I would wait until I was so sure about my decision (whether "I'll emigrate" or "I won't emigrate") that I didn't feel the need to consult anyone about it.

honest answer?? sounds like you and your family have different objectives ie want to live in different places. Rarely does dragging a familiy who dont want to go to OZ work. I assume your family are your most important consideration, so why not get the whole family together and take a 2006 look at australia, my guess and the changes ive seen since 2000 would say its nothing like your 1982 memories. Look at jobs/ house priaces/cost of living/ what it may hold for your childrens futures rather than seaworld and the beaches, base costs on your likely aus income. After that you may have a more up to date opinion and at least the rest of the family would have something to base their decisons on.

[QUOTE=karter1]I live in the North East of Scotland (born & bred), with my wife, son (nearly 15) and daughter (13). I have a good job as an IT Manager, a very good quality of life, the family are really happy and I have very little to complain about except..... I hate the cold, miserable weather & virtually hibernate for 6 months of the year. Even the summer weather is depressing, apart from the long daylight hours we get here.

Hi Karter.
That could have been written by myself other than the age difference. My wife did not want to go either 4 years ago but she now feels different.
My children are 3 and 5 so that is not a problem and I do not understand the problem you are experiencing with your own children.
Like yourself I have a good life in the U.K but am fed up with the weather, e.g being stuck in for 6 months of the year (being generous at that). Many people think the U.K is a shithole and there are many things I and others don`t like but lets not start another BE rant on that, in the main I like the U.K.
Wherever you go I am convinced that you will soon gripe over the chosen countrys ways.
Like yourself I thought about the process and it would have cost me around £3000 by the end of the year to know if I could get in or not. For me it will be £3K well spent even if I dont go/ get in, at least at 60/70 I will have satisfied my own questions such as what if?. I bet 2 weeks in Spain for 4 costs a total of around £3K so it is f*** all in real terms.
Your life can be turned upside down within 24 hours and I am not talking about some financial upset many deem a disaster- so you go for it and if you don`t go - well you know.

I think that I would plan a long family holiday - next summer (UK), our winter and see what you all think. I would also do all the groundwork for the assessment. If you don't get that you won't be going anywhere easily.

You are going by what you thought over 20 years ago. Perth and all of Aus has changed dramatically in that time.

If you come out on holiday but do loads of work whilst you're here, speaking to agencies, colleges, looking at housing and areas, you might decide it's not for you afterall.

If you all decide you do like it, if you pass the assessment, you can then make a realistic decision.

You will also have to see if people will employ you when you are 50 odd.

Everyone has their reasons for migrating out here, purely because of the weather is probably not the best one I have heard.

A good reply but I disagree with the weather bit. You are right it should not be the only reason to emmigrate the same as the "big" house should not be. The weather is a major factor here for me and has been for years. I am happy go lucky and a positive person but I get positively pissed off through the winter.
I took my 2 boys and 2 nieces bowling yesterday because thats about all you can do when its cold in the U.k and it cost me £40.00 which was only for 2 hours after all. Last weekend my boys were fighting all day on Saturday so I said on Sunday we would go to Willen lake which is fantastic on a nice day, it was freezing and many other parents were there just trying to get the kids out and do their best.
Thw weather affects your life greatly in the U.K for at least 7/8 months of the year and in my opinion that is long enough to make you unhappy and a good enough reason to go.
I have heard about the days in Oz when its too hot to go out but how many months of the year does that add up to - I bet its not 7/8.

The weather is very important to me, I am quite ill in cold weather. But my point was that there didn't seem too much in the way of other reasons for wanting to move abroad from the OP. Or at least none that he mentions.

Everyone on these forums knows I'm big advocate for Australia - but sometimes, when you read posts like this, you need to put all the relocation stuff aside and consider the basic facts as you've presented them.

Your children don't want to go, and you've made no indication that you wish to force them to go. That's your deal-breaker right there. If your kids were on-side then your wife would be on-side and you'd be on the phone to the migration agent. So - if you go you risk breaking up an otherwise happy family, with an excellent quality of life, based on some fond memories you have of Australia from over 20 years ago. We all have dreams, but if pursuing one leads to the break-up of an otherwise happy family, then sometimes they're not worth pursuing.

In the short term there are a couple of things you can do. First - go on holiday to Australia with the whole family (and, pardon my French, but **** the cost). This clears up a couple of things - it lets your family see a little of the country you're asking them to move 12,000 miles round the planet to - and it lets you see if the Perth you remember from '82 is the same as Perth '06 (I suspect not).

If when you get back from checking out Australia it still appeals to you and/or your kids decide it's not actually some Soviet gulag you're wanting to move them to - then your path forward is clear. If not, then you're going to have to consider other options. I've read too many posts on the Moving Back forum to know that these things rarely work out well when one partner isn't keen on the idea. If you work your arse off for the next 10 years or so - build up a nice nest-egg and pay off the mortgage, then there's nothing stopping you retiring there - I suspect that's probably your best bet unless you can get those you love to come round to your way of thinking.

karter1


Hi my friend

In your particular situation there is no easy answer.I can understand all the what if's that are running through your mind.This is a life long dream you've had and its not easy to let go of them,especially when you believe in your heart it would improve the quality of your family's life. So in many ways it would be ashame to not experience living in a warmer climate and having this adventure while you're still relatively young.


