Margaret2

So do i, i really envy people with family nearby to help out, it must be great to get a night out with your OH
But as you said Gobby we cope somehow. I think this is one of the things that will make the move to oz a little easier for me than others, i am not used to family around or helping , so won't miss it
It is also due to this that makes the move 'right for us' at this stage in our lives, it was difficult juggling child care and work here, i don't think i could have coped with it in a country that i wasn't aware of the system

geordie mandy

I may have family near by but when ever (rarely)i ask for help they say yes but nearly always let me down.
My in laws who live in Scotland help me more . Many a time in an emergency i just muddle through with help of neighbours or in some cases strangers.
The first thing i will try and do in oz is make friends and be willing to help others .
Mandy

Margaret2

The first thing I'll do is get my daughter to start a wee babysitting business (she'll be 15 then), lol

Australia_bound?

Well if you have no family there then you HAVE to make new friends. We're very lucky having loads of family a short drive from where we want to initially settle.
Hope your post raises this issue to others....

TheHallidays

Thanks for all the replies guys - just had my first food (other than a digestive biscuit yesterday) since Sunday - feeling much better!

Good to hear about sympathetic employers - when you don't know the culture it's difficult to know what to expect, but I guess there'll be good and bad - same as here.

I think what Geordie Mandy said has struck a chord with me about being willing to help others (not that I wouldn't have been, but here you just assume people will have help unless you know them well and know otherwise) - I'll def be offering help to others, just in case they don't have support rather than assuming they will have - good food for thought!

Cheers,

Jane

xx

Stitch

This same thought woke me up last night...

In the UK my mum was there for me 24/7 (drove me and the hubby nuts actually) but now that we're here I've realised there is noone....

I know I'm still jetlagged and feel heartbroken but it does worry me. It's the little things that we took for granted. Here's hoping we can get through all this.

Cheers

Ginny

tiredwithtwins

me too........im always up for a spot of kiddy sitting!!!
You and I have had one or two laughs on here Donna, so im sure i owe you !!!
....although you might have a bit of a wait for me to come over though....dont book any nights out over christmas!!!!

tiredwithtwins

just re read this thread.....and i think thats the beauty of a place like BE - you soon find someone in a similar position to yourself who is willing to help out/offer advice etc.....
kinda makes you feel all warm and fuzzy

rightio mags....get your daughter to buy a BIG diary for her babysitting bookings - looks like she may be busy

madsad

Thankyou TWT really appreciate that & only too happy to return the help if you ever need me!
I dont mind waiting !!!

I want to thank everyone who has pm'd me & for their lovely comments on this thread,as others have said we're all in a similar situation & we will need help at some point.Thanks also to Jane for starting this thread & raising this issue,hope your feeling better soon x

The comments have also given my confidence a wee boost too,I realise i need to 'get over it' & get out there & make friends,lately i have felt very much on my own,lonely, fed up kinda thing,i just find making new friends difficult as I'm quite quiet believe it or not!!!
Regardless its nice to know that we're not on our own & have to learn to ask for help when we need it,even from strangers,nutters on here

Donna.

cranni

You will make some lovely friends, and most of them are in the same boat, even my Aussi friends do not have family nearby.
I have made some lovely friends, we help each other, my kids are a bit older so im ok, and i have my 20 yr old daaughter here and a brill hubby.
I have started work now and have only my 8 yr old to worry about, but have so many ofers of help.
On the other hand i help others as well.
New people coming over i help out looking after the kids, babysitting so they can go out.
Sometimes you have to try just that little bit harder. And you will be ok.
You have a little un, so first of all seek out mother and baby groups, there will be someone there in the same boat as you, and just waiting for that special friend. Good luck , Denise

cranni

And if you keep up with that attitude you will be absolutely fine Donna.
I started the billy no mates BNM club when i came here and have a lovely circle of friends now. I think better than i had in the UK.
You just have to be a bit more assertive, i find. Just go for it.
Good luck to you
Denise

iPom

Hi Jane
My family didn't help us when we were in England and my hub's family were here in Australia. We've bought up our own children on our own, through chicken pox, food poisoning, the flu, colds, coughs, viral meningitis, three c-sections (the last one near death for me and my son) and all the other childhood stuff.
My friend helped out by taking the kids to school and dropping them back ... I couldn't have done it without her. You will make friends who will do the same for you I am sure.


How do you cope? You just have to. Dropping from full blown flu? Carry on going and hope your hub can take a day off work to help you out. We find being sick in shifts helps - I usually come down with it last after I've been nursing everyone else for weeks on end.
Just life.

jad n rich

To be quite honest most friends dont want your kids when they are sick, especially if its a puke virus or something else catching, plus many people both work anyway.

So we have rotated the kids when sick between me partner and older son, luckily a lot of our work is self employment so its often been ok. It is a problem tho, most employers ask women (not men ) what you will do with your kids if they get sick/hols etc at the interview.

Worst time has been when kids were younger and one went into hosptial, then hospital said no siblings to be around. Absolute nightmare.

soapy©

best thing u can do as soon as u arrive, is get yir arse to the first meet
if and its a big IF you make friends. u will be sorted for life.

Larissa

You just cope! I'm one of those people who cringe at asking mates to babysit and we've managed all sorts of lurgies without asking for help, besides if I felt there was a chance my kids were ill I'm the sort of person who will keep them away from others. (This is where Mr Disney comes in really helpful!).

However, I'm having a bub really soon so have had to get past my cringing about asking for help, otherwise there'd be an 8 and 3 year old in the delivery room with us! Thankfully friends have asked before I asked them and I have a list of 5 or 6 people to call. It all depends on when labour starts as some will be at work if it's in the day, but hopefully between them we will be able to sort it, plus daycare have said they will have the little one in at short notice. Antenatal appointments are fine as the hospital have a creche for this, but waits are often over an hour. Pity it's not availiable for mums in labour.

Another tactic is to keep the fridge and cupboards well stocked, hubby has worked overseas a bit and the kids were ill when he was away. Thankfully I had plenty of panadol in, plus a well stocked medical box. We've never had parents around to help out (they'd probably be more of a hindrance lol) so have just learnt little techniques to get by.