teenager problem
Jul 29th 2006, 9:35 am
#31
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: teenager problem
With due respect, anyone without adult teens going through the "culture shock" can hardly understand what it is these young adults are going through. It's all well and good saying ignore the little bastards and get on with your own life but that's just looking at the symptom, not the cause.
It's hardly selfish when your own kid feels so low that they themselves can't make out what the problem is and they tell you they feel suicidal
Does anyone understand that's how low some teenage kids feel?
They don't always know their own minds at their stage in life. How many of us thought we knew it all, but knew sod all...yet wouldn't listen to reason...
Of course they all deal with it differently. Some carry on in alarming ways, whilst others turn inwards. It doesn't matter, regardless this is a cry for help.
It's even more heartbreaking if knowing this, it goes against all that you know of your own child, normally a vivacious, outgoing personality and then all of a sudden a former shell of themselves, totally lost ,with no confidence
Of course there are some kids who are selfish and some parents who let their kids rule their lives, however the majority of parents and teenage adults are in caring relationships where lots of dialogue, lots of support and lots of soul searching is needed. On both sides.
Moving to the other side of the world is daunting for some of these young adults. Some lack the new cultural social skills and confidence to start over again. It's a whole new ball game for them. They can't understand the differences and all they need is someone to help them overcome this, whether that's making the move to Oz or deciding to stay in the UK.
Parents and their adult kids have to learn life is not all roses, and sometimes letting go and finding their own two feet is just another step towards their next phase in life. Adulthood.
It's not easy bringing teenage kids to Aus. It has it's own problems to overcome, alongside everything else you go through.
If it's any consolation it's true what they say. Time is a great healer.
Good luck to all in this boat.
It's hardly selfish when your own kid feels so low that they themselves can't make out what the problem is and they tell you they feel suicidal
Does anyone understand that's how low some teenage kids feel?
They don't always know their own minds at their stage in life. How many of us thought we knew it all, but knew sod all...yet wouldn't listen to reason...
Of course they all deal with it differently. Some carry on in alarming ways, whilst others turn inwards. It doesn't matter, regardless this is a cry for help.
It's even more heartbreaking if knowing this, it goes against all that you know of your own child, normally a vivacious, outgoing personality and then all of a sudden a former shell of themselves, totally lost ,with no confidence
Of course there are some kids who are selfish and some parents who let their kids rule their lives, however the majority of parents and teenage adults are in caring relationships where lots of dialogue, lots of support and lots of soul searching is needed. On both sides.
Moving to the other side of the world is daunting for some of these young adults. Some lack the new cultural social skills and confidence to start over again. It's a whole new ball game for them. They can't understand the differences and all they need is someone to help them overcome this, whether that's making the move to Oz or deciding to stay in the UK.
Parents and their adult kids have to learn life is not all roses, and sometimes letting go and finding their own two feet is just another step towards their next phase in life. Adulthood.
It's not easy bringing teenage kids to Aus. It has it's own problems to overcome, alongside everything else you go through.
If it's any consolation it's true what they say. Time is a great healer.
Good luck to all in this boat.
Jul 29th 2006, 9:52 am
#32
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,158
Re: teenager problem
Phoenix, I am absolutely sure there is genuine distress amongst some teens, many on BE. I have every sympathy for those people having to suffer that, parents and teens.
But it's also obvious that many kids on here, esp referring to srd's posts, that some parents are being totally dictated to by their kids, and in srd's case, she's being abused by her son. Is that a cry for help or is that just a kid enjoying making his mum suffer because he can? At some point, there has to be a line drawn, doesn't there, between what is a cry for help and what's just obnoxious behaviour?
As I said earlier, I don't believe in an autocratic setup within families, and I do believe in being reasonable with kids, because in my experience that's what gets results for both sides.
And I absolutely agree with this, even though I was venting earlier on. 
But it's also obvious that many kids on here, esp referring to srd's posts, that some parents are being totally dictated to by their kids, and in srd's case, she's being abused by her son. Is that a cry for help or is that just a kid enjoying making his mum suffer because he can? At some point, there has to be a line drawn, doesn't there, between what is a cry for help and what's just obnoxious behaviour?
As I said earlier, I don't believe in an autocratic setup within families, and I do believe in being reasonable with kids, because in my experience that's what gets results for both sides.
Moving to the other side of the world is daunting for some of these young adults. Some lack the new cultural social skills and confidence to start over again. It's a whole new ball game for them. They can't understand the differences and all they need is someone to help them overcome this, whether that's making the move to Oz or deciding to stay in the UK.
Parents and their adult kids have to learn life is not all roses, and sometimes letting go and finding their own two feet is just another step towards their next phase in life. Adulthood.
Parents and their adult kids have to learn life is not all roses, and sometimes letting go and finding their own two feet is just another step towards their next phase in life. Adulthood.
