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At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Old Apr 18th 2008, 1:15 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We'd dropped hints to my parents before we had our children that we were possibly going to apply for Oz. So when we finally decided to go for it about 3 years later they weren't overly shocked - although i think it was a case (and still is) - that they wont totally believe it until we've sold our house and booked our flights...I think even our friends feel the same way.
The OH's Mum didnt say too much as her daughter emigrated 17yrs ago to Oz as well - she just told him not to leave it till he was too old!
I told my work after we'd got our visa's - as i wanted to change my working hours to avoid childcare costs (and possibly save more money towards the move)....everyone there was great about it and still are - as a year after getting our visa's we're still here in the UK.

I think the more time people have to become used to the idea the better...
My Mum never really talks about Oz (her way of dealing with the fact that she'll be losing her grandchildren in a way one day i guess) - but at least when we're finally ready to go they cant turn around and say that we never told them from day1 what our plans were...
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 3:32 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

My mum is no longer with us and my father has Alzheimers so I've sort of been let off the hook but, having seen the way they had been when my brothers and sisters left home for foreign climates (Canada, USA & South Africa), I think their reaction would have been make sure there is a spare room for us to visit and do you need a lift to the airport? My own brothers and sisters are very warm to the idea of us going down under. My Oh's family is a different kettle of fish. They seem to spend therir lives constantly meddling around in each others lives. My MIL and SIL live in Germany now with my OH's twin sister living down in the big smoke but I can imagine the uproar when my OH announces she is moving further away. As she has said, we hardly ever see any of our families anyway and the contact we have by phone and e-mail can continue as before. The only difference will be consideration for the time of day/night at the other end of the telephone line. I can see a very frosty response so the shorter time between announcement and departure the better!

Last edited by DickDePilot; Apr 18th 2008 at 3:33 pm. Reason: Missed detail
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 4:36 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

When we were originally thinking about it a few years ago, my mum was pleased for us cause they are intending on migrating to Italy once they retire in a few years. (Although they went to Canada and would prefer that as its closer, but no such luck!) My nan was ok, said she would be sad but its our life and we should do what we thought was right. I dont speak to my dad so that solved that little problem and as for OH's parents, we've had to keep quiet about it all...... We have bought a house with them and are hopefully selling it in the next few months to buy our own, couldnt imagine what it would be like if we had to live together when we tell them!!
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Old Apr 19th 2008, 1:19 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We are awaiting TRA results. I've already told my family and they are very supportive (to be honest Im not sure they believe us)?
OH is telling his lot after TRA results (if positive), but luckily only has one sister here, his parents live in Cyprus so shouldn't be much emotional blackmail there then!
I agree, tell them early, so they can get used to the idea.
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Old Apr 19th 2008, 4:29 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

we moved via work - so once the idea was even suggested at work we dropped it in the conversation - so they wouldnt be shocked if it happened.
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Old Apr 19th 2008, 5:58 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Originally Posted by chasmw View Post
I'd be interested to know at what point in the timeline did others do this? Did you give them lots of time to get used to the idea or leave it until the last minute? I imagine that most people find this the hardest part of the process!!!
We raised it a few months before we went on the reccie/decision trip, as a kind of "we've been thinking about this so it might happen". Then we let everyone know (by phone) as soon as we'd made The Decision, that same night. They have the duration of a visa application to get used to it!

It's easier for us because three or four (depending on decisions) of my wife's brothers and sisters are also moving out to Perth. So it was more a question of telling my family. And we're a bit short on parents... only one left out of four to tell.

Cheers
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Old Apr 19th 2008, 6:07 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Originally Posted by chasmw View Post
Have reached the time when I feel I'm going to have to let my parents / relatives know about the decision we've made to emigrate.....
We've just got back from a holiday in Oz, have had a successful result on the skills assessment and am just about to complete the Visa application.
Am dreading letting everybody know.
I'd be interested to know at what point in the timeline did others do this? Did you give them lots of time to get used to the idea or leave it until the last minute? I imagine that most people find this the hardest part of the process!!!
we told our family before we put our application in...i think to give them time to get used to the idea and also they could share in every process of the application with us and feel they were a part in us carving a better life for ourselves....when it came to us leaving there were the usual tears etc but also happiness because they knew what we had to do to get this better life its all good!
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Old Apr 19th 2008, 11:10 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We are only at the early stages of the Immigration process and have decided that we will only tell OH's Mum when we get our Visa's. His brother's are too interested in "I, ME & MYSELF" to give a toss - so we have no ties really!

My mum passed away when I had my son a few years back and my brother & his wife & kids are supposedly off to Tampa Florida. I know my mum-in-law is going to be very upset and I'm going to miss her so much. As I don't have my own mum to spend time with anymore - I invite Daves mum around about every 2wks for dinner or lunch or afternoon tea etc. She has 1 baby grandson but doesnt really get to see him - so she dotes over my boy and he loves her to bits. Also we are planning to have a baby in the next year - so she'll miss out on the new grand-baby! Shame - I'd love to take her with us to Aussie as she's in her 60's and fit & healthy. I'm lucky she's not the type of M.I.L that butts in and takes over and drives you insane.

