Dorothy

Be 100% honest when you answer...How many immigrant FRIENDS did you have in UK? Not acquaintences, but real friends. Then ask yourself why you would expect the Australians to be any different.

BadgeIsBack

All depends!

We are the complete opposite, only really know Australians and love them for who they are and the experiences. We don't really know Bogan Aussies or Poms.

I can quite understand why and how other migrants can get into trouble in this area though.

busterboy

I'm the same. I hardly know any Brits that I see anyway regularly.

sonlymewalter

There's good and bad in every culture. Aussies in the main say it as they see it without intention to maim or injure

If as a Pom you can't take it then stay in a safe place - UK. Otherwise come to Aus, fit in, give as much as you get - and you might find you' might love it!

quoll

In very general terms no, dont feel that I belong, never have and not for want of trying. Most people who meet me wouldnt realize that I wasnt Australian - the accent went very early on.

I was very conscious not to be a Pom when I got here - it wasnt encouraged back in the 70s, it was pre PC multiculturalism and the expectation was that you got here and you were Australian, dont hang on to the stuff of your homeland. I initially lived in a complex which was jokingly called the League of Nations because we were student families from every corner of the world. They all went home - lucky devils - but because my OH was an Aussie we just sort of drifted into staying here.

I worked for 25 years in a people oriented occupation, I volunteered, joined interest based clubs, encouraged my kids to participate and generally got involved with the community. Still dont feel that I belong here - I have a few friends who were mainly work colleagues who survived the move into friend category when I retired. When I look at them, most happen to be long term expats like myself. I number very few born and bred Aussies in my contacts book (I run a mile from some of my ex work colleagues!). I know that one isnt allowed to generalize to the detriment of Australians here but in general I have found them to be egocentric, selfish and not a little bullying - of course there are always going to be exceptions to the rule but I havent liked the general impression that I have got.

I still have friends in UK - close friends - that I can lapse straight into the conversation we were having last time we got together year/s ago. It may be because they were friendships formed with a common experience in those early years of adult independence but some are friends from when we lived in PNG - expats together in a small community.

Even my very dear husband shows some of the signs of typical self centred Aussieness - my sister in law agrees that all the men in that family do and I am ashamed to say that at least one of my sons does as well - the other has headed back to UK where he displays a much stronger sense of social responsibility and reciprocity than does his brother.

For all that the Aussie mateship mantra is bandied about willy nilly I really dont see it, there is a lot of lip service paid to it but the bottom line for many seems to be - mateship and what do I get out of it.

The Crow

That I agree with - I'm amazed I found a husband

From a pompous Melbournian

BadgeIsBack

I find some of the more selfish Australians I meet (at work but not in my division as our division attracts self-confessed intellectuals! now there's a thing) remind me of some of the people you find living on the edges of London. Lots of money, sort of successful but not very enlightened. Areas like Essex and some tiny parts of SW London spring to mind.

I see it as a work and get ahead thing and can't in some ways knock it. At the end of the day we're not all enlightened and when you move overseas to a place many will end up in anywhere suburb and then the problems can really set in.

I find Pom migrants a funny breed too. Most I have met fall into sort of vague categories which I can sort of identify here:

The ones I identify with the most are very self-reliant, switched on - have often worked overseas before. They would never dream of comparing or knocking Australians - they are too busy getting on with life. Often have a knack or a fair bit of savvy. Good diplomats, capable, can relate to a variety of people. Nothing is too hard for them. I give you old Buzzy Bee himself.

The others are what I call Little Englanders. Want a big house and accessories (never mind the politics) and that might and will do for many. The more individual ones tire of it and wish they were back in their centrally-heated, 3 bed semis with floating floors and DVD pine cabinets in Greater Manchester. Yes I have a pine DVD cabinet but I made it myself.

The final category are unfortunately what I call the ''social hand grenades''. There is one woman starting in the office now. The ones who really DO moan, and frankly do nothing for the old joke and stereotype Australians occasionally like to rib us about. Often a bit negative (they don't even realise it) who get people's backs up. Might be in a half-decent job, but you wonder how, or could still be productive and capable. Often you can't work out what is missing - they seem to lack tact, sagacity etc.These are the people who probably criticise Australians the most but themselves are bashed or tolerated as much by everyone else. Best avoided!