Jul 30th 2006, 1:51 am
#33
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: teenager problem
2 doon one to go 
dropped the wee yin off at the station today with her boyfriend.
she left us a lovely letter (stupid arse here burst into tears after reading)
that made us feel as if we have been great parents. im awe chuffed !!!! where that hankie
oh and very good post mate !!!!!
dropped the wee yin off at the station today with her boyfriend.
she left us a lovely letter (stupid arse here burst into tears after reading)
that made us feel as if we have been great parents. im awe chuffed !!!! where that hankie
Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
With due respect, anyone without adult teens going through the "culture shock" can hardly understand what it is these young adults are going through. It's all well and good saying ignore the little bastards and get on with your own life but that's just looking at the symptom, not the cause.
It's hardly selfish when your own kid feels so low that they themselves can't make out what the problem is and they tell you they feel suicidal
Does anyone understand that's how low some teenage kids feel?
They don't always know their own minds at their stage in life. How many of us thought we knew it all, but knew sod all...yet wouldn't listen to reason...
Of course they all deal with it differently. Some carry on in alarming ways, whilst others turn inwards. It doesn't matter, regardless this is a cry for help.
It's even more heartbreaking if knowing this, it goes against all that you know of your own child, normally a vivacious, outgoing personality and then all of a sudden a former shell of themselves, totally lost ,with no confidence
Of course there are some kids who are selfish and some parents who let their kids rule their lives, however the majority of parents and teenage adults are in caring relationships where lots of dialogue, lots of support and lots of soul searching is needed. On both sides.
Moving to the other side of the world is daunting for some of these young adults. Some lack the new cultural social skills and confidence to start over again. It's a whole new ball game for them. They can't understand the differences and all they need is someone to help them overcome this, whether that's making the move to Oz or deciding to stay in the UK.
Parents and their adult kids have to learn life is not all roses, and sometimes letting go and finding their own two feet is just another step towards their next phase in life. Adulthood.
It's not easy bringing teenage kids to Aus. It has it's own problems to overcome, alongside everything else you go through.
If it's any consolation it's true what they say. Time is a great healer.
Good luck to all in this boat.
It's hardly selfish when your own kid feels so low that they themselves can't make out what the problem is and they tell you they feel suicidal
Does anyone understand that's how low some teenage kids feel?
They don't always know their own minds at their stage in life. How many of us thought we knew it all, but knew sod all...yet wouldn't listen to reason...
Of course they all deal with it differently. Some carry on in alarming ways, whilst others turn inwards. It doesn't matter, regardless this is a cry for help.
It's even more heartbreaking if knowing this, it goes against all that you know of your own child, normally a vivacious, outgoing personality and then all of a sudden a former shell of themselves, totally lost ,with no confidence
Of course there are some kids who are selfish and some parents who let their kids rule their lives, however the majority of parents and teenage adults are in caring relationships where lots of dialogue, lots of support and lots of soul searching is needed. On both sides.
Moving to the other side of the world is daunting for some of these young adults. Some lack the new cultural social skills and confidence to start over again. It's a whole new ball game for them. They can't understand the differences and all they need is someone to help them overcome this, whether that's making the move to Oz or deciding to stay in the UK.
Parents and their adult kids have to learn life is not all roses, and sometimes letting go and finding their own two feet is just another step towards their next phase in life. Adulthood.
It's not easy bringing teenage kids to Aus. It has it's own problems to overcome, alongside everything else you go through.
If it's any consolation it's true what they say. Time is a great healer.
Good luck to all in this boat.
Jul 30th 2006, 2:47 am
#34
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: teenager problem
Originally Posted by soapy
2 doon one to go
dropped the wee yin off at the station today with her boyfriend.
she left us a lovely letter (stupid arse here burst into tears after reading)
that made us feel as if we have been great parents. im awe chuffed !!!! where that hankie
oh and very good post mate !!!!!
dropped the wee yin off at the station today with her boyfriend.
she left us a lovely letter (stupid arse here burst into tears after reading)
that made us feel as if we have been great parents. im awe chuffed !!!! where that hankie
oh and very good post mate !!!!!
They can be great sometimes can't they. Obviously they can be right sods too, but hey, that's human nature 
Jul 30th 2006, 2:58 am
#35
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: teenager problem
Originally Posted by soapy
2 doon one to go
dropped the wee yin off at the station today with her boyfriend.
she left us a lovely letter (stupid arse here burst into tears after reading)
that made us feel as if we have been great parents. im awe chuffed !!!! where that hankie
oh and very good post mate !!!!!
dropped the wee yin off at the station today with her boyfriend.
she left us a lovely letter (stupid arse here burst into tears after reading)
that made us feel as if we have been great parents. im awe chuffed !!!! where that hankie
oh and very good post mate !!!!!
See....that's what being a good parent is all about.
You helped your kids find all the options, told them you loved em but explained you still have your own life to lead, and they have theirs.... then you let them choose which option, with your blessing.
Your a good man Soaps. And your kids are the same
Wherever in the world we live and wherever in the world our kids live, we will allus be their parents ........and they will allus be our kids.
Keep yer chin up wee man. She'll be right
Jobs a good un
Last edited by phoenixinoz; Jul 30th 2006 at 3:02 am.
Jul 30th 2006, 2:58 am
#36
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: teenager problem
Originally Posted by moneypen20
That's when you know you've done a pretty good job They can be great sometimes can't they. Obviously they can be right sods too, but hey, that's human nature
They can be great sometimes can't they. Obviously they can be right sods too, but hey, that's human nature 
