Originally Posted by Louiseh86

That's what I thought I really wouldn't want our kids to go into care, even for a day or two.

I think we'll keep my parents as guardians for now, our children are only 20 months and 4 months old so they'd adapt easily and probably would for a few years yet but like you said it would be so traumatic being dragged away from everything you know in Australia to go live in England, doesn't bear thinking about.

Originally Posted by JAJ

And as someone else says, it helps if you have trusted friends in Australia, who even if they can't or don't want to look after the children full time, could do so temporarily and/or act as an advocate for the child.

Usually, car accidents are the reason for both parents to die simultaneously. One way to manage this risk is to travel in different vehicles.

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack

That is precisely why we are a 2 car family - not just to keep up with the Jones's and reduce shoe- leather wear but so that I can tale my wife and children from a safe distance.

Originally Posted by JackTheLad

When I was younger one of my friends and his family always travelled on different flights. He would be on the same flights as his father, and his younger sister with his mother. Although I understood the logic behind the arrangement, I always found it odd. Till then I thought only royalties and heads of states did that sort of thing.

Originally Posted by moneypenny20

It's just not practical most of the time though, is it? I mean you go out for an evening, just the two of you, are you supposed to go in separate cars or taxis? I'm always designated driver because I rarely drink but what's the point of me driving myself and him getting a taxi that needs paying for? You have to live you lives normally, can't go around thinking that at any minute you're going to die and leave the children orphans

Originally Posted by JAJ

If you don't have relatives in the UK whom you could trust with your children then you may decide to instead specify that they should remain in Australia and take the chances with the care system. Doesn't necessarily have to mean a "childrens home" as there may be long term fostering or adoption arrangements available. In other words, perhaps research the care options available in your state before dismissing the option. Discuss with your family law practitioner.

As permanent residents (if they are PR), the children would not be automatically thrown out of the country but it would get complicated if relatives in the UK tried to claim them and you had left nothing to the contrary in writing.

Originally Posted by SunnyMD

Thank you JAJ - It hadn't occurred to me until I read your post, but you are right. I had a brief discussion with my 15 year old about this (we are PR and had our heads in the sand too - no will, nothing written, so bad). He desperately wants to stay here but I think my family would try to "claim" him and take him "back home"

Time to bring in the legals I think

Originally Posted by JAJ

Get everything documented.

Check to see if 16 and 17 year olds have the right in your state/territory to live independently (they do in the UK).

Also, if you don't have good term life insurance - get some immediately. Term life cover, for say 10 years, is not expensive. Would provide an important financial cushion if the worst happened. Again, check if you need to set up a trust, etc, for someone under 18 at the time.

And get your citizenship asap.

Originally Posted by SunnyMD

Unfortunately we can't apply for citizenship until Nov 2011, but the insurance is in place, so it's really just the uncertainty about whether he could stay here or would be sent back to family in the UK we are nervous about - we have no family here and although we have made some good friends, they are all still "new"

We hadn't thought about the independent living though, whilst it's a scary thought, it might buy some time until he goes onto uni to do the student thing

Thanks for the pointers