Candasmith

Hi

I'm new to the forum but having read various posts I thought I'd look for some advice/support from the people who have been through the emigration to OZ from the UK.

I have a wife and two girls (6 & 7). I started the process a couple of years ago when everything looked fantastic. I now have a visa, buyer for the house and looking at going out in May 09. This makes me very lucky but I can't seem to appreciate it for the stress of everything else.

The whole move is about my two girls whom I want a better life for but I can't help thinking now that by taking them away from their family I may be making things worse!

Add to this the change in economic climate in the last two years (exchange rate/houses etc) and the apparent lack of rentals in Melbourne, then the risk from moving seems to be growing. I am also the breadwinner in the house so will be walking away from a good job without any guarantees in OZ.

I'm currently telling myself that it is an adventure and that if I don't do it I'll regret it.

Once we move out of the house I'm hoping that things will get easier.

Any word of wisdom will be welcome.

moneypenny20

Be fair to yourself. It's a scary scary process and suddenly you're at the point of no return and you have children so you're not just looking out for yourself. Take a step back, remember why you've gone through this process and look forward. There's no such thing as failure in life. You can make mistakes yes but fail? no. Whatever happens is an experience and if you go into it with your eyes open and accept Aus for what it is - a common or garden first world country with the rubbish that goes with that then you'll be fine. If you find it's not for you, you 'only' lose money but you gain a major insight into your true wants and needs.

It's totally normal to feel scared. If you didn't, you wouldn't be a human being with feelings.

Sonn

My OH and I are in the same position, we have our own house (which we will be renting out), OH has good job and we have a good social life. I have 2 little girls aged 3 & 7 who are close to our families too. BUT, i dont want to sit around here wondering what if, we want to take our little girls to try new things and show them the world. Life is far to short and not a rehersal to sit wondering and imagining, if it doesnt work out we will come back but at least we will have tried it, i would rather regret something ive done than regret something i didnt do and it be too late....

carolinephillips

Your girls will soon make new best friends- they are still young. Mine is 12 and it is a slightly different matter, but the prospects for her are so much better than staying here that I am giving up her grammar school and music scholarship,and starting fresh- thogh I wish I had done it a year ago.
Caroline

Kapri

Candasmith - I feel the same.

If it was just me I would go without a backward glance secure in the knowledge that whatever mistakes I make would only affect me.

As it is I have 2 kids and a husband who never had any wish to emigrate.
Although he is looking forward to it now I can't help feeling I pushed him and if it goes pear shaped it will be all my fault.

I'm going anyway though - I'd rather go and regret it than not go and regret it

jan

Well without sounding negative. No expat can help you as in most circumstances each has their own view and exp.

Free advice is worth what it cost. But from my own slant on the matter i would consider each option choose a path and stick to it.
As i see it .. Do you have time to wait longer ? House price situation may be quite different in a year or two. Up or down no one knows.
House prices in oz are also unknown. I personally, If i made the decision to go, rent out my U.K. house. A. Because i would return if i could not secure work or other reason. B. I would have saved all the fees incured when selling until i was sure and settled. and also i would bet on exchange rates going up at some point in time.
I am amazed you have a buyer for your house that is prepared to wait until may 2009!
As far as Jobs go nothing is gauranteed U.K. or O.Z. An ellement of good fortune is required.
Very best of luck with your dillema many of us will empathise with you.

kelbelinoz

from someone who has been there and now back within 8 months!! Go for it, yes it is scary, but its an adventure!!! We have returned as my hubby couldn't get enough work, and didn't particularly like the hoops he had to jump through to get a low paid job.

We sold our house, spent a bloody fortune......but at the end of all of it, I can say we tried it!! I no longer look at uk wanting to escape, I feel calm in traffic and appreciate the beauty this country has to offer...I forgot how green it is....after being in oz where it very rarely rains...and is very yellow!!

Now I have been I no longer wonder what if.....and at least I have something to compare things to when I hate uk and it's ways. Every country has it's problems.

My childrens lives have been enriched enormously as they went to school there, also got to travel and see things they would only have seen in books or on tv.

Ive met some fantastic people and got to spend time with an old friend that emigrated years ago to Sydney.

When I can't sleep at night I have somebody to call, I have learnt new words, eaten new food, seen amazing places etc etc. Most of all I have fulfilled a lifetimes ambition. I have even learnt new levels of patience......after all this is the most stressful thing you can ever do.

