Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Well, if I had any doubts about leaving England, today has finally laid those doubts to rest.
These are personal reasons so please don't feel the need to tell me that this goes on in Australia too, I know this could happen anywhere but it happened to us in England.
It is now 5am and don't think I will be able to sleep until my body gives up later on today.
My daughter has been bullied relentlessly by a group of 14yr old boys at school for just over a year now, mostly name calling but she has also had stones thrown at her and dirty drain water poured over her head and food rubbed into her eyes. The school have tried to intervene and stop them but seem to have their hands tied.
She ventured to the local village Fete today. She phoned me after one hour crying and asking me to come and pick her up, yep the group were there and were up to their usual nasty tricks, name calling, telling other boys that she doesn't even know to go and hit her, and the ring leader rode his bike into her and kicked her. Sadly but understandably her friends do not intervene, because whilst its her they pick on... you know the rest.
My husband came home from his late shift at 8pm and when he heard what had happened decided enough is enough and drove to the ring leaders house to speak to his father, thinking that they would be like us if our son was bullying a girl (horrified :mad: ) WRONG...... They had a house full of rowdy drunk people and rather than discuss it with my husband, the father and around another 10 men + teenage boys jumped on my husband and got him on the ground and proceeded to kick him and kick him and kick him, mostly in the head and whilst they were doing this the teenage boys and other men kicked our car and smashed our car lights.
I have spent 6 hours at the hospital with my husband who is now home and in bed. I cannot look at him without wanting to cry. His face is swollen like a football and black and blue, one eye has completely closed up and he can hardly walk. The doctor could not believe that the xray showed no fractures as he actually has 2 clear stamp marks on his head along with the bruises. I am sure if my husband had been a smaller man I would not have him home with me now and that he would be lying on a slab in a mortuary.
We also came home to messages that they are coming round to finish him off tonight or tomorrow.
Finish him off?? He hasn't even bloody done anything wrong, he just wanted to ask the parents to stop their son bullying our daughter. I just cannot see how total strangers can kick someone that they don't even know in the head repeatedly, how can people feel that hate and aggression for absolutely no reason.
I cannot tell my husband that I don't feel safe going to bed, this would upset him more but these are the kind of people that wont drop it because I called the police. The ring leaders father is now in a police cell charged with G.B.H and C.I.D have said that they will arrest all the others too but I am not so sure as we don't know any of their names or addresses and obviously before the police arrived at the scene they had all disappeared.
I am so sorry to ramble on and hope I haven't bored anyone that reads it but I am just so upset I had to write it all down.
Please Please, let our house sale go through quickly and smoothly!

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

If you're moving to aus anyway think about maybe moving sooner and going into rental or something.

Some people are Scum, they are not however beyond the law - if it were me I'd have the kids out of that school - sod the consequences , and be on the phone to the school about expulsions and the council and the governors. BOllocks to all this 'dont run away' crap , this sounds like its beyond the realms of sensible acts.

Good luck to you & yours - you know what when you get that visa and get over here it'll be a very big relief . That crap does go on over here Im sure but I havent read about it in any papers here , but in the UK local paper you can pick & choose your story... either the press dont report it , or more likely, its less prevelant.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

oh chattychazza, i really don't know what to say. except i am sooooo glad that your husband hasn't got any really derious damage done to him. i wish i could come round and give you a hug, what an absolute shock.

these bastards are ruining people's lives and have not one jot of concience. the police try but as you say, unless they brake ranks, little hope of getting all of them. do you have someone who can come and sit with you? could you not live with family until the house goes through. even if it meant taking your poor daughter away from school for a couple of months, won't make any difference to her schooling for that amount of time.
i really don't know what else to say except i hope you can all stay safe and strong and your husband makes a speedy recovery.

Louise

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Sounds horrific Shaza, the sooner you all get on that plane the better.
Best wishes with the house sale & the new life in Brissy.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Awful. Have my first karma. Inform the police of the threats - they may be able to monitor your phone for caller's numbers and protect you.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Bloody Hell Sharon..:mad:

That's probably got me more angry than any post I've ever seen on BE!
My sympathies go out to you, your poor husband, and the rest of your family.

Good to see that you've got the police onto this F**king scum!
Hope the police catch the rest of th b*stards as well!

I know you must be scared at the moment, but don't be intimidated by this sort of bloody pondlife! Make sure you take it all the way & the courts jail them all and throw away the key...:mad:

Once again, our best wishes to you and yours...

Cheers.... John & Gillian....

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

OMG I felt sick reading your post, you poor things. That is disgusting. I agree with other posters, my daughter wouldn't be going back to school until I knew she would be safe going. Is there a relative you could send her to stay with for a couple of weeks, not running away, but just away from the situation for a while. Don't worry about schooling as she'll catch up & as she's leaving anyway....... What stage is your house sale at?

