karter1

I live in the North East of Scotland (born & bred), with my wife, son (nearly 15) and daughter (13). I have a good job as an IT Manager, a very good quality of life, the family are really happy and I have very little to complain about except..... I hate the cold, miserable weather & virtually hibernate for 6 months of the year. Even the summer weather is depressing, apart from the long daylight hours we get here.

I went to Perth on a 4 month working holiday in early 1982 and wanted to emigrate a few years later but my wife wouldn't consider it. Over the years it's been hard to suppress my "Aussie dream" but it has got easier in recent times. I just had to accept it was not meant to be and realise how lucky we are to have what we've got. However, I am the type who is rarely contented and always looking for "greener grass". Things flared up again when my best friend & his wife returned last December for a visit after emigrating to Perth over a year ago. After hearing how much they love it there, seeing their photos and videos, plus my own recollections of my time there, it got me going again! My friend suggested I call the agent he used to find out what's possible. I did and was told I could get a 139 visa if I got a successful RPL assessment from the ACS.

On New Years Day I discussed with my wife about emigrating after the kids finish secondary education in a few years. To my amazement she said "go for it!" As I am 45 in July and having a RPL to do, I figured it best to use an agent. After lots of research (mainly here on BE) and negotiations I selected an agent. The total cost for our visa application, including meds will be about £3000. However, after discussing with the kids, they both said there was no way they would go to Aus now or in the future. In turn my wife says she wont go if the kids don’t. In addition, I discovered lots of negativity about Australia on BE and I have now taken off the rose tinted glasses. Therefore I decided to abandon my visa plans back in early February but after a week my mood was "down" so I resurrected things again, did more research, soul searching, discussing, etc but the outcome was the same - abandon. Again I couldn't let go and my mood suffered so I have resurrected things again for a final time in the hope that I can make a decision one way or another and be content.

My head is saying don't waste time and money trying to get a visa that, in the current and foreseeable circumstances, will not be used. My heart is saying try and get the visa to give options for the future - the kids might change their minds, I might lose/loath my job or get even more depressed about the weather, etc. Even if we were to emigrate as a family in say 5 years (Perth or Brisbane area), would I get a decent job at 50, would we enjoy life there with less equivalent income, how long before a family member wants to return home and the rest follow? If things remain the same as they are now then is giving up what we've got worth all the stress, upheaval and cost for some extra sunshine, experiences and uncertainty? It's all very well to say "just go for it" but when you are making life changing decisions that affect the whole family because you are the only one that's unsettled, it's very hard!

What would you do?

mashy

We are in a different situation as we all want to go. Sure we have all gone through our moments of "am I doing the right thing", "what if we don`t like it", "how will the kids settle ok"..... the list goes on. But the one thing that we have both said that we do not want, is, to get years down the line and say " I wish we had done it". Life is too short for "what if`s". Only you and your family can make the decision, but you need to look at how your life will be affected if you just ignore your dreams. Will you feel like you are settling for second best? We have never been to Australia, have no friends or family over there and so are making a HUGE step. Life is there for the taking and the niggling reasons for you wanting to emigrate to Oz will always be there, the question is, can you igore them?

Good luck in your decision.

Sharon x x x

Wendy

What Sharon said Sums it up for us too. Only my 18 year old is staying here, but he's a big lad and very sensible so I have little problem with it. Not to say I won't miss him, but I'm only a phone call away and he has his birth Dad to look out for him

possoms

Crikey mate I really dont know what to say, only that I hope you find a solution.

Dont want to cast more negativity but dont you have to submit your visa application before you are 45?? that is what we were told as my partner is 45. So even if you were to go ahead you would be cutting it fine.

Good luck

kiwichild

This is indeed a hard one but at the kids age they just have to accept what mum and dad say.

I understand the age thing. Personally I'd look at sydney, melbourne (more opportunites) or Auckland NZ (lot more IT demand there and some of it gets you priority points).

maybe the way to go would be to apply for visa (though 3k uk pounds seems a huge rip off)

Try: www.dimia.gov.au
Or www.govt.nz (and look for links)

Keep some assets ie house and bring enough to sustain for a few months to a year. You can always go back to your home that way. Also try to get a sabbatical/leave of absence from work.

Don't cut ties with UK, suspend them is better until you have sussed/sorted things out.

Also check out these sites:

http://jobsearch.gov.au

www.worksite.govt.nz

www.kiwicareers.govt.nz

www.maxcoaching.com.au/employment.html

www.stuff.co.nz

www.workingin.com (has jobs in nz and oz)

Im a bit pissed so i hope i got those addresses right, if not PM me.

You have a lot where you are, just tread cautiously so you don't get to a point where you lose more than you are comfortable with

Hope it all works for you

grahampaula

Follow you heart but don't live to regret any decision you make. We are not here on a practise run and before you know it you could be 10 years further down the line.
My Husband and I talked about this years ago but because my Parents lived so close to us we did not follow it through, I wish we had now as my Parents moved abroad last year and we are still here, in this VERY COLD place.
What ever you decision I would like to wish you and your family all the best for the future.

lor

So even if you were to go ahead you would be cutting it fine.

Good luck [/QUOTE]


There you go possams has said it all!

