Nix and Mike

I was just wondering the opinions of this board.....

What do you think is the most difficult age for a child to immigrate?

Is it 5 or 6 or 7 when their little world is so important to them?
Is it 10 or 11 or 12 when they have friends and routine and are settled?
Is it 14 or 15 or 16 when they are teeangers and definitely feel unsettled when their schooling and culture is suddenly altered 100%?

For those of you that have done it......what was the most difficult / easy age and why?

Nix

Coppock

I have 3 cousins in perth, they moved about 18 years ago, ages 4, 6 and 8 (ish)

All I can say is that the youngest is currently the most unsettled and wants to come back to live in the uk because he feels like he's missing something. The middle one came back to visit soon after the youngest did, and both stayed here for several months. The eldest has only been back once and it was only for a few weeks.

I don't know how easy it was for them to settle and it could just be their personalitys, but there seems to be a pattern that the older they are then the less they're going to miss here.Which is odd because I would have bet a 4 year old would have jumped into the aus lifestyle and settled for good before an 8 year old would?

Don't know if its any help. do you have kids? if so what ages will they be when you move?

I have a daughter and want to move before she's 7/8 maximum. She's only 19 months so got plenty of time to hopefully tick all the visa boxes

Blossom

I moved to oz when i was 4, I pretty much forgot about england fairly quickly!

kiwinow

It does depend on the child, their ability to fit in and accept new things. I moved to Oz at 7 and was very excited about it, but my parents unhappiness at the time turned me against it and I became very patriotic toward UK. Lol.

Generally speaking, I think there are less problems if the kids are younger, as it is disruptive to schooling and friends when they reach High school, but it depends on the child's personality.

We are looking at moving from NZ to Oz next year and our oldest has decided to stay behind (17) because friends and the whole youth culture are important to him, the 14 yo is the most excited and gets upset each time we get cold feet and say we might not go, the youngest at 10 doesn't want to leave her friends but is quite excited at the prospect of the wild life. As she makes friends easily I predict she'll be fine. My 12yo son is keen to go, but I suspect he might find it the hardest as he doesn't like change.

quoll

Well, mine was 6 months when he came so it really wasnt a problem for him. I would say 15/16 for mainly educational and social reasons. At 7 a child's family is the most important thing and as long as mum and dad and the dog are there being positive and supportive then it will be relatively easy to cope - even if they do have to leave their best friend in the whole world behind. Making friends at 7 is still quite easy.

At 10/11 then they would have been in a state of flux anyway with changing schools etc so it isnt much of a jump to change schools to a different country where all the other kids are moving and making new friendships anyway.

But at 15/16 the strong social alliances have already been formed - just ask any teacher about the Year 9 girls group phenomenon! The places in the team have been hard fought for and won throughout a HS history and kids are quite established in their pecking order in the school environment. Taking a kid out of the UK system after having ear bashed them for a lifetime about how important education is and how essential to their life forever and ever are GCSEs and A levels is a real about face. To then thrust them into an education system where they have 2 years under brand new circumstances to establish themselves socially and come to terms with different expectations can be challenging.

So earlier rather than later IMHO

deannos

I done it the other way round. Had to move back to the UK with my parents when i was 13 and now have a real strong urge to go back.Went over as the £10 poms,parents never took out citizenship and now having to bend over backwards to go back.Born in the Uk went over when i was 4,but always felt Australian,but even more so now.

Deanno

sue1964

I would say 14-20 is the hardest.The younger the better for coming over!

Margaret3

purely from what ave read , (and not my experience, thank god, ), i would say definately teens, 17 to be exact

BudBrain

I guess it all depends on how well they settle, regardless of age (within reason of course).

I have 2 girls, the eldest is now 10. Over here she's well liked and makes friends easily but I fear that could change when she's not in her comfort zone. I dunno My youngest (2) would find it a breeze (after the plane flight!).

Sandra

I totally believe it is the child and not the age and also a large amount of what hits them when they get here and that is no different to making changes and choices for them in the UK.

Nine and 12 when I brought mine and have been through some awful ups and downs over the last six years and very few of them because we came to Aus - that just an excuse one uses to make me feel guilty when they want something.

The change of school was very traumatic for one child and that was moving primary to High School here in Aus - so much so she has left at the age of 15. The other one is steaming ahead in all aspects and has moved on to a year of college after HSC and before Uni because he is young.

Providing a loving environment for them and stable support of parent/s is the only thing we can promise children not that Australia/UK has anything better/worse for them.

Starlite

I totally agree there!.. we are moving to perth in nov and the 17 year old isn't coming with us due to taking his A levels but he also said he didn't want to leave his friends and his home and what he is used to here in the UK. however, the 12 year old we thought would be against it, which he was at first, but is now coming round to the idea and now looking forward to going.

northernbird

I agree with that. My 7 year old (now 10) was fine but my 3 year old (now almost 6) was an absolutely nightmare and was for about 6 months. Even now she is the sort of child that struggles with any kind of change.

paddyo

We have been here now for 5 weeks and our son is 3. We think in the long term that this is and will be the best time for him, ready to start school and, if and when, we go back in 3 years then he will still be at an adaptable age. I moved schools when I was 6 and 9 and wasn't a problem, but, when I moved at 13 it was the worst time of my life! What with puberty, school social order, acedemia etc I really did regress for a while. Thankfully joining the forces sorted me out! Others of course may disagree with me being sorted out!!! lol
The only probs we have noticed with our 3 year old is that he has had a very ordered and structured life in the UK and on previous holidays away from home his behaviour would change, and not for the positive!! His behaviour over the last 2 months, moving out of home, staying with friends, staying in hotels, flights to Oz, temp accom etc.has shown similar behaviour and its not pleasant!!
He is obviously a creature of habit and routine and we have had to recognise that the split second before beating the hell out of him!! He has started his new child care school today and its very emotional for his mum but hopefully over the next couple of weeks that, together with the stability of a permanent home, will bring back our lovely little angel! Otherwise, its Air Freight back for the little devil!! lol

moneypenny20

I'd say 13/14/15. Any child younger than 10 who's struggling I believe are picking up on parents worries, however subconscious they are. No experience of older than 15 - yet!

northernbird

I think that is the reason my eldest was OK. She is currently on her 5th school in her 3rd country. Youngest is fine now but as I said the first 6 months were tears and tantrums. Wouldn't sleep, wouldn't eat and certainly wouldn't do what either her Dad or I told her. It took about 6 months for things to get back to normal. By the time I left school I had been to 4 primary and 3 secondary schools so I have some sympathy with my kids as I haul them around the world.