change the record kong,if u don't like australia fine just stay out of the australia forum and make everyone happy

Hi Caro

Thanks for the kind words. I think your relationship does change but the best thing you can do is to be honest with each other and keep talking. That's actually more difficult than it sounds because there are many more pressures. I desperately wanted to like everything about Australia because I wanted to support my partner and be there for her. But the truth is you're just not going to like everything and somethings are really going to p*@s you off. And it really is best if you can talk about those things without one side thinking "what am I doing here?" and the other side thinking "I shouldn't have brought him/her here?" That's kind of tough to do but it really helps if you're open and honest from the start.

This is a really good point. My partner was away from home for 4 years and it has taken her a long time to adjust to the changes in her absence. It added to the pressure because my partner felt just as unsettled as I did at a time when I was looking to rely on her for support. I think it's just one of those things that you have to work out, but again, being honest and open really helps.

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for sending a reply. Really appreciated the comments and it makes a big difference knowing that other people are going through the same sort of stuff. Hope all works out and that you keep on trucking.

M

Hang on a minute. He was answering a valid point made by Finsby. There were no racist comments contained in it as far as I could see (previous thread now deleted) and he was just making a point of how you find yourself making polite comments even if you don't like it just to keep the peace.

I am looking forward to going to Oz myself, but this doesn't mean that I don't read and take on board any comments not favourable to Oz. He is entitled to his opinion just as we are. He didn't like it he came home, fair enough.

I don't know why people insist on slating people just because they don't like what they've said about Oz, I could understand if it was offensive which it wasn't.

[QUOTE=eatstatic][QUOTE=finsbury.I also found that there is also a tacit pressure to like everything because you’re constantly asked, “well what do you think of Australia?� which really means isn’t Australia better than England.

I recall being so sick of this. The Aussies just want you be be a good little pommie migrant and come out with the usual. I love it here, its beautiful, the weathers great, you Aussies are super friendly, the UK is a dump, cold polluted and expensive. I just used to say "Its OK, allright", just allright, they would say looking shocked!
I was being polite what I meant to say was "Australia is OK for a holiday, but to live? No thanks its a boring suburban backwater, the people are narrow minded and racist and I do not fancy a lifetime of BBQs and beaches. I am only 30 and do not think that I need to live in the old folks home that is Australia yet, thank you very much.[/QUOTE]

You say OZ is OK for a holiday but not to live, am l wrong but did you not say on one of you pevious posts that you would like to retire on the Gold Coast. Most people would love to live in the places they holiday at.
As for being a boring suburban backwater, don't most people in the UK live in suburbs many of which are just as boring as many OZ suburbs. If you immigrate to OZ you don't have to live in a suburb many people live on a small acreage near a capital city which is too expensive for many in the UK,
or you can live in an apartment in a city center. As for being racist, there is racism in every country, What about the BNP and racist brainless soccer hooligans in the UK and that black kid Stepen Lawrence stabbed to death by white thugs. l have never heard anyone describe OZ as a retirement village, but l guess a boring person like you would find every country boring.

Not to you. Seems that only those of his own ilk would have social intercourse with him.

But thats his opinion. I obviously don't agree with it otherwise I wouldn't be going, that doesn't make me the same has him. I actually don't know what its like to live in Australlia, I have only visited so far. So at the moment my vision is open. I hope it will be what I dream it to be, otherwise there would be no point in going. He has obviously posted elsewhere and offended people, I have not read those. I just don't think what he said was that bad.

Just a "it's completely empty, and I'm full" type.

Living is the same as most decent places. I don't think it is much different from the UK by and large. I do think some emigrate when they may have been better off just having a longish "time-out" holiday - say 6 months.

I've just searched under eatstatic and it would appear that he does say things to cause a stir. I was just giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Also Finsbury I never said what a good insight your thread was. I am really scared of missing family and friends. It was bad enough when I moved 100 miles away let alone 12500 miles.

Hi finsbury

Thanks for sharing your ups and downs (still can't convince me about the spiders though.....!).

D D

Oh my God, that is so TRUE! Are you me?lol!

Great post OP. It really reflects well the emotional complexities and challenges of moving to a new country. Sometimes these are insurmountable and that is a reality. Unfortunately there are some posters who have say little except "Get over it", "So why did you come here", "Australia is the best country in the world according to Australians who have never been outside of Australia", etc. It reflects a strangely endearing "She'll be right" Australianism, which actually means it probably won't but let's not think about it. Such replies have never been helpful to me as a British Ex-pat reading British expats dot com. Oddly, many of these posters are neither: a) British, nor b) Ex-pats. When asked, some have never been to Britain or Europe, and yet have plenty of views on life in both! It's hillarious. But then again they have 358,494,428,484,295,292,484 posts on here so obviously have a very active life out and about in Australia... In my opinion, the most insightful and valid comments come from ex-pats (not necessarily British, but it helps if the reader is British). OP is one of them.

Well said. Hey, I didn't come here kicking and screaming even though I had not much choice (I was 16). I was optimistic and excited and hopeful. I was sad to be leaving my friends (many of whom I am still friends with) but had the strange idea I'd make lots more. I didn't, mainly because the Australian friendliness doesn't seem to extend beyond "G'day mate, how you doing?" into anything like actually wanting to get to know you. I did and have done everything I could possibly think of (short of getting a complete personality transplant) to make it work. It hasn't. I'm entitled to say so, and considering that I've been here fourteen years, can't stand it yet can't even begin to afford to go back, I think I'm entitled to complain about it. Hey, give me an actual life in this place I wouldn't be complaining. But there doesn't seem to be any vacancies.