We came over last August bringing our children aged 16, 6 and 2 with us. My stepdaughter (16) returned to the UK in November as she missed her friends badly. She didnt settle at all and couldnt wait to return to her old life.

On the other hand, our 2 boys absolutely love it and have settled brilliantly

Well he is slowly getting better. We have been spoiled as behaviour wise he really was a good kid, one of those annoying ones who makes other parents kids look bad!! Well mannered and such a pleasant demeanour. So although others are saying,"he's ok, just being a typical boy" to us its a bloody night mare!! He is certainly far more aggressive than he was, but maybe he was always going to go down that route with age.
His sleeping is now sorted, no more jumping in with us leaving him with a good nights sleep but 2 grumpy parents sleepless next to him! But his eating is hit and miss, actually he has never been a big eater but again it is showing signs of getting back to normality.
Its also becoming a bit of a good cop bad cop scenario with his mum and I and although we both back each other up completely he does seem to pay more attention when my decibels increase! New neighbours must be well pleased!!

We've been out here 8 months now, we have a 4 year old he was 3 when we moved also. And I have to say your boy is pretty much mirroring what our boy did. Exactly the same never been a very good eater, but particularly picky after arriving, same sleeping arrangements and turned into a monster. We pretty much got him settled, but felt bad for him as he had no friends and too young to start kindy. So we thought it would be great to get him a puppy for company. Well talk about a different child!! He is even more a monster now than he was when we first got here. I'm not sure if its jealousy of the dog or what, I'm just hoping its a phase right now and will pass. But don't worry about the eating thing, he will eat when he's ready. Give it a couple of months and he will surprise you. As someone once said to me, have you ever heard of a child starving themselves? He will eat when he's good and ready, in the meantime just be patient.

I'm glad this thread came up, what quoll said is pretty much what we think, we are thinking of Pinging, or is that ponging back to the UK/Eire/Europe for 4-5 years, our kids are 7 weeks, 4 and 6, so we realistically want to be back in Oz before the 6 year old is 14/15, ideally 10/11, so that gives us a 4 year window or there abouts ?

has anyone done this ?

The consensus definitely seems to be that the earlier the better ! We have a 5 year old, and are looking to move next year if possible. But I have learnt that the only thing constant in life is change.....and with the US market the way it is at the moment, we may look to stay a couple of extra years as our assett base is in property (in Aruba, but our economy is linked to the US). If things do not turn this year, it would not make sense for us to "cash in" at the bottom.......it would make our move even more difficult.
So, whilst moving with a 6 year old would probably be easy.....she may actually be even older......
I was just curious.

Thanks to all for the responses !

I moved around a lot as a child.
The primary years were ok and a move aged 12 was ok too as I started a new school at the same time as everyone else.
I moved again aged 15 and a half and it was awful. I wouldn't recommend this unless it was absolutely necessary

sorry for bringing this topic up from the dead but I have been searching for just this subject. We have brought a 15 and 13 year old over to Australia and the 13 year old has settled really well, but our 15 year old is struggling and wants to go back.

we have only been here 4 weeks and its very early days, he is trying and has met some kids at school and is trying for a local football team twice a week, but he is missing his mates so much, it is hard to see him so sad.

Just hoping that for him there is light at the end of the tunnel, he likes to do well in everything he does and I just hope this move doesn't knock the heart out of him

I have to say that with our three kids ( 14, 10, and 3) the eldest doesnt want to move to Oz. She used to either go quiet and sulk, or say 'I dont want to go!' and storm off.

However, my wife and myself have taken the tact of openly talking about moving to Oz, and even though we get the occasionally muted whinge, its seemed to help (I say seemed, but who the hell knows what goes through the head of a teenager? )

Hmm. im going to sound like my wife now, however, it seems that as kids get older, they start to adhere to ....dun dun dern, The Change Curve. So they go through Denial, Anger, Bargaining and Depression (not literally!) before Acceptance.

The main thing is, most kids cant see past the end of their nose and see the benefit of having dual citizenship, better life, etc, etc. They just want to hang out with their friends. Its a hard life!

Hi, I found the opposite.