Sending you karma (if I can, never done it b4)

Loopy

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Thanks so much everyone for the kind words and encouragement, I know I don't know any of you personally but I need to grab some faith in human kind at the moment and the fact that people that I don't know take the time to reply and send kind wishes means a lot.
I agree 100% with everything that all of you wrote, I will see it through with the police and I wont let my daughter spend one more day in that school. My children were too scared to stay here last night so may well have to stay with relatives for a while.
The survey on our house came back 2 weeks ago all ok and our buyers have sold to first time buyers so everything crossed that it wont be long now.

Sharon
x

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Thank god your husband is OK.

He's probably going to be traumatised for a long, long time and these kind of things have an uncanny knack of making people feel responsible for some unknown reason. It has probably knocked the stuffing out of your husband, making him feel vulnerable. He may wonder how he can protect his family when these cretins have done this to him.

The crux of the matter is that you, your husband and daughter have done nothing wrong. You must reassure yourselves of this, keep your confidence and be strong for each other, as a team.

I don't want to scaremonger, but I agree with the others on here. Get out of that house and that place asap. I wouldn't put it past those morons to come back as unfortunately the law is no deterrent in the UK. It protects the wrong people. Yes of course this can happen anywhere in the world, however I also noticed before leaving UK that there has been a massive decline in moral values, something of which I haven't encountered anywhere else, ever.

The other thing to consider, which no doubt you have, is your daughter's long term wellbeing. God knows how much mental anguish all this has caused her already. The body heals a lot quicker than the mind when these things happen and I wouldn't be at all surprised if your daughter is a broken person with no confidence and low self esteem after all of this. No doubt she too will blame herself, which is of course nonsense but understandable. I believe you daughter is going to take a long time to heal from this experience and her new life in Aus will help her to trust people again.

Please reassure your daughter, your husband and yourself that you are not to blame. You must consider yourselves targets....not a victims......and fight back this injustice with your heads held high. Otherwise those morons will have conquered and won and by god they don't deserve to.

You sound a level headed person who's strong enough to cope. You need to work out a strategy to get away from there asap and keep your goals of a new life in Aus in mind. This will keep you sane during this very stressful time.

Everyone on here inc myself and my family wish you all the best. It beggars beyond belief that people can do this to each other, but there you go. Wherever there are humans there is this kind of behaviour. You've just got to keep strong and not let it get to you. Put it into perspective....and move on.

My thoughts are with you. Take care and good luck.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

You poor people, what a terrible thing to happen. Hope the house sale goes thru as quickly as possible and you can get out of there.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Wow, it's like you are a fly on our wall. You are absolutely right in everything you have said, even our 10yr old son was blaming himself for not being older and being able to protect his sister and yes I think we will all be very traumatised by this for a very long time. I do believe that we will come out stronger through this.
I don't think I have ever loved and cherished my husband and children more than I do right now. And my husband at the moment has no regrets, he said that the mental pain of not doing anything about the bullying was worse than the physical pain he is in right now,(think he may regret the timing, but how was he to know that they would have a house full of thugs, rather than just one or two) he quoted someone whilst we were in the hospital, cant remember who and what exactly but something along the lines of
"Whilst good men stand by and do nothing, evil will flourish" which is right or course. We will just have to try not to punish ourselves too much that we let it go on for this long and remember to hold our heads up high.
Tomorrow/Today will be a day of discussion and reassurance in our house and think we will probably say bye to our house and go and stay with relatives whilst the sale goes through.
Thanks again everyone!

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

as hard as this will be for you i think that it is the most sensible thing concidering the kind of people you are dealing with. staying will only keep you on the edge of your seat waiting for the 'revenge' (for want of a better word) bullies (because that is what the father is also) will never see reason and take this further, just to save face. no matter what harm done to you family in the process.
move in with family and try, please try, to make your last days in the UK relatively happy.


Louisex

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

i think your husband, and yourself and your children are very brave. its a terrible, terrible thing and i can understand your need to feel some humanity through the forum. rest assured that people like that are a minority who, unfortunately, can have devestating effects. i wonder if you ought to get in touch with victim support. i know they have been fantastic with others. they have a web site or the number is 0845 30 30 900. you will have lots of support from here and friends, family, but it might be useful to talk to experienced people. i wish you all the best and wish i could do more. your husban is a hero.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Hi Chattyshazza

So sorry to hear what happened but agree with Spalen, that although I am sure things like that happen in Oz, I have not heard of any. I am bayside in Brisbane, at Ormiston and feel incredibly safe here. Hopefully once you arrive here your daughter will be able to pick up the pieces and not suffer any long term effects from what she has been through.
One thing I have noticed here is that although the kids are extremely confident they seem to have more repect for adults, and surely this is the way it should be.
Hope your husband recovers soon and that the police catch these people.
My thoughts are with you.
Amanda

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

That's the spirit. Be strong and prop each other up during the low points.

