empyrean

As I sort of Hi-jacked Wannabee Shiela's thread I thought, in light of some of the responses, that I'd like to hear from more people who are intending (or indeed havealready) leaving behind children when they go to Australia. Many people on this site are lucky enough to be taking young families with them but for people like me whose children are 18 and 22 this is not a possiblity. They are also the children of a first marriage so my husband does not feel quite the same. I want to have the adventure but I also feel hugely guilty at leaving them behind

Any kindred spirits out there?

pommie bastard

Yes we left our son at the time he was at Uni and expected him to follow , but after a lot of hassel from imagration he had settled down in UK so he did not want to come.
We did miss him but life goes on and its good when we do see him , but the space is good too.
You will miss any grandchildren they may have , but its down to your outlook on life do your family come first?
My wife wants to live nearby my son and his wife to be , so thats where we will be going and we both want to return as well.Best Wishes

kismet

hi empy,
we are going through hell with this at the moment. Our daughter was so for the big move months ago when we originally put in for our 457ie visa. Thats what made our minds up to go for it. our other child is 9 so we didnt tell him til we knew if we had gotin.
2 weeks ago she decides she wants to go to college here and come out after that as she isnt sure oz qualifications will be as good as ours. no amount of talking it through with her will change her mind, we have gone from bribery, threats etc.
Sheis now 17 and went to a solicitor (behind our backs ) to fight to stay here.We have said if she feels that strongly to dothat to us she can stay here, we have helped her find a room and she has a good part-time job earning £600 per month.
it just goes against everything as a mother for me to leave her here. but as she pointed out she would be gone in 2 years anyway and it really is acase financially of now or never with us
hope helps kismet

kentcoast

You're far from alone...

Our son, 20 in december has just started second year at Uni - that's the main reason we're not going until 2004 - want to see him through his three years. After that he may join us but he's more likely to head for the States - it's a small world these days.

Our daughter is the other end of further ed. 17 at the moment in the upper 6th at school already signed up as a foreign student to study education at Notre Dame in Fremantle (which is why we're going to Adelaide - we can at least keep a huge desert betwwen us!) - she's actually going to beat us out there! She's done a tremendous amount of research and has no fears about the calibre of their courses - most of us have had ozzie trained teachers at some time....

There was a brilliant quote on another thread - no matter where you are you're only a day away.

Cheers

Perry

dotty

Unfortunately that quote should read you are only 10 grand away. (Or for the pedantic however much it costs your lot to fly back). It could be 10 minutes but if you havnt got the bucks or good health its a bloody world away!!

For many here the airfares back are NOT always affordable, we have 5 lots of friends with 2/3 kids here who could only dream of going back even for a holiday.

We have always worked like the dogs and have afforded several OS trips. Unfortunately tho once our kids saw the UK and North America they were OUT OF HERE. One declared at age eight they hated Australia it was soooo boring and would be off. Now 17 and fully booked out of here

Also I would like to mention, because most areas of Aus are lacking in public Transport, and those that have it are not always safe for teens to use at night. The car here is almost an institution at 17. My Grade 12 kid (17 is finish age in QLD)
has a 36 class, most have cars. It is very expensive for the parents, insurance for these kids is up to $2000 for a basic old car, plus we found little worth buying under $10,000. But what else do you do? It is a very big problem, most parents we know facing borrowing to get kids on the road due to lack of public transport just at the time you have to start paying tens of thousands to send them to University and support them while doing it. We are not poor, but life in Australia for teens is very difficult unless you can provide transport for them. Consider this into your costs if you are bringing two or three kids nearing the teenage years.

Elaine M

empyrean wrote in message news:...
    > As I sort of Hi-jacked Wannabee Shiela's thread I thought, in light of
    > some of the responses, that I'd like to hear from more people who are
    > intending (or indeed havealready) leaving behind children when they go
    > to Australia. Many people on this site are lucky enough to be taking
    > young families with them but for people like me whose children are 18
    > and 22 this is not a possiblity. They are also the children of a first
    > marriage so my husband does not feel quite the same. I want to have the
    > adventure but I also feel hugely guilty at leaving them behind
    > Any kindred spirits out there?

I also contributed to the previous thread and also want to hear from
others in this situation.

My daughters are 17 and (almost)15 and as I've only just lodged my
application, both will probably be over 16 when the visa comes
through. They are included in my application but currently both feel
permanent residence in Aus is not for them.

On the other hand having visited my sister in Adelaide last year I
feel it's where I want to be. I've been planning to migrate since
1995 but had to undertake a professional qualification (accountancy)
to get myself into a position where I could apply for a skilled visa.
So I'm reluctant to give up my goal now and don't have much time to
defer (age wise).

