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At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Old Apr 17th 2008, 5:52 pm
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Default At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Have reached the time when I feel I'm going to have to let my parents / relatives know about the decision we've made to emigrate.....
We've just got back from a holiday in Oz, have had a successful result on the skills assessment and am just about to complete the Visa application.
Am dreading letting everybody know.
I'd be interested to know at what point in the timeline did others do this? Did you give them lots of time to get used to the idea or leave it until the last minute? I imagine that most people find this the hardest part of the process!!!
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 6:03 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Know exactly what your feeling/thinking....
Not told my family yet, apart from oldest daughter who was great...
Figured i'd wait until we actually put our Visa App in before opening the floodgates...
We're still waiting to hear from ACS, and will be submitting online soon after, my mum's gonna be the hardest one.....not gonna enjoy that....but would rather let her know sooner, rather than later, feels like i'm doing something really awful behind her back, and tho i know she'll be upset, i think she'll give us her blessing and hope we'll be happy....i'm hoping i know my mum well enough to know her reaction!!
How do you think your family will take it??
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 8:15 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We started this process back in March and I told both families then. Not sure if it was the right thing to do or not. My OH's parents are delighted for us and get really excited as we go through the stages. My Dad is the same, but my Mum well thats a different matter. Every now and then the has a wobble, gets drunk and cries. She also keeps telling me she is coming with us . Its quite hard sometimes and very upsetting for us all. BUT! having said that we are going to OZ and she can come and visit and perhaps move there herself.
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 8:24 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We decided to move in Jan 07, had to wait for Sep 07 before visa application to apply under pathway D as hubbie had 6 years experience then. Pathway D went in Sep 07 looked at other ways and getting there since.

We now have a job/sponosr offer plus another interested party.

I told my parents at the weekend. My dad was ok but my mum just kept saying that she didn't want to see her grandkids once a year.

The in-laws - that's another story!!

The mother in law is a little unstable to say the least so hubbie is waiting until we have a visa and flights booked to limit the amount of phone calls we get with her weeping down the phone.
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 8:29 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We told our families when we knew we had been accepted and passed the first part of the process, my mum was very shocked and upset although she has lived in Spain for the last 10 years and i usually only see her 4 times a year. My hubbies parents are a lot older and still have not quiet accepted that he's leaving, they are constantly ringing him and his mum just cries everytime its mentioned, by telling them early on we thought they'd get use to the idea but it seems not.
I suppose telling them at any point is hard and obviously it depends on each individual on how they react and only you can be the judge of when would be a good time.

Good luck and i hope all goes well for you
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 8:31 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

we told all ours right at the very start to give them all plenty of time to get used to the idea . they all seem to have come round to the idea, but we'll see what happens closer to the time eh
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 8:58 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Hi all,

I told my mum right at the beginning before we applied to the TRA. She told me that when we went she was going to 'lay down and die'. Always helpful you know support from your only parent. I think she is coming round a bit now but still keeps giving me digs.

My hubby waited to tell his side of the family until we had passed our skills assessment. His mum keeps says 'oh I hope you are doing the right thing'.

The rest of the family have given us loads of support and think we are doing the right thing.

Jojo xx
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 9:47 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Good luck with telling your family the news, it is hard. My mum always knew I wanted to live in Australia one day so she has been very supportive.

We told my partner's parents after we had applied for the visa so they couldn't change our minds. His mum cried and made me cry, they made me feel really guilty as we have recently had a baby and will be taking her away from them!

We've got to do what is best for our own family though!
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 9:59 pm
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Smile Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

I agree it is a difficult one.... we told my parents of our plans really early on even before our skills were assessed - and they were great (but then they did live there for four years a long time ago!). As for the OH's mother.... well the mention of our interest in it led to a real flip of rage!!! We are now waiting for our medicals to be cleared and have still not ventured to telling her of our real intentions.... I guess we will now wait until we have the visa (hopefully!!) before we start the discussions as we know it will be really difficult (mind not that we see her more than once a year anyway...). I am sure that how/when to tell one person will never be the right way for another person...so Good Luck in how/when you choose to have these discussions!
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:32 am
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

I was so comforted to read that others have had the same reaction as I have. In February we visited Australia and loved it. Two years ago we had to move 50 miles from all our family and friends in order to get the right education for our eldest who is autistic. We now live in a village where every one is related to everyone else and we have made no friends and try as we do to join groups and do our bit for the community we have not been made welcome. We come from a big family, but only our parents have ever visited us here, and most our friends have drifted away. We are all totally miserable here!! Therefore we decided, having thought about it for 15 years, that we should try life in Oz.

We are at the very early stages and are filling in our TRA. Like someone said i didn't want to start the process and feel i was doing it behind my parents back so immediately i told my parents our decision. My OH parents are delighted, my dad hasn't said anything but my mum is really upset and feels i am mad and am not considering my eldest daughters needs, that we'll never visit UK again, that we'll find it too hot......

I'm determined to do my best to get to Oz but why do some parents make you feel so guilty, why can't they just smile and say 'You go for it', even if inside they are upset. If only life was so simple!!

Last edited by chrissy990; Apr 18th 2008 at 9:36 am.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:37 am
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

when we passed the tra
actually we were going to keep quiet until the visa came BUT in hindsight i'm glad we gave them more time to get used to the idea as when the visa came we were off a month later!!!
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:40 am
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

We told the kids and family 12 months prior to us doing our TRA.

Last edited by rocket01; Apr 18th 2008 at 9:55 am.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 9:52 am
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

It wasn't relevant to me but I'd think once you have passed whatever assessment you have to take. No point in stressing them out, possibly unnecessarily and lots of people do get fed up with you (general) talking about Australia.

I think we told most rellies and some friends once I had my visa but it was only me applying for a spouse and it was quick. Left my mother until a while after I'd got the visa, everyone else knew but kept quiet as we all knew what her response would be. She didn't disappoint.
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 12:39 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Hi

I went to Australia back in 1991 on my own at 19 years old, backpacked around and got very drunk When I told my mum I was going she was "Yeah Okay" but only when I bought my plane ticket did she really get upset and didnt talk to me for 3 weeks, until 3 days before I was going.

So This time I'll be taking her gradchildren with me, how long do you think she wont speak to me for???

My Oh's family will be fine although I think the MIL will play the wounded card and go for sympathy, but his sissters won't care really.

The only person who is going to be really upset is my dad, he is going to be really hurt by this and Im not telling my side of the family until I have the visa and a flight date, I couldnt bare to see my dad so upset for months on end, I know its a bit cowadly but it'll hurt me too much.

Unfortunatly for my family my sister is planning to come out too after us, definatly wont be telling them that!!!

You know your own family, when do you think will be the right time??
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Old Apr 18th 2008, 12:45 pm
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Default Re: At what point did you tell your relatives about your decision to emigrate?

Told mine when we put the house on the market... well otherwise they would wonder about the sign in the garden!! That was the first week of December 2007!! We arrived 13th Jan 2008!!!

We hinted to them before, that we had applied were THINKING about it but nothing else..

They were very quiet but ok and have been nothing but positive ever since... both sets really!!
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