But yep I think for us - we are going to wait until we have the VISA's in our hands - so that it is for definite!

I'v Immigrated before from South Africa to UK - took me 2yrs to settle - was very hard - but at the time had PND and had just lost my mum. This time it's planned well in advance and we are in it as a family.

Looking forward to the sunshine and swimming pool in me back garden!

Maz, Dave & Jonny
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Old Apr 20th 2008, 5:14 am
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Vaguely mentioned to everyone that we might go at some point...for a few years or so... and will leave it now til there is a definite plan inc job offer and time frame... Am worried about OH parents, I love his Mum and she is getting on and a bit forgetful... but I think she will be supportive.
My Mum not alive but she would have been the drama queen and made my life miserable...
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Old Apr 21st 2008, 1:11 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Told my mum and dad yesterday, i dont think my dad took in what i was telling him, mum just got upset and asked me not to go.
i have to tell my little boy (6) and his mother this week , my visa ( 457) is here and my new employees want to fly me out asap, i could go on and tell you the long story but of how this as all come about but i think its for another thread. best wishes go out to all who have to go through this time in the emigration process, it dosent get any easier does it.
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Old Apr 21st 2008, 2:48 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Hi, we told our parents right from the start, husbands parents were very supportive. My parents were upset, saying they would never see the children but they packed up and moved to spain. Dad said he couldn't believe i was leaving him "hello" you left me. But every thing is fine now and they have a great life over there, its added years to their life. They know we are doing it for the girls. Infact all family members have been very supportive. I think you should tell them from the start, it is alot easier to come to terms with especially as the process takes so long. Only promblem is every time we see some one they say " av ya heard yet" ahhh!!!!!

just explain the reasons why you are migrating in the first place. I know it must be hard for grandparents but if you never try you will never know and if things don't work out you just come back. Its a small world and what fab hollidays will our familys have.

Julie
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Old Apr 21st 2008, 3:09 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Told mine just before i put the main visa application in -after having passed TRA. It was awful and stayed awful right up until the weekend we left. I wish i had been brave enough to tell her in the early days and given her more time to get used to the idea
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Old Apr 25th 2008, 3:49 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

My mom cried when I told her. She said she was hoping to be able to watch the grandchildren grow up. Made me very sad. She's 71 (72 in June). I'm the only 1 with grandchildren. She understands that we're doing this for them (my children) - so that they will have a better life. It's still hard.

OH will tell his family once he has passed IELTS exam. Should be hearing early May.

It's easier on everyone to say we're going for a year to see how it works out. More security for the children too - we'll rent out the house - so they can come back to the only house they've ever known if things don't work out.

Hopefully the US economy doesn't crash and burn in those 12 months. Although I now realize, financially speaking we'll be taking a hit as the exchange rate has gone against us a full 10 cents since Dec. Which is an excellent argument to sell now!

So hard to know what's best!
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Old Apr 25th 2008, 5:01 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Originally Posted by Burkins View Post
We decided to move in Jan 07, had to wait for Sep 07 before visa application to apply under pathway D as hubbie had 6 years experience then. Pathway D went in Sep 07 looked at other ways and getting there since.

We now have a job/sponosr offer plus another interested party.

I told my parents at the weekend. My dad was ok but my mum just kept saying that she didn't want to see her grandkids once a year.

The in-laws - that's another story!!

The mother in law is a little unstable to say the least so hubbie is waiting until we have a visa and flights booked to limit the amount of phone calls we get with her weeping down the phone.
He told her. Last Saturday MIL was weeping on the phone saying that her world was crumbling and she didn't know what she would do if she couldn't see her grandkids so he told her that he has been offered a job in Oz and we were going. We have had 12 calls and 27 texts to say how we have made her world crumble and she can't go on.

My OH has told her that this has always been his dream and she better not spoil it for him and make it harder than it already is. (that was after the 12 calls and 27 texts where he listened to her and put her mind at rest that she can visit as much as she likes and we will speak everyday on the web cam etc)
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Old Apr 25th 2008, 5:56 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Hi,

I waited until we got a positive TRA assessment first. Told my brother first and he was absolutely gutted, then I told mum she was ok but a little surprised to say the least. Then I had to ring my dad and tell him. He was fine on the phone but then my stepmother phoned to say he had had a complete wobbly saying we were going to the other side of the world. She (bless her) reminded him that as she is an ozzy and actually NZ is further. He actually rang me a couple of days later and he was fine. Now he rings and takes the p*** all the time but it is all good natured. My sister when I eventually told her again was fantastic about it and just asked if they could come and stay.

My OH family are all fine also but his mum bless her is on her own now and concerned that because his dad never say our kids that she will never see them again. Bless her.

Good luck in telling yours, hope all goes well.

Kind regards Lou xxxx
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