tofster

Lol !

Poppett44

My MIL took the "lets pretend it wont ever really happen" route now that we are here telephone calls to her are horrendous,, guilt trip after guilt trip,, I just let hubby answer the phone all the time now!!

Coppock

I told my parents I was thinking of going a while back . . .
mum - "you wouldn't deprive me of seeing my grandchildren would you!"
dad - "Must be joking, I ain't doing that long a flight, we obviously mean nothing to you . . . etc etc etc"

I'm not mentioning it again until I've retrained and apply for the visa.

carmil

Oh god, I feel really bad for those of you who have had the guilt trip thrown at you. We told the parents in December that we were thinking about moving, but wouldn't be applying until after the new year. Both sets of paretns have been amazing, well, certainly to our faces, but I'm sure they are going through their own private hell at the thought of us leaving with their grandchildren. They have all been watching the WDU programme for the last 4 weeks and are now really excited for us. As for siblings, they are all equally supportive, in fact BIL is now hinting at going to OZ now too. Our decision to go was really made for us after several sad things happened round about us that made me re-evaluate my life. My OH has always wanted to move abroad and have a different life, me, I would never go and leave my parents. My lovely next door neighbour once said to me "it's better to regret the things in life you've done, than the things you've not done". Sadly he discovered at the end of last year that he has bone cancer. My other neighbour died suddenly at age 55, and my friend's brother aged 32 died from cancer. All this has really made me stop and think about my life and what I'm doing. Leaving family behind will be the hardest thing we've ever had to do, but we only get one chance in this life, and we are going to go for it if we get a visa. I don't want to be 65 and sitting wondering what life could have been like if we'd taken the chance. For anyone who is going through it with their families, we are all here to support each other through the hard times, and we are pretty much all doing this for the same reasons, to offer ourselves and children a different (not necessarily better) life. Good Luck to all of you!

sheli0508

What a fantastic post. My OH and I feel the same. His Mum and her partner has been really supportive. mine - well mine are a different ball game . Guilt plays a large part and if I was being totally honest they are at least 10% of my reason for going... Why can't peaople just think 'good on you!' and wish you all the best. What's the old saying about you can pick your friends...

Anyway, it's lovely to hear about someone that has the support, it's got to make the whole process a bit easier.

Coppock

Karma given.

carmil

It really does make it easier, I feel we can talk about our application, looking at areas, schools etc. We don't feel as if we have to tip-toe about not talking about it. This is such a BIG step to make and my heart goes out to those who are up against their families. It's funny that no matter what age we are we still seek the approval of our parents and siblings. It is life changing, ours and theirs, but ultimately we make our own choices, good or bad, but it does ease the way if people support you. And the people who don't support your move......will be the first to book flights!!

Josie1100

I spent so much time trying to think what reaction we would get when we told both our families of our plans for Oz. Everybody on both sides has been so supportive and feel that this is a special opportunity that we must try. I know that we are so fortunate and I had expected them to react so differently.

It has been a big eye opener to watch a friend emigrate last year and see how hard it is when your family do not support your decisions. We have found quite a few reactions from friends etc who seem to give more a reflexion of their own personal views on if they could/would emigrate themselves rather that what we are doing. Maybe this is some of the reactions that some of the above families have encountered. Also it seems that maybe it brings out quite a bit of jealousy? I am sorry for the people struggling with there families as the move alone is stressful enough!!

stu:0

My parents are ok with me going, setting up my pc up at there house with skype and a webcam and would say i will probably see them more that way than i do now!
Stu

chilli

my mum is not from england
she left her home to get married.
i visited my nan at her home abroad. i was 7 at the time.
as the train pulled out of the station, my mother was frantic to get to the window to wave goodbye to her mother, who was quite old at that time.
my mum thought she would never seen my grandmother alive again..that sight has become my nightmare...
its very easy to do what we want without regard for others.
because they dont see it as we do then they must 'be wrong'..
how people deal with it, the actual behavior, can be irritating but ive no doubt that you leaving will 'upset' them too!

that said, i would leave my mum..

i might be to old now to go to Oz that is down to my wife not wanting to leave her mum.. how ironic. my FIL asked my MIL to go to Nz in 1962/3.. she did not want to leave her mum.... it goes on and on
my mil & fil lived in southern england but decided to go and live in northern england about 2 years ago... not a thought for their favorite daughter (who they knew would visit)

my wife would want to go to Oz now, she has seen' that ultimately people do whatever suits themselves..

it may be to late for me now (still trying and hoping ) but i would hate any of you to feel the desperate feeling it gave me when i was told no!

go while you can. i have first hand experience of the brutality of leaving.. but i would still go..
...........................
ps
my nan
was about 65 at the time. my mum didnt visit for about 5 years after that because the thought of leaving was worse than the reality..
turns out my nan lived to 103 and my mum saw her for 25/30 yrs

eileen35

hi sue,
just asked you on my thread if you had kids, oops sorry.
my eldest is staying behind too ,hes 17. 18 in march. its college,pals and mainly i think g/f thats keeping him here. my parents are letting him live with them too.and i think my mum will feel in a way better. though i know she,ll never be off his back worrying when he goes out etc.
that being one of the main reasons we are leaving due to worry about kids when they are out here.
im leaving him flight money though incase things dont go to plan here for him,that way he can join us if things work out for us.
i think its going to be scary enough leaving the parents,but really dreading leaving my son.
but i do think we have got to give it a go for the sake of my other two kids and for our benefit too.
sue has your family been over yet?
thanx eileen xx

Malcs66

wow!! i didn't expect such a reaction when i started this post. But of course most people are in the same position. Thanks for all your comments and support, we've got off lightly compared to some. Well they are coming around to the idea now, over the initial shock i guess. The more and more people they speak to they realise how many others have done it, yet still see their families. Now we've got to ask them to look after our dog for a few weeks while we go on a reccie, hehe.
Thanks again.
Malcs

tallbloke67

Different position for us. My parents live in perth and my bro in karratha. my wifes parents were very pi55ed off with me 'taking their daughter and grand children' away from them.

Well they never bothered making an effort with their grandchildren. They always refused to babysit and offer much in the way of help.

We fly out in march and they are coming over in december so let's see what happens!

Martin

fin

My husband told his parents the weekend just gone. They were ok with it as it's something they knew would happen one day (with me being Aussie and all) His mum said we have to do what we feel is right for us. I mean they would have been understandably upset (and I hope they don't hate me for taking their son away!!) They said they would visit - although his mums not to keen on the creepy crawlies!!

I've tried to explain time and time again that we have fly screens in our windows in the houses to keep the bugs out!!

Still have to tell his sister, not sure how thats going to go down to be honest, I think she will be quite upset.

daunted

every time i see this thread my heart skips a beat and i feel sick I am dreading having to tell my mum. she didnt speak to me for 3 weeks when i moved 200miles away so i can only imagine what this is going to be like. GUILT GUILT GUILT will all be heading my way in abundance.