Is it normal to feel this negative?
May 7th 2004, 2:38 pm
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 24
Is it normal to feel this negative?
HI all,
could do with some advise-me, my husband and 4 kids are supposed to be going to Oz in July on temp visa with view to perm. As husband is going employer sponser it Is all going through very quickly we only applied to the job in march. we have a very good life here with nice house in the country, good mates and husband has good job- he will be going to a more stressful job with longer hours in OZ. We have always dreamt about going to live in Australia since we lived there for a year 15 years ago and never thoght we could as hubbie is a GP and they were not recruiting but now that its within reach we are having huge doubts - is this just part of the process , we're dithering from do we go /don't we - extremely srtessful - it would be easier to say we are not and the stress would stop, most people on here seen so up beat about going.
Do you think its a case of being careful what you wish for or it may come true. so confused can't even remember why I wanted to go now.
A ny advise or opinions gratefully recieved
could do with some advise-me, my husband and 4 kids are supposed to be going to Oz in July on temp visa with view to perm. As husband is going employer sponser it Is all going through very quickly we only applied to the job in march. we have a very good life here with nice house in the country, good mates and husband has good job- he will be going to a more stressful job with longer hours in OZ. We have always dreamt about going to live in Australia since we lived there for a year 15 years ago and never thoght we could as hubbie is a GP and they were not recruiting but now that its within reach we are having huge doubts - is this just part of the process , we're dithering from do we go /don't we - extremely srtessful - it would be easier to say we are not and the stress would stop, most people on here seen so up beat about going.
Do you think its a case of being careful what you wish for or it may come true. so confused can't even remember why I wanted to go now.
A ny advise or opinions gratefully recieved
May 7th 2004, 2:43 pm
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Mandurah WA
Posts: 1,395
Every emotion possible comes out when you go through this process.
Its amazing how things slot into place when you get here.
You then tend to forget how awful it all was.
Good Luck with your move, if you go through with it.
Whisky
Its amazing how things slot into place when you get here.
You then tend to forget how awful it all was.
Good Luck with your move, if you go through with it.
Whisky
May 7th 2004, 3:30 pm
#3
Wannabee Queenslander
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Utrecht, The Netherlands
Posts: 1,638
Originally posted by whisky
Every emotion possible comes out when you go through this process.
Its amazing how things slot into place when you get here.
You then tend to forget how awful it all was.
Good Luck with your move, if you go through with it.
Whisky
Every emotion possible comes out when you go through this process.
Its amazing how things slot into place when you get here.
You then tend to forget how awful it all was.
Good Luck with your move, if you go through with it.
Whisky
Hey its all worth when you are there....
May 7th 2004, 4:03 pm
#4
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: North Lakes/Mango Hill, Brisbane
Posts: 1,134
You go from complete highs to real downers through the whole process (it is an emotional rollercoaster extrordinaire)
You are not alone - we have had our visas a month now and are hoping to go at the end of August. There will always be the little bit of doubt in your mind but what you have to think is what you will think in years to come if you don't give it a try.
Go for it
You are not alone - we have had our visas a month now and are hoping to go at the end of August. There will always be the little bit of doubt in your mind but what you have to think is what you will think in years to come if you don't give it a try.
Go for it
May 7th 2004, 4:29 pm
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: in adelaide and loving it
Posts: 1,086
if anyone can remeber i had a huge wobble about this a process a couple of months ago
it is quite normal to feel like this leading up to everything
you will go through the whole range of emotions before this process is over
arlene
it is quite normal to feel like this leading up to everything
you will go through the whole range of emotions before this process is over
arlene
May 7th 2004, 4:47 pm
#6
Guest
Posts: n/a
Just come out of a HUGH wobble too and it is normal, BUT and this is a big but and I can't believe I am saying this - Grayling would be proud !
:
Do seriously look at what you have in the UK and what you would gain in Oz, we did a thread about this a while back. If it's all about beaches and outdoor life then that might not be enough.
Make a serious list of why you want to go and weigh that up with what you have in the Uk.
I won't go into all our reasons, 'cos I have already bored this lot silly with them, but they have to be solid reasons. We have alot of family out there and are able to live morgage free, which means that we will spend more time together than we do in the Uk and for us that is a big reason. Mr Banana works away and it isn't fun. We also want an adventure and I fully expect that Oz will not be our final resting place, as our daughter may need more opportunity when she is older and so we'll go off again!!:scared:
Go with your eyes wide open
There will be many peeks and dips before you get there. For us the waiting felt an age, gave me too much time to think !!
This site has talked me through endless traumas, but I'm really getting ready now for the big adventure, I can feel an offer coming on the house any day now.