You are obviously a good family man to consider the opinions of your wife & children. Many bread winners would simply say we are moving to Australia because dad can provide a better life for the family and we are not taking a vote.I personally think its important to weigh the effects moving would have on the wife especially. If she is on board with the idea then I would find a marketing approach to sell the idea to the kids. Children tend to adjust better than we adults in many situations.They will ultimately fall in love with being able to enjoy the beaches and out door activity once given the chance.


Its scary for most people to move so far away who are settled in to their routine. Might be a good idea to take the whole family on vacation to OZ first, so they all can understand the up sides of moving there. At 45,as long as your wife is on board with your decisions, you must think about those things which are important to you.Your children can not decide your life for you.At some point they will be out the house living their own lifes and you could, or might regret not having gone after your dream.


Compromise is a wonderful concept provided there are acceptable options. If affordable some people in your situation would opt to buy a summer house in OZ,Spain or Florida which could be a great solution .Maybe not exactly what you planned but not a bad investment and certainly would ease the pain of dealing with year long cold weather.


I must say your situation have scared many guys from getting married because they fear losing their right to live where they want.I met the perfect woman in many respects,she had very few down sides except for one. She wanted to live her life in a little town in the middle of no where near her family, and that for me was the deal breaker. You are in a great situation whether you stay put or follow your dream because your wife is on board.Just got to sit the kids down and explain to them how important this dream is to dad and tell them if they want to go back to the UK for university years later you'll support their decision.I'm in my early 40's and know too well that its important to achieve those goals now, that are best enjoyed while age is a factor.

Best of luck

Tell us what you decide











I live in the North East of Scotland (born & bred), with my wife, son (nearly 15) and daughter (13). I have a good job as an IT Manager, a very good quality of life, the family are really happy and I have very little to complain about except..... I hate the cold, miserable weather & virtually hibernate for 6 months of the year. Even the summer weather is depressing, apart from the long daylight hours we get here.

I went to Perth on a 4 month working holiday in early 1982 and wanted to emigrate a few years later but my wife wouldn't consider it. Over the years it's been hard to suppress my "Aussie dream" but it has got easier in recent times. I just had to accept it was not meant to be and realise how lucky we are to have what we've got. However, I am the type who is rarely contented and always looking for "greener grass". Things flared up again when my best friend & his wife returned last December for a visit after emigrating to Perth over a year ago. After hearing how much they love it there, seeing their photos and videos, plus my own recollections of my time there, it got me going again! My friend suggested I call the agent he used to find out what's possible. I did and was told I could get a 139 visa if I got a successful RPL assessment from the ACS.

On New Years Day I discussed with my wife about emigrating after the kids finish secondary education in a few years. To my amazement she said "go for it!" As I am 45 in July and having a RPL to do, I figured it best to use an agent. After lots of research (mainly here on BE) and negotiations I selected an agent. The total cost for our visa application, including meds will be about £3000. However, after discussing with the kids, they both said there was no way they would go to Aus now or in the future. In turn my wife says she wont go if the kids don’t. In addition, I discovered lots of negativity about Australia on BE and I have now taken off the rose tinted glasses. Therefore I decided to abandon my visa plans back in early February but after a week my mood was "down" so I resurrected things again, did more research, soul searching, discussing, etc but the outcome was the same - abandon. Again I couldn't let go and my mood suffered so I have resurrected things again for a final time in the hope that I can make a decision one way or another and be content.

My head is saying don't waste time and money trying to get a visa that, in the current and foreseeable circumstances, will not be used. My heart is saying try and get the visa to give options for the future - the kids might change their minds, I might lose/loath my job or get even more depressed about the weather, etc. Even if we were to emigrate as a family in say 5 years (Perth or Brisbane area), would I get a decent job at 50, would we enjoy life there with less equivalent income, how long before a family member wants to return home and the rest follow? If things remain the same as they are now then is giving up what we've got worth all the stress, upheaval and cost for some extra sunshine, experiences and uncertainty? It's all very well to say "just go for it" but when you are making life changing decisions that affect the whole family because you are the only one that's unsettled, it's very hard!

What would you do? [/QUOTE]

Hats off to Hutch and YankeemovingAbroad, for a couple of bloody good posts.

Vash the Stampede

Hi Vash.Certainly not a easy decision.Hopefully he will think long term.Usually works best.






Hats off to Hutch and YankeemovingAbroad, for a couple of bloody good posts. [/QUOTE]

Nice post but must take issue with that paragraph - what sort of neandethals do you know Can honestly say I can't think of anyone in this day and age who would come out with such a statement to their family, well not if they want to hang on to their wedding tackle anyway

Hi moneypen20

I was referring to the kids being told where to move not the wife.




Nice post but must take issue with that paragraph - what sort of neandethals do you know Can honestly say I can't think of anyone in this day and age who would come out with such a statement to their family, well not if they want to hang on to their wedding tackle anyway [/QUOTE]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to give me your opinions - many valid points. However, just like the U2 song - "I still haven't found what I'm looking for"

KArter1 - just left you a PM

Been thinking about this some more, now that the thread's been bumped up...

Obviously you cannot simply make a decision without taking your family's views into account. You've been to Australia, but it doesn't sound like they have - perhaps fear of the unknown is part of the problem?

Like Hutch, I suggest a reccie trip for the whole family. I know it's a horrendously expensive option, but it might just turn out to be the difference between (a) living in limbo (which you're clearly not enjoying) and (b) settling the matter once and for all.

At the worst, it would just be an expensive holiday, with your wife and kids preferring to remain in the UK; at best, it could be the point at which your wife and kids change their mind and agree to take the plunge Down Under.

Either way, you'd be able to say that you and your family had made a truly informed decision.

Best of luck with it all.