My eldest was 15 and he settled super quick and loves it here. He has no desire to go back to UK. Now in Year 12 doing TEE subjects.

I found the 3 year old didnt really notice, just give her a bucket and spade and she is happy!

Think it was the 10 year old who loved Australia but was bit weepy with it all at the start.

Gems

We arrived 2 yrs ago with 12 yo, 9 yo ,6 yo.The 12 yo had the hardest time accepting whole idea of moving and took a while to settle.Middle had the most problems and was depressed and worryingly unhappy .The youngest took it all v. well tho all 3 say they would go home today if they could. Adolescence seems to be hardest time to move.

I think we came off really lucky compared with some. We did what most people would consider a potential for disaster, we brought our 3 sons over 3 years ago then aged 12, 16 and 18. Our 18Yo found out we were coming first and was really up for it even though he had a fantastic group of mates in the UK, he wanted to go to uni and study marine biology so Australia has been his dream come true, even though this has meant him living in Qld for the past 3 years whilst we are in Melbourne. He's just completed his BSc and is returning in a couple of weeks to do his Masters.

When we eventually told our younger two, shock was definitely their reaction and we had some tears from both of them. But big brother was a real help and they both accepted the decision. The then 16 yo was the most apprehensive, he loved the UK, was just completing GCSE's, doing fantastically and looking forward to going to college for A levels. We made schools the priority for us, we arrived in the September so the 12 yo went to school here for the last term, but the 16yo decided to take the long break and start Year 11 in the January. I think if you bring kids of this age then getting them into the right school for them, be it public or private is absolutely critical.

Our 16yo was adamant that he wasn't attending some "snobby" prep school as he put it, so we said the final decision could be his. We looked at both types in the first weeks we were here and he chose private!!! To be fair, it depends on where you live some places have fantastic state schools.
The school was brilliant, the youngest started in the Oct, but our 16yo was invited in for a Yr 11 orientation day in the Nov. From that day on he never looked back, he has the same mates now he made that day and heads off for uni in a few weeks. He wasn't even interested in going back to the uk for his gap year.

The youngest is now 15 and is also really settled, but I think he will go back a visit the UK when he finishes school for part of his gap year. He still regularly talks to his UK mates on msn and I think is more curious than anything.

Anyway, it can work with older kids, but it depends alot on the kids and the family. We wouldn't have come if one of ours had said they weren't coming, but it actually never crossed our minds that they wouldn't. Perhaps we were just plain lucky! Shame were not so lucky on the old Lotto to pay for the school and uni costs!!!!!

I think you are right about the schools, it was our first priority we chose one with a football academy attached as all our sons love football, our eldest son 19 decided to stay in the UK (which is killing me) although he had a PR visa he refused to validate it.

Just hope he settles and doesnt look so sad all the time, we have said if we dont like it we can always go back to the UK, this was our mantra from the start and I know at this time he would love nothing more.

Fortunately another new boy started the same day as him in the same year from Scotland and are both trying out for the same football team, so hopefully they will become friends

Just wish we had done it a bit sooner, we have been planning the move since 2004 and due to circumstances have just arrived this year, maybe we arrived just to late, boys are to old the other in the UK who would have been here if we made it earlier, who knows

With boys especially I think your right about the sport. I think that is an advantage of most private schools well here in Vic anyway that they have encourage sport, in fact its usually compulsory. Not a problem for my kids but some probably don't relish the idea of going to school on Saturdays for sport. I hope your 19 yo eventually at least comes for a visit and validates his visa. When he does he may well decide its not that bad after all.

Unfortunately his visa has now expired so if he does decide to come we have to find another way in.

I agree with Kiwinow if the parents are positive about the move it makes it easier. I originally immigrated to Africat at 11 and that was hard only child. Then my parents moved me to NZ at 15 that was very hard and became harder because my Mum hated it and everything about it and I grew up wanting to be back in the UK because of her.

When people immigrate and they are unhappy and compare then the children will too and that makes children feel like they are in limbo land not belonging to either country because of age and its a hard place to be and stays with you for life. That is what I felt like and my brother who is a lot younger than me often feels very bitter about it the loss of family etc and if my parents had handled it better this would not have happened.