The very best of luck and keep on here and we'll keep you right (or do yer 'ead in )
Jill
Perth Sept 2004
:Do seriously look at what you have in the UK and what you would gain in Oz, we did a thread about this a while back. If it's all about beaches and outdoor life then that might not be enough.
Make a serious list of why you want to go and weigh that up with what you have in the Uk.
I won't go into all our reasons, 'cos I have already bored this lot silly with them, but they have to be solid reasons. We have alot of family out there and are able to live morgage free, which means that we will spend more time together than we do in the Uk and for us that is a big reason. Mr Banana works away and it isn't fun. We also want an adventure and I fully expect that Oz will not be our final resting place, as our daughter may need more opportunity when she is older and so we'll go off again!!:scared:
Go with your eyes wide open
There will be many peeks and dips before you get there. For us the waiting felt an age, gave me too much time to think !!This site has talked me through endless traumas, but I'm really getting ready now for the big adventure, I can feel an offer coming on the house any day now.
The very best of luck and keep on here and we'll keep you right (or do yer 'ead in
)Jill
Perth Sept 2004
May 7th 2004, 5:09 pm
#7
Banned
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,613
The wobbles are normal and may often be well-founded.
My advice would be: don't burn your bridges (eg it's easy enough to rent out your UK home rather than sell it) if you are less than 100% sure you want to spend the next (say) 5-10 years in Aus.
Keep your options open.
View the stint abroad as a test, a 3 year contract, suck it and see time.
My advice would be: don't burn your bridges (eg it's easy enough to rent out your UK home rather than sell it) if you are less than 100% sure you want to spend the next (say) 5-10 years in Aus.
Keep your options open.
View the stint abroad as a test, a 3 year contract, suck it and see time.
May 7th 2004, 8:11 pm
#8
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 123
We were originally applying for a Skilled Independent 136 visa and looking at getting our visas next May.
We were both getting quite impatient as staying here for more than another year seemed far too long.
Now that the points have been increased we are now applying for a Sponsored 139 visas, my aunt in Adelaide is sponsoring us.
Our application should be lodged by end of May, so hopefully we'll have our visas now by October this year!
We have both had feelings of excitement, nervousness and thoughts of what the hell are we doing?
But we both feel that this is something that we have to try otherwise in years to come we'll end up regretting it.
We spent a month in Adelaide last September and loved every minute of it, didn't want to come home and can't wait to get back.
Kelly.
We were both getting quite impatient as staying here for more than another year seemed far too long.
Now that the points have been increased we are now applying for a Sponsored 139 visas, my aunt in Adelaide is sponsoring us.
Our application should be lodged by end of May, so hopefully we'll have our visas now by October this year!
We have both had feelings of excitement, nervousness and thoughts of what the hell are we doing?
But we both feel that this is something that we have to try otherwise in years to come we'll end up regretting it.
We spent a month in Adelaide last September and loved every minute of it, didn't want to come home and can't wait to get back.
Kelly.
May 7th 2004, 8:42 pm
#9
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: west midlands
Posts: 16
Re: Is it normal to feel this negative?
Originally posted by emillyloolas
HI all,
could do with some advise-me, my husband and 4 kids are supposed to be going to Oz in July on temp visa with view to perm. As husband is going employer sponser it Is all going through very quickly we only applied to the job in march. we have a very good life here with nice house in the country, good mates and husband has good job- he will be going to a more stressful job with longer hours in OZ. We have always dreamt about going to live in Australia since we lived there for a year 15 years ago and never thoght we could as hubbie is a GP and they were not recruiting but now that its within reach we are having huge doubts - is this just part of the process , we're dithering from do we go /don't we - extremely srtessful - it would be easier to say we are not and the stress would stop, most people on here seen so up beat about going.
Do you think its a case of being careful what you wish for or it may come true. so confused can't even remember why I wanted to go now.
A ny advise or opinions gratefully recieved
HI all,
could do with some advise-me, my husband and 4 kids are supposed to be going to Oz in July on temp visa with view to perm. As husband is going employer sponser it Is all going through very quickly we only applied to the job in march. we have a very good life here with nice house in the country, good mates and husband has good job- he will be going to a more stressful job with longer hours in OZ. We have always dreamt about going to live in Australia since we lived there for a year 15 years ago and never thoght we could as hubbie is a GP and they were not recruiting but now that its within reach we are having huge doubts - is this just part of the process , we're dithering from do we go /don't we - extremely srtessful - it would be easier to say we are not and the stress would stop, most people on here seen so up beat about going.
Do you think its a case of being careful what you wish for or it may come true. so confused can't even remember why I wanted to go now.