Good Luck and enjoyxxxx

Candasmith

Thanks for the words. Unfortunately our house buyer won't wait until next year so we will be taking a rental in the UK for a while. I gave a commitment to my employer and don't want to break it (I'll be needing references after all) hence waiting until next year. I think once that we sell the house things will get easier as that will be a large step on the way. Renting was an option but I want to move away from the area anyway as it seems to have gained a lot of negative publicity over the last couple of years.

You are all correct when you say it is something that should be done and not regretted although I do intend to give it two years out there irrespective of how things work out. One thing that I find is that something like this really makes you appreciate what it is that you currently have!

Lettik

we are pretty much in the same situation. We have sold house here in Ireland and are moving to Adelaide (we werent given the choice of anywhere else for 2 years) in November. We are leaving good, permanent, secure jobs to what???? who knows...... it is extremely scary. Neither of us can get employment until we go, well probably not, not sure if we'll have what is being looked for. But we got to try we feel.

We started this process over 2 years ago because we wanted to try something new, not content to see out our days here in Ireland and not have tried something new. Had we not been successful in the visa application it would have been easier I suppose to have stayed because it wouldn't have been our fault - we tried! but, we have the visa, and suddenly it's like "oh shit, we got to go now" but thats what we wanted, its just when your faced with the reality, suddenly everything is perfect where you are! We will go, try to make a go of it, if it works - everythings peachy, if not, we tried and have had an adventure - there can be no regrets for grabbing life, feeling the fear but doing it anyway!!!!!

flip

I think the most important thing is that you and your wife are on the same page. If it's a joint decision neither can be held to blame.

Congratulations on selling your house in a very difficult market and, if you're going to move to another area anyway then there can't be a loss and you should have plenty of choice.

As for the market and exchange rate, it's recommended (by property buyers and many expats I know) that you rent for a while to check you've chosen the right location for you - people can choose the wrong state for them or just the wrong suburb in the first instance so taking a year (usual minimum rental particularly in Melbourne) to assess the market, schools, areas you like and the style of house that appeal will give you time to check on movement in the property market.

Currently prices are calming after a ridiculous year and you don't have to transfer your money until you need to buy and the exchange rate may improve in that time - obviously if you do transfer money though you'll be receiving a higher rate of interest than in the UK.

I think one big factor is how close you live to family at the moment. I made the decision I could leave the UK because although I adore my family, for the last 20 years I'd lived a minimum of 1 1/2 hours away from them and though we spoke every week we only saw each other about 6 times a year. I also checked everyone was healthy before we even considered it. I really feel for those people who have lived close to much loved family and old friends all their lives as the adjustment must be much greater.

Job hunting can be hard - my husband came out here for work but the job wasn't as described so he left - it really was dreadful. He spent a year out of his work and eventually delivered junk mail and worked night sorting for the post office.

Eventually he found a fabulous job (less pay and responsibility than in the UK but just 10 minutes away from home and a great team to work with) and he's been happy there for over a year now.

Basically I think it all depends on the work you do, how ambitious you are and what you want out of your new life.

This may all sound negative - it's not meant to. Moving out here for us was as much a commitment as buying our first homes, marriage and having our children. Thankfully it's been as amazing as we could have hoped and although we had a backout clause that we would leave if we were very unhappy after two years, we knew within the first couple of months that wouldn't be happening.

All the best with your decision.

Carolyn

michael_w

I think it starts to get easier after about the first six months. Looking back it's a bit joining the army: the process knocks you down and you have to rebuild yourself from nothing. The first few months can be hell and you want to quit and go home.

But then without realising it after a while you find that everything is going smoothly and you are part of something very good and you can never go back to your old life.

asprilla

Hi candasmith,

I'm sure it is a very scary experience!! I'm not jealous of you, to be honest.

If I were you, I would read lots of threads in the update forum, and lots in the "moving back to the UK" forum. This should give you a good idea of the ups and downs.

Then I would make sure that all the family is committed to give it a go.

Then I'd come up with some back-up plans in case it all goes pear shaped. What will you do if half the family like it and half don't? Best to have all this thought out beforehand....

Then you just have to think about whether or not to do it. If it did all go wrong and you had to move back to the UK with your tail between your legs and £20k down, how would you feel? Would you get back on your feet and think "at least I gave it a go"? Or would you be all doom and gloom?

I reckon that if you are pretty confident about getting reasonably well paid work out here, then why not try it out ? You won't be committing yourself to a life sentence out here.

cheers