Quick what are you waiting for? Be like us and worry about it later

Dorothy

Have to agree with the other posters. Talk to your wife about it. When we first looked at leaving Canada, we said we would try it for 5 years. If we were unhappy at the end of our 5 years then we would come back. I'm 43 and hubby is 39. How much longer do we have to do the things that we want to do? Our kids also did not want to go at first, but in time they came around to the idea and now are as excited as we are. (Not to mention that we basically told them that this is how it is. When they are 18 and old enough to decide for themselves then they can come back to Canada if they want.) Work something out with your kids that if they want to go back to UK for uni then they can. They are still young enough that they will adapt to life in Oz and probably will not want to leave.
It is a very big step for anyone to leave their home and family for a new place. I can certainly understand your wife and kids' fear, because we all have gone through the same emotions. The only thing is that if you are going to apply, you best be getting that process started. Once July rolls around it will be too late for skilled emigration.

sparks124

this is my opinion which probably doesn't count for much. i would go hell for leather to get the visa and validate it. by doing so it will give you 5 years to make the final decision. if you don't get the visa you WILL always wonder what if. i know it could be a costly exerciser for something that you never use but do you want to take the chance?
i think you will regret not getting the visa more than if you do get it and never use it.
this is a decision that only you can make but unfortunately you it's not one that you can afford to put off. you could always start the process even if you chose part way throw to put an end to it.

good luck and all the best sparks124.

michellemac

Hello,

With two kids aged 2 and 5 months I can safely say that they don't have any say in our decision to go but having been a teenager myself I also know that what I said I would do with my life at 13 was sure a lot different to what I wanted at 15 and then again at 17 when I finished school! Aside from any doubts on their behalf, is there any particular reason you are going to wait until they finish secondary school before going out? I did all my studies Up to degree level) in Australia and have never had problems getting a job in the UK with my Australian quals.

Have any of your family been to Perth? Might it be an idea to do a recce/holiday over there with the whole family to see what they think about it before they make any decisions. Photos are great but they aren't the best way to give someone an idea of the look and feel of a place. Having friends over there is an even better excuse to get there (and should help bring down costs if they are willing to put you up for at least part of your holiday). If you went in March/April or October/November you'd get a good feel for the place and it would be cheaper to go, flights wise (assuming your kids could get the time off school/didn't have exams etc). Then when you come back you'd have a better idea of whether they want to go or not.

i do think that it's understandable that some people would find a leap like that into the unknown (assuking the rest of the family haven't been) very difficult to make without having been there themselves. I personally would love a leap like that but i can understand why others would find it tough.

Good luck with the dream!

Michelle

HiddenPaw

WHat would I do? Well, I would look at what a life in Perth would offer and see if that matches up to the lifestyle and quality of life that I want. What makes up your quality of life is unique to you - you need to think about what you want aside from warm weather, because warm weather alone is not going to make you and your family happy. However, it may pave the way for doing different things in your life, so look at what you want to achieve. I know it only takes one visit or a photograph or a video to whet your appetite, but you also need to consider if these things are representative of 'real' day-to-day life in Australia. Don't just look at emigrating as gaining sunshine - you will be losing a lot too (and so will your wife and children). Only you can work out if the gains outweigh the losses.

There are economic factors to consider, so you are right to think about your income/outgoings. I know you're only 45 but if you are thinking of going in 5 years , how long then before you then want to retire, and can you afford to be out of the job market for several months as a new migrant?

Good luck anyway - I'm sure you've got much more soul-searching to do!

eddie007

Go for visa, validate with (extended) family holiday and then you have your options open still..

Otherwise you will end up resenting everyone.

SheilaGirl

well, you havent been in Oz since 1982 and i can imagine if you have had the idea, the urge to have a life in Oz since then, its pretty serious stuff .......I realise you have a family to consider but on the other hand its your life as well.......

You say, you have a pretty good life, very little wishes except you are sick of the miserable cold weather..Have you really made up your mind to actually live in Australia or is it just a dream you have?? something you think you want??.......I would say compromise.....Go find out what you want and spend a month or maybe more over there by yourself.........See if after all this time you still want to be part of it; your wife should be able to give you that freedom..........If the answer is yes......another compromise with the kids........come with us until you are old enough to return to Scotland and look after yourself......it would only be for a few years......another couple of years and they are off to uni or at work.......It seems a pity to waste valuable years for kids who wont consider what you want and only what they want.......and who will be independent in a few years......

Because what then ? after they are out of the house and you are left behind with your dream, still living in cold and rainy scotland wishing you would have been brave enough to make the move??

draper5

I love it when there's a post which sums up exactly what I'm thinking, cos it makes you realise that you're not mad/alone/the only confused one, etc!
That's what we've decided - go for it and okay if we never use visa for any reason (Family illness/schooling/job promotions/whatever...) then at least we can't sit there in 10 years when our kids have decided to go off to Oz and say "I wish..." or "What if..."
At the moment we are awaiting TRA response and (if we get that AND Dimia also say Yes) are thinking of keeping house here, renting it outand going for a year/18months so that we can either come back to what we had before or sell up and make it permanent if everyone is happy. We're lucky enough to have the chance to go for a visa (no doubt a huge percentage of the country would love to but for various reasons can't) so we ought to give it a go shouldn't we?!

sparks124

when some one asks a question like the original poster has then you have to be subjective. i know we can all say what we would do, but we are not in the situation with all the facts and what will suit us will not suit someone else. with the original post were there is apprehension with other family members as well as tight time restrictions then everything has to be done to try and please everyone. this is often difficult to achieve, but when the time commitment in this case you have to try and buy as much as possible. you can only do this buy getting the visa enabling them to gain an extra five years before any further commitment one way or the other.
all the best to everyone in a similar situation.