A ny advise or opinions gratefully recieved
May 7th 2004, 9:03 pm
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 369
Originally posted by Billabong
You go from complete highs to real downers through the whole process (it is an emotional rollercoaster extrordinaire)
You are not alone - we have had our visas a month now and are hoping to go at the end of August. There will always be the little bit of doubt in your mind but what you have to think is what you will think in years to come if you don't give it a try.
Go for it
You go from complete highs to real downers through the whole process (it is an emotional rollercoaster extrordinaire)
You are not alone - we have had our visas a month now and are hoping to go at the end of August. There will always be the little bit of doubt in your mind but what you have to think is what you will think in years to come if you don't give it a try.
Go for it
mmmmmm if you dont give it a try...........
May 7th 2004, 9:51 pm
#11
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 24
thanks guys,
have copied out replies to show husband when he's back from work- plenty to think about.
have copied out replies to show husband when he's back from work- plenty to think about.
May 7th 2004, 10:23 pm
#12
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hi emillyloolas
Having just run the DIMIA grand national....... I've found it's normal for emotions to take a roller coaster ride. This is probably the most stressfull thing most of us have ever contemplated. It affects not just our immediate family but our extended families, friends and colleagues etc.
Also....as you say.......there are the friends and lifestyle you may leave behind in the UK, possibly good jobs with futures nailed on with promotion/s and salary increases, bonuses etc. And for some of us....we are leaving this behind with NO jobs to go to
So......its absolutly normal for you to go through emotional turmoil including doubt, spells of excitement, exhilloration then insecurity and wondering if it's such a good idea after all
This forum is fantastic in that you can see from the responses above that it's something we have all felt at one time or another
I remind myself "what's the worse thing that can happendue to emigrating?"
Will undoubtedly cost loads of dosh, might not find same job?, might not have as good salary? or bonus?, might come back?
I console myself that at least I'll not die asking "what if".......
As long as you and hubby stick together [this process will test ya!], have your health, keep safe, feet firmly on ground ......and not too proud to come back if don't like it.....then why not give it a go?
"better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"
Whatever you decide.....we all wish you luck. I'm sure you'll do what's best for you & your family
Phoenixuk2oz
Having just run the DIMIA grand national....... I've found it's normal for emotions to take a roller coaster ride. This is probably the most stressfull thing most of us have ever contemplated. It affects not just our immediate family but our extended families, friends and colleagues etc.
Also....as you say.......there are the friends and lifestyle you may leave behind in the UK, possibly good jobs with futures nailed on with promotion/s and salary increases, bonuses etc. And for some of us....we are leaving this behind with NO jobs to go to
So......its absolutly normal for you to go through emotional turmoil including doubt, spells of excitement, exhilloration then insecurity and wondering if it's such a good idea after all
This forum is fantastic in that you can see from the responses above that it's something we have all felt at one time or another
I remind myself "what's the worse thing that can happendue to emigrating?"
Will undoubtedly cost loads of dosh, might not find same job?, might not have as good salary? or bonus?, might come back?
I console myself that at least I'll not die asking "what if".......
As long as you and hubby stick together [this process will test ya!], have your health, keep safe, feet firmly on ground ......and not too proud to come back if don't like it.....then why not give it a go?
"better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"
Whatever you decide.....we all wish you luck. I'm sure you'll do what's best for you & your family
Phoenixuk2oz
May 7th 2004, 11:41 pm
#13
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Lancs England
Posts: 3
Hi emillyloolas
Well you are not on your own for the past 6mths we have been trying to decide whether to go back to oz ,we returned 3yrs ago due to no work for hubby (brickie). I feel stressed all the time, one day i'm really positive and saying lets go for it then another day i'm thinking lets just get on with living over here. I dont really know why i want to go i guess i just want an adventure and a different way of life. The other problem i have is the kids and their schooling i keep questioning is it right to interupt their education again when i'm really not sure whether oz would be the right move for us as a family. It is doing my head in, so anyway we are in discussion at the moment about selling this house and buying something a bit cheaper to rent out over here. We would need to sell this house as we would need some capital form it, so that keeps us on the property ladder over here, go to oz hopefully new year and rent there so the money we get for renting here would pay for our rent there. I am not looking to stay in oz forever and i'm thinking we will stay for maybe five years at least until kids finish school but who knows maybe we never want to return but i doubt it i have a large family here and would like to be around them in later life. It is not an easy decision i guess we will never know whether it was right to go unless we go and find out.
Good look with what ever you decide.
