ABCDiamond

Ahh... but isn't that just a fact of "married" life

SHEETY

yeah I suppose you should see her buy shoes not a pair in the shop untried!

mrsmuppet

Dear Sheety
My hubby walked in a month or so ago and announced that he was applying for a job in SA. At first I was really excited about the prospect of it all. Next week he has to take an exam to see if he gets the job, then its interview and medicals and all that. Now, though, the thing I am most worried about is the logistics of it all. The thought of having to pack up a house which contains 3 kids and their associated cr*p scares the hell out of me! If hubby gets this job he has to be there by the end of March, so that is even more pressure on us - we could be without him for some time and all the moving and trying to sort everything out before we join him will all be down to me. It is very un-nerving and i think its more the logistical side of things that is making her panic. I think the advice about getting her on here is brill. I dont visit often, but when I do I spend most of my time reading the threads and making notes. It has been an invaluable source of research. Sit her down with a glass or three of wine and ask her what exactly it is she is afraid of. Answer is the only thing to be afraid of is fear itself. Ive never been to Oz but hubby has and loves it. Thats good enough for me.

SHEETY

Don't know about getting her on here I read through alot of posts on expats too and it even puts me off sometimes. It is things she comes out with sometimes which make me feel thats it! now I am not going e.g looking for a home on the real estate site me I am a cautious kind of guy you know start smallish keep some money behind you that sort of thing, The wife comes out with ''If I don't have a big house I'm not going'' see what I am up against like banging your head on a brick wall. I ask myself is she going to be of any support to the family if and when we are there? I have my doubts.I am trying not to be selfish and force the move it has to be all agree or we stay here and make the most of it Even my little girl can have her say but so far she wants to go (wants to see kangaroos bless her).

Mrs muppet are you just going because your husband likes it? What will you do if you hate it there? Will he pack in his work and come home if you are not happy? And what about the kids do they all want to go or are they being dragged there?These are just a few things that come to mind and think need to be answered for the benefit of all on this site, people need to be brought down to earth a little on here and get them ''rose tints'' off. To me selling up going for six months and coming back again seems a total waste of money and for those who say at least you have given it a go been there and done that before luckily no mortgage or wife back then so no big fuss.

And by the way I am posting all this stuff just to get the other perspective on this emigration thing So it is not all ''going to Australia is the best thing we have done'' It swings both ways and people should remember that.

ABCDiamond

Your wife sounds a bit like mine We have holiday snaps of her standing outside shoe shops from the first visit she made to the UK. She may not have been impressed with the UK, but she sure liked the shoe shops..

SHEETY

Yeah what is it with woman and shoes they don't buzz and swivel around so it can't be that

anya4oz

It's simple....

The thing about shoes is that they *always* fit, no matter what else goes wrong with your physique - even when you can't do up your jeans 'cos you've put on 3kg over Xmas, those fuschia pink sequinned strappy high-heeled party sandals won't let you down.

And I should know - I've got over 120 pairs of shoes :scared: .

Imelda Marcos just aint in my league....

Anya.

ABCDiamond

Not any more maybe , but once upon a time...... she left 1,220 pairs behind when they hurriedly left the Philippines, looks like she only took 40 pairs with her !!

SHEETY

Maybe the misses could open a shoe shop in Oz now theres thought going to have to look into this

tiredwithtwins

...as a woman i have yet to find the answer!
i own a pair of high heel boots, a flat heel pair of boots, 4 pairs of trainers and about 10 pairs of sandals/thongs!!(shoe variety I hasten to add-got a fab couple of pairs in the 'freespirit' sale at meadowhell the other day!)
My mum used to despair of me ever being a 'girly girl', and I havent disappointed!

SHEETY

Had me hopes up there for a while 10 pairs of Thongs wow

doodle

Hi Sheety,

totally agree with you about 'going for six months and coming back again seems a total waste of money'. People must have money to burn if they have that kind of attitude, any way who has that kind of money? One question to you, why do you think Australia is your answer to having a better life? Just because you can go doesn't mean you have to go. If your wife was more open minded and confident about going then I'm sure you would give it your best but she isn't. If you were going to give it your best in Australia you can give it your best in England. Whats the difference?

anya4oz

I know it sounds harsh, but if you're having major disagreements that affect your relationship while you are still in the UK, you will almost certainly take that baggage with you to Oz. Only you two know if your partnership is strong enough to withstand the pressure of the disagreement and the trials & tribulations of setting up home in a new country. Even moving here with full agreement and lots of certainties is not easy on the most harmonious relationship.

Just a thought - but how about both of you going & talking with one of the advisors at say 'Relate'? (what used to be called 'marriage guidance counselling' back in the Dark Ages ). They won't give you all the answers, but they will get you both 'thinking out of the box' about your situation, so that you can see the way ahead for yourselves.

Very best of luck to you both, anyway, whatever you decide.

Anya.

SHEETY

Hi Doodle
The wife you see has been through relocation before but she did not have to worry about work or a place to live so she has an idea of what to expect.I assume you came from the UK so won't talk about the weather and being stuck indoors most of the year and when you do venture out somewhere it costs you a small fortune even a cheap weekend away comes into the hundreds of £'s.At least in Australia the weather is better which should allow more time outdoors and I have relatives over there too which is good when you want to go somewhere different we have all agreed not to live on each others door step for this reason so we can house swap good idea hey! AT the end of the day it is down to her to make her mind up whether to go or not That is the decision she has to make and stick to it and not tell me a year or two down the line that she wants to go.(by the way have still caught her looking at houses there on the net so fingers crossed)

SHEETY

[QUOTE=anya4oz]I know it sounds harsh, but if you're having major disagreements that affect your relationship while you are still in the UK, you will almost certainly take that baggage with you to Oz. Only you two know if your partnership is strong enough to withstand the pressure of the disagreement and the trials & tribulations of setting up home in a new country. Even moving here with full agreement and lots of certainties is not easy on the most harmonious relationship.

Just a thought - but how about both of you going & talking with one of the advisors at say 'Relate'? (what used to be called 'marriage guidance counselling' back in the Dark Ages ). They won't give you all the answers, but they will get you both 'thinking out of the box' about your situation, so that you can see the way ahead for yourselves.

Very best of luck to you both, anyway, whatever you decide.

RELATE OOoooooo not a chance in hell(I hope this post does not sound as if we do not get along it is just the emigration thing thats the bummer).Yeah I know about the stresses it puts people under when they go but believe me she does not need to change countries to stree me out she can do that right here