NKSK version 2

I don't have anything against Australians - the ones I work with are excellent people. It just happens that I haven't managed to create friendships with any.

I was talking about this with a British guy at work who's been here for 15 years. I tend to agree with him - we just have different outlooks on life and different interests.

Can't abide the "Australians-are-God" sentiments coming out in some of these posts though! Ï suppose you'd expect that in the Utopia that is Australia though!

Margaret3

[QUOTE=kiwi_child;6439885]I

Friends in my book have an interest in you and your relationship with each other and may catch up socially weekly. fortnightly or monthly; not every 2, 3 or 6 months.



Totally disagree, inmho you have fair weathered friends (who come and go and are friends for a short time, due to circumstance or summit), and real friends who you hardly see , due to circumstance or summit, but you can knock on their door and they welcome and speak to you like they saw you yesterday.

Hutch

Yep - I'd agree with that. I had a good friend come over to visit us last year who I hadn't seen in nearly 20 years, but it was like we'd only been apart for a week. Some people you just click with - and it doesn't matter how much time passes between visits, you'll still click with 'em no matter what.

jond

[QUOTE=BadgeIsBack;6440844]I find some of the more selfish Australians I meet (at work but not in my division as our division attracts self-confessed intellectuals! now there's a thing) remind me of some of the people you find living on the edges of London. Lots of money, sort of successful but not very enlightened. Areas like Essex and some tiny parts of SW London spring to mind.



Hi Badge so where do I fit in?

A self reliant Essex boy who can mix with anybody, have been all around the World and is probably as qualified and intellectual as yourself?

I don't rely on anyone but my Family and can sort out most problems myself.

It is just that I find the average aussie to be quite nice but very shallow and very boring. By the way I don't think it has anything to do with where we live.

I have a lot of aussie mates, but no aussie friends.

John

Salma

The same problem many immigrants have when they arrive in the UK (please do not say we are different etc)

Immigrants stick with immigrants it seems world over this pattern can be seen.

About Aussies thinking they are right tell me my husband comes across like that at times and it really annoys me!

Vash the Stampede

Maybe they will, maybe they won't. It depends on who you mix with and how you choose to mix with them.

I'm an Australian with close Pommy friends who've been in the country for more than 20 years and still have their accents. My own grandfather was a Pom, and so was my father. Both of them had no difficulty establishing a wide circle of friends and a smaller circle of truly intimate "close" friends, just like anyone else.

I've spent nearly 5 years in the UK and have made plenty of friends here. Most of those are general friends, but quite a few of them are genuinely "close" friends.

Aussies do have close friends; you just have to remember that you've come from a country in which you had friendships which had developed over many years (possibly 10 years+) and you can't replace that in just three or four years Down Under.

cazzamia

My sentiments exactly. A lot of people expect to be welcomed with open arms just because we British are 'something special' - I mean, we aren't immigrants in the sense of the word, are we? Many a time I have read on this forum how people want to leave the UK because of all the immigrants coming in and stealing all the good jobs (yeah right, I always wanted to work in a chicken factory.) I know it isn't as clear cut as that - there are issues as so many are coming over at once - but in general I hold no grudge against immigrants coming to the UK as they come here wanting the same thing that myself and my husband want in our quest to reach Oz - a better life for themselves and their family. This means that when and if we do get to Oz, we may have to accept that some people will view us in a negative light.

I lived in Germany for 10 years and absolutely loved it. Yeah, the Germans have their weird ways - just as we Brits do - but there is a lot we can learn from the German way of doing things. We made a lot of good friends there and half the battle was won by simply learning the lingo and immersing ourselves into their way of life and culture. No great achievement, just something you need to do if you want to succeed in having a happy life in a foreign country. Surprisingly enough, I found the German's as a whole to be a lot more tolerant towards their immigrants than us Brits....

As others have said - we need to adapt to Oz - not the other way round.

Carol

Vash the Stampede

Exactly.

The key to it all is integration. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". It's something I hear often in the UK, but usually in reference to people entering the country (not leaving it).

I've had to integrate into UK society just to get along with the people and get ahead in employment. I expect the same of anyone who moves to my country.

Poms complain a lot about immigrants who refuse to integrate when they come to the UK - and rightly so! But are they remembering to do the same when they become immigrants themselves?