Colette
Well you are not on your own for the past 6mths we have been trying to decide whether to go back to oz ,we returned 3yrs ago due to no work for hubby (brickie). I feel stressed all the time, one day i'm really positive and saying lets go for it then another day i'm thinking lets just get on with living over here. I dont really know why i want to go i guess i just want an adventure and a different way of life. The other problem i have is the kids and their schooling i keep questioning is it right to interupt their education again when i'm really not sure whether oz would be the right move for us as a family. It is doing my head in, so anyway we are in discussion at the moment about selling this house and buying something a bit cheaper to rent out over here. We would need to sell this house as we would need some capital form it, so that keeps us on the property ladder over here, go to oz hopefully new year and rent there so the money we get for renting here would pay for our rent there. I am not looking to stay in oz forever and i'm thinking we will stay for maybe five years at least until kids finish school but who knows maybe we never want to return but i doubt it i have a large family here and would like to be around them in later life. It is not an easy decision i guess we will never know whether it was right to go unless we go and find out.
Good look with what ever you decide.
Colette
May 8th 2004, 12:31 am
#14
Live the moment
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: In between nappies and feeds
Posts: 2,026
Originally posted by Go Banana's !!
Just come out of a HUGH wobble too and it is normal, BUT and this is a big but and I can't believe I am saying this - Grayling would be proud ! :
Do seriously look at what you have in the UK and what you would gain in Oz, we did a thread about this a while back. If it's all about beaches and outdoor life then that might not be enough.
Make a serious list of why you want to go and weigh that up with what you have in the Uk.
I won't go into all our reasons, 'cos I have already bored this lot silly with them, but they have to be solid reasons. We have alot of family out there and are able to live morgage free, which means that we will spend more time together than we do in the Uk and for us that is a big reason. Mr Banana works away and it isn't fun. We also want an adventure and I fully expect that Oz will not be our final resting place, as our daughter may need more opportunity when she is older and so we'll go off again!!:scared:
Go with your eyes wide open There will be many peeks and dips before you get there. For us the waiting felt an age, gave me too much time to think !!
This site has talked me through endless traumas, but I'm really getting ready now for the big adventure, I can feel an offer coming on the house any day now.
The very best of luck and keep on here and we'll keep you right (or do yer 'ead in )
Jill
Perth Sept 2004
Just come out of a HUGH wobble too and it is normal, BUT and this is a big but and I can't believe I am saying this - Grayling would be proud !
:Do seriously look at what you have in the UK and what you would gain in Oz, we did a thread about this a while back. If it's all about beaches and outdoor life then that might not be enough.
Make a serious list of why you want to go and weigh that up with what you have in the Uk.
I won't go into all our reasons, 'cos I have already bored this lot silly with them, but they have to be solid reasons. We have alot of family out there and are able to live morgage free, which means that we will spend more time together than we do in the Uk and for us that is a big reason. Mr Banana works away and it isn't fun. We also want an adventure and I fully expect that Oz will not be our final resting place, as our daughter may need more opportunity when she is older and so we'll go off again!!:scared:
Go with your eyes wide open
There will be many peeks and dips before you get there. For us the waiting felt an age, gave me too much time to think !!This site has talked me through endless traumas, but I'm really getting ready now for the big adventure, I can feel an offer coming on the house any day now.
The very best of luck and keep on here and we'll keep you right (or do yer 'ead in
)Jill
Perth Sept 2004
Pants
May 8th 2004, 7:58 am
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 123
Re: Is it normal to feel this negative?
Originally posted by robinvanboxel
Im just starting out on the whole emmigration process and its took a while to reach even that far. All the messages so far sound spot on. you wouldnt be human if you didnt have doubts. My biggest concern (silly as it sounds) is that if im having a really bad day with kids or hubby or work I phone the girls and we have a night out ,or in, have a bottle of wine and a laugh and it all seems ok. these are mates Ive had for 20 years weve done school marriage kids and there still there, that will be hard for me. BUt I look at my life now, long hours no family quality time and I think there has to be more to life!? Im looking at a big adventure if it doesnt work so what, I tried, but Im really confident that it will. So good luck.
Im just starting out on the whole emmigration process and its took a while to reach even that far. All the messages so far sound spot on. you wouldnt be human if you didnt have doubts. My biggest concern (silly as it sounds) is that if im having a really bad day with kids or hubby or work I phone the girls and we have a night out ,or in, have a bottle of wine and a laugh and it all seems ok. these are mates Ive had for 20 years weve done school marriage kids and there still there, that will be hard for me. BUt I look at my life now, long hours no family quality time and I think there has to be more to life!? Im looking at a big adventure if it doesnt work so what, I tried, but Im really confident that it will. So good luck.
Kelly.