It's going to be very hard to leave them behind (although I hope they
will both come over with me to validate the visas and may decide to
stay, who knows?) but at the end of the day they are young adults and
will sooner or later make their own way in the world.

I would really like to hear how anyone else is/has coped in similar
situations. How can I make it easier all round and how do I deal with
the "bad parent" label that I'm beginning to feel is attached to my
forehead?

Any thoughts?

Elaine

kismet

hi all,
you were saying above about validating visas, can anyone tell me (i know i must be a bit thick) what thisis??
Does my daughter have to come with us at the start when we go to be able to use her visa afterwards if she wants to comeand visit??
she is planning on coming out when she has finished her studies and we are on a 4 yr visa.

Thanks all
kismet

kentcoast

You misunderstand me. The 'only a day away' point is for emergencies - not family hols. The start of the thread was about parents worried about leaving older kids behind, so I'm talking about one parent going back to help with a crisis - a quick search on airfare.com.au finds no shortage of short notice return flights from $1500 (marginally cheaper than going the other way - although not in real terms I accept). Not nothing of course, but in an emergency to help the kids......?

As to insurance that's global, unless you live in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the UK public transport isn't worth mentioning so cars (or taxi's - work it out - you may find a year's taxi costs are cheaper than a year's car costs when you add in ins. fuel, servicing etc.) are essential. Insurance quotes for my 17 year old are close to yours - but in pounds! So when my wife or I can't drop her off she gets a taxi from a company we know and trust and over the course of a year we're quids in. She doesn't particularly like it - most of her class have cars and peer pressure is an issue - but hey, that's a shame.

Cheers

Perry

Elaine M

kismet wrote in message news:...
    > hi all,
    > you were saying above about validating visas, can anyone tell me (i know
    > i must be a bit thick) what thisis??
    > Does my daughter have to come with us at the start when we go to be able
    > to use her visa afterwards if she wants to comeand visit??
    > she is planning on coming out when she has finished her studies and we
    > are on a 4 yr visa.
    > Thanks all
    > kismet

Hi kismet,

If you're on a PR visa you have to validate the visa by visiting Aus
within a year from the date of your medicals/police clearance
(whichever is earlier, I think). Once you've done this you can return
from Aus, eg to sell your house etc, and you have up to five years
(from the original date) to actually migrate.

This applies to all the people included in the application, although
the main applicant must validate at the same time as, or before, the
others.

Not sure what type of visa you have, if not PR I'm not sure how it
works for you but hopefully others will advise (and correct me if I've
got anything wrong, I'm sure!).

So in my case I want to give my daughters the five year period to make
their minds up where they want to live as I don't think it'll be easy
for either of them to apply in their own right if they decide in a
year or two to come over to join me.

Again, any views on this would be appreciated.

Elaine

kismet

Hi elaine,
We are going on 457ie visa so not sure how this will work will have to look into it. Thanks for your reply and good luck my heart goes out to you, i know what you are going through!!
take care
kismet

dani

Hi Empyrean,

I am in the same situation. I hope to migrate in the near future, it is something that I have wanted since the age of 17! Life went on a different course, got married and had two children. Now children are 19 and 21. I have the opportunity now to fulfil my amibition but can't take them (too old).
This may be my last chance of experiencing a new start, so I feel I'm being selfish in a way. But hopefully, if they want to join me at some stage I will be in a position to open doors for them.
Dani

Jaj

As far as I know 457 visas don't have a first entry date so the idea
of 'validating' doesn't apply to them.

Jeremy

    >On Wed, 02 Oct 2002 18:58:16 +0000, kismet wrote:
    >Hi elaine,
    >We are going on 457ie visa so not sure how this will work will have to
    >look into it. Thanks for your reply and good luck my heart goes out to
    >you, i know what you are going through!!
    >take care
    >kismet
    >--
    >Posted via http://britishexpats.com

Jaj

Elaine
If your daughters were younger they would just have to come with you
whether they liked it or not. Parents don't generally give young
children a veto over migrating, and nor should you. In your
situation, of course, they're on the verge of being old enough to
decide what to do for themselves. Than doesn't take away your right
to do what you want for yourself - hold out the opportunity for them
to come, but respect them if they decide not to.

Although IMO they'd be silly not to try out Australia for a few years
anyway, and go back to the UK if they still want to later on.

If you get a visa and make it very clear that you're going, they may
well follow you at that point anyhow.

Jeremy


    >On 1 Oct 2002 18:45:42 -0700, [email protected] (Elaine M) wrote:
    >I would really like to hear how anyone else is/has coped in similar
    >situations. How can I make it easier all round and how do I deal with
    >the "bad parent" label that I'm beginning to feel is attached to my
    >forehead?
    >Any thoughts?
    >Elaine