A friend once said during my low points "everything for a reason"...and at times I've questioned what reasons there are behind some awful things that have happened. However always...always...things have turned out good.

I put that down to not wallowing in self pity but making the best out of a bad situation. Like you, I realise "shit happens".

Learn from it..let it make us stronger....and move on. Just as you are doing ;)

You've got great new lives to look forward to in Aus. Keep this as your main focus .....and you'll be OK.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

I am so sorry, I don't know what to say. I am so angry and upset after reading your post - I can't imagine how you must feel.

If I can add something positive based on our experience of oz - my son is 14 and often comments on the lack of violence and bullying in his school over here. I think he had got used to a culture of bullying in the uk. I hope this will reassure your daughter to some extent.

I wish you and your family all the best.

Rachel x

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Deepest sympathies from us.
We too had a similar experience which left us wanting to leave U.K for ever.
When I posted, it helped just to get it off my chest and stopped me taking the law into my own hands. Looking back now I wish I had done just that as the judge had more sympathy for the accused than the bloody victim.
I knew as you do that things like this happen all over the world but believe me when you get here it's like an enormous weight is lifted off of you. Things will be different and just knowing that the people who did this are 24 hrs away by plane makes things feel so much better.
Debbie and sean

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

I am so glad your hubby is ok, I mean well enough to come home and rest up, I am sure he is far from OK.

What a terrible thing to happen. I hope you have been to the police and got these people charged with GBH. I also think you should go and stay with family pref a few miles away, so at least you feel safe for you and your family.

What a terrible thing to happen. I hope your house sale goes through quickly.

ATB Katie

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

OMG cant imagine what your going through. i hope the police give you all the support you need and deserve. best wishes and try and keep your chin up, i bet your daughter is very upset and traumatised as well - lets hope she doesnt blame herself. you all need lots of hugs
amanda

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Good luck with the house, hope it all goes through ok. Its disgusting that some people can behave in this deplorable way. Hope your husband and kids and you too will be ok and get to Oz soon.

Love

Mel

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

There is absolutely nothing I can say that will make you feel any more less scared or secure, apart from the fact that my thoughts are with you and your family (not much help I know). It makes me sick to the stomach that this sort of scum feel they can actually get away with behaviour (and they probably are arrogant enough to think that they are the ones being wronged) What hope do the kids have when when they see the example of the parents.I really admire your families courage and hope you all feel better soon.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Hi Shazza,

this is absolutely disgraceful, but I am not surprised at what your hubby found!! Hopefully the father, if you can call him one!! can think of more appropriate names but unprintable!!!, will receive a custodial sentance, how seriously are the police taking the bullying allegations? can you press charges or do you have to wait till they hurt your daughter??

Thinking of you all, stay safe, demand the police install a panic alarm!

Chris

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

That is horrific :(

So very sorry. Hope your husband makes a speedy recovery and that those unmentionable people get what is coming to them.

Trying to send karma

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Shazza

To concur with everyone else Steve, Jonah, Bubba & I would like to pass on to you all our support. love & friendship. I don't think people like this are aware of the pain they can cause. To be honest, if this is what the father of the bully is like I am not surprised his kid has turned out the way he has. Get away for a couple of weeks and try to put it all behind you.

All our thoughts are with you,

Claire
xxx:)

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

OMG absolutely bloody disgusting.........just goes to show tho bullying usually starts at home! Thank god your hubby is doing ok. I don't know about how others would feel, but if it were my daughter she certainly would not be going back to that school or very far outa my sight, her safety is paramount. So much for the schools Anti-Bullying policies. Like another poster said can you not move sooner and rent for a while, give power of attorney to a solicitor for the dealings on you house and get outa there and start fresh!! Support 'K' on it's way for what it's worth??

Those bully's should have "Trouble" tattooed on there foreheads, so we know when to cross the road. Or better still ship them all to deserted island so that they can bully each other.......Now there's a reality TV Show in the making lol! Good Luck & stay safe.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

OMG that is awful I am so sorry that your family have had to deal with something like this.

Our thoughts are with you and wish you all the luck with the house sale and your new life in Austalia.

Michelle

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Im absolutely gobsmacked, you poor poor things. I agree with everyone else, go & stay somewhere else, I know how unsettling it can be not feeling safe in your own home so find somewhere away from the memories. And please please please, make sure you follow through with the police - scum like that shouldnt be allowed to get away it. As someone else said, its no wonder the child is like he is with a role model like that. :mad:

There really isnt anything much else I can say, but I do hope you all start to feel better soon. Karma on its way.

