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sad sad situation

sad sad situation

Old May 19th 2011, 5:50 am
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Unhappy sad sad situation

Me and my husband have separated and I am absolutely devastated beyond belief, we came to wonderful Brisbane 5 years ago with the love for live and to life the dream.

We have a beautiful little boy, we all love Brisbane but I am now in a real dilemma whether me and my boy should to head back to the England, husband has said that he will stay in Brisbane and see how he goes without our boy initially.

I have some really really wonderful friends here in Brissy but dont know if that is enough to stay, everyone has their own lives to lead and although they have been really fab with me in recent weeks I don't know whether I will become a burden. I also have a great job and my son loves his daycare.

Decisions decisions, I have never been good at them and this is a huge one and I am really frightened I make the wrong one

Life is so cruel sometimes wish things were different
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Old May 19th 2011, 5:59 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Relax, relax. No decision is the wrong one, or the right one.

Each decision just opens different opportunities.

Please don’t stress out on it.



Originally Posted by yorkshiretobrisbane View Post
Me and my husband have separated and I am absolutely devastated beyond belief, we came to wonderful Brisbane 5 years ago with the love for live and to life the dream.

We have a beautiful little boy, we all love Brisbane but I am now in a real dilemma whether me and my boy should to head back to the England, husband has said that he will stay in Brisbane and see how he goes without our boy initially.

I have some really really wonderful friends here in Brissy but dont know if that is enough to stay, everyone has their own lives to lead and although they have been really fab with me in recent weeks I don't know whether I will become a burden. I also have a great job and my son loves his daycare.

Decisions decisions, I have never been good at them and this is a huge one and I am really frightened I make the wrong one

Life is so cruel sometimes wish things were different
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Old May 19th 2011, 6:14 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Sounds like you & your son are pretty settled here.....why not hang in there and see how you get on......would also mean that your son can have contact with his father.
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Old May 19th 2011, 6:27 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Gosh I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I've been through it and it is hard.

Just remember that you don't have to make any decisions right away so take your time to get used to your new circumstances and to take advice. You will be re-thinking your future in terms of your son and yourself and this takes the mind a bit of time to adjust to. Once you have had a chance to think through your own needs and your son's you will find it easier to come to a decision.

Take care my dear.

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Old May 19th 2011, 6:43 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Sorry to hear that.

Just remember that that there is no such thing as a right decision, just different avenues that present themselves.
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Old May 19th 2011, 8:03 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Originally Posted by mvagusta View Post
Sorry to hear that.

Just remember that that there is no such thing as a right decision, just different avenues that present themselves.
Well hopefully you will stay and both you and your husband can find a way to make the split work so that your son is not impacted by it too negatively. Interesting that you mentioned that husband was happy to try and stay here and not see him for a while, might have got lost in translation but that doesn't sound too committed a dad to me.
As an absent parent from my first marriage, my ex and I made it work so that our daughters never saw us arguing, we fully supported each other in our decisions with the girls, we didn't back stab each other in their presence and basically we were just very mature about it and realized that, although our time was over, we were both still parents and both loved them very much. There was never any issues over access, visits, child support, it was all done sensibly and jointly decided between us. We stayed good friends which helped and I think we have been lucky in that respect as I have seen and heard some horror stories from some break ups, from both genders. Put the kids first, not your pride!
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Old May 19th 2011, 8:24 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

This is not uncommon with folk coming out here. Always very sad to hear though and there is no easy way to deal with what you must be going through.

Your positives though are having friends who will hopefully offer you the support you require.

I would make no rash decisions on what action to take,just allow a bit of time to pass and the emotions to perhaps become a little less raw.

What would life be like if you did decide to return? How will it be in Brisbane?

With a bit of time it may become clear what the best move would be.
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Old May 19th 2011, 8:46 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Very sorry to hear that.

To be honest I would take some time (a lot of it) to think about your next step, if any. If you're self sufficient (which it sounds like you are), then don't rush anything. As others have said already.

Do you have Oz citizenship yet? (In case you ever wanted to come back to Oz if you did move back to the UK)

Do you have any compelling reason to move back to the UK if you like it here in Oz?

All the best.
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Old May 19th 2011, 8:51 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Sorry to hear that. I don't have any advice particularly other than to say don't make any snap decisions. Take a few deep breaths and take time to think about what you do next. Good luck.
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Old May 19th 2011, 9:00 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Sympathies...guess it all boils down to financial survival if staying..good luck.
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Old May 19th 2011, 9:27 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Yes we have citizenship, and financially should to be ok.

Just miss parents soooo much and always have but being a little family made the people sickness easier...



Originally Posted by Alfresco View Post
Very sorry to hear that.

To be honest I would take some time (a lot of it) to think about your next step, if any. If you're self sufficient (which it sounds like you are), then don't rush anything. As others have said already.

Do you have Oz citizenship yet? (In case you ever wanted to come back to Oz if you did move back to the UK)

Do you have any compelling reason to move back to the UK if you like it here in Oz?

All the best.
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Old May 19th 2011, 10:08 am
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Default Re: sad sad situation

Originally Posted by yorkshiretobrisbane View Post
Yes we have citizenship, and financially should to be ok.

Just miss parents soooo much and always have but being a little family made the people sickness easier...
Then I'd plan a look-see visit to the UK to visit parents, but not immediately. I would think through a lot of things first. Then decide from there. (just saying what I would do)
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Old May 19th 2011, 12:56 pm
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Default Re: sad sad situation

wherever you were, i think you may find yourself a bit alone and adrift at the moment - its a huge life upheaval.

at the end of every difficult time though comes calm. I also wouldnt rush into anything now except trying to look after you - so you can look after your little boy and be there for him and be strong and help him to have a father and mother in his life who love him.

I am not saying dont go to britain - only you can decide whats best but try not to let him absorb your upset and to look up and see only love around him

good luck
viv
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Old May 19th 2011, 1:37 pm
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Default Re: sad sad situation

So sorry to hear of your situation - don't know you but just wanted to wish you all the very best to you and your family in this horrendous situation you find yourselves in. How gutted you feel.

Can't advise you, been through it, albeit different circumstances, but my friends and family were my rock and without them I really don't know where I would have ended up. As well as thinking of everyone else, you have to consider yourself and your happiness. Don't make any rash decisions, just take time to consider your future, and ultimately where you would like to be, and hopefully you can make plans to build a future where you and your son will be happy.

Good luck
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Old May 19th 2011, 11:12 pm
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Default Re: sad sad situation

I have actually just returned from a fortnight 'home' in England. Was so lovely to see mum and dad but it wasn't reality and they were looking after me and my son - I cannot imagine living on my own I don't like been in the house alone - I am am been really pathetic and just cannot come to terms with this rubbish situation...

Wish England wasn't so bloody far away.

So worried about our future

Thanks for all your views, it helps me think more rationally

Originally Posted by Alfresco View Post
Then I'd plan a look-see visit to the UK to visit parents, but not immediately. I would think through a lot of things first. Then decide from there. (just saying what I would do)
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