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Oh my God!!
I'm lost for words. There really are some cruel people in the world.
I've got my fingers crossed that you get your house sold soon so you can get over to Oz asap.
Marie

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Absolutely apalled at reading your story. Needless to say i agree with everyone else and wholeheartedly send you as many good wishes and as much support as I can.

I think the top priority now is to try and make your children feel safe at home, wherever you chose to call home,before leaving and after arriving in Australia. You and your family have had that violated by these b*****ds but that needs to be the first thing to try and redress. It helps to deal with whatever shit life throws at you from outside if you can feel safe at home. Even if it means installing alarms and extra locks to make you all feel safe, then that's ok.

Long term:
Ask your daughter if she is happy to invite her friends round to see her. It must be very difficult for all of them. She must feel disappointed (even if understanding) that haven't helped her. Likewise, they are probably feeling very guilty. But I think it is important for her to have friends, don't let the bullies ruin the relationships she has as well as her self esteem. She must be wondering what is wrong with herself why these people should keep picking on her. I think trying to raise her self esteem has to be all important. The poor girl must be feeling that it is all her fault what has happened to her father. He, on the other hand, must be feeling like such a failure for not protecting his daughter. It is so instinctive for a man to protect his family that I would imagine this will take a while to recover from. I think, as a family, you will need to do a lot or working through all this together. Be open with your feelings. To often I have seen grief tear families apart because they haven't been able to share their emotions and this is a similar situation. Talk together, reassure each other that no-one is too blame and that it hasn't affected how you all feel about each other. Sorry if I am prattling on, I'm sure you already know all these things.

Short term:
Do/go wherever you need to to feel safe. Keep your daughter off school, if that is what she wants. And accept all the love that everyone is sending you. It is sincerely meant. Try not to lose your faith in human good nature, these people are scum.

Anne

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Hi Sharon

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have had to go through such a tremendous ordeal and your daughter must be feeling really low.

I was myself bullied at high school they used to wait for me to walk out of the gates and chase me and punch me till they thought I'd had enough. Eventually after much aggravation from my parents the girls were suspended from school and the ringleader was expelled.

I agree with everyone else's thoughts, please move away from there and don't think you're running away - you are just keeping your family safe.

Our thoughts are with you at this time, send our best wished for a speedy recovery top your hubby and the sonner you have your house sold the better.

Have you got your flights booked?

We wish you and yourfamily all the best for a safe future.
As they say, keep your chin up and stay strong.

Ang, Rich & girls

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Not much more I can add really. :(

Hope things work out for you and the future is brighter

Best wishes

G

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

So sorry to hear of your horrific ordeal.
It's events like these that make us want to leave our country and try pastures new.
Duplicating waht others have said try to get away from home for a few days just so you can at least get a decent nights sleep without fretting.

Our thoughts & prayers are with you and your family

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Just focus, focus, focus on your new life in Australia.
Best wishes

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

I am so sorry to read about your ordeal. Yes, your husband is a hero and I hope he recovers soon. There is not much more that I can add to all the comments made already.

Unfortunately there is a growing breed of this type of people that are getting away with their behaviour. Can they be named and shamed via papers or TV or is that not allowed if you take it further legally? Would that protect you and your family more if the event was broadcast? Can you get police protection? Do whatever you have to until you leave UK. I hope your new life in Aus begins very soon.

Best wishes to you all
Theresa

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Oh Shazza.......

Our hearts go out to you and yours......

I'm sure this is just a British thing. We have also noticed the considerable decline in moral standards and the serious lack of respect that people in the UK have for one another over the past few years!

Hold your heads high, you are BETTER than these people. They use their fists because they have insufficient intelligence to deal with this kind of issue by talking about it!

The prime motivator in our migrating, is these people!! We are sick to our high teeth of the 'chav' culture spreading through the UK like wildfire. You cannot even escape it in Guildford, supposedly the wealthiest city in the UK!!! No longer can we go for a night out in town without the fear of violence. We stick to 'country pubs' these days and we are only in our mid 20's!!!

Like I said, keep your heads held high, life can surely only get better down under!

See you in Brisbane..... ;)

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

OMG!!!

I really hope you manage to get out of there a.s.a.p. and your house sale goes through without any problems.

Your new life will surely be just around the corner.

All the very best.

SS

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

They tried that - they ended up with Australians :D

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

How awful, I can't imagine how you are feeling. I agree with the others you should find somewhere else temporarily to stay just while things calm down and I would never send my child back to school, in that situation.

Hope your house sale goes through smoothly and you can start your new life.

Thinking of you all.

Nikki
xx

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

I'm so sorry to hear what these scum have done to your family.
It makes me want to go and visit them myself and teach these bullies a lesson :mad:

Re: Worst Night Of My Life!
 

Dont know what else to say except to echo other people's comments.

Hope the police lock them up and throw away the key! :mad: