dotty

I am so flaming mad at my family in the UK. We are travelling 20,000 kilomiles or whatever to see them now they are having big fights about all the visiting, etc.

Brothers wife has refused to travel From Brighton to Kent to see us, like excuse me we are going from OZ to Kent could they make a bit of effort.

Then my mothers had a moan to my other brother that we are leaving near her birthday so that will upset her too much. Then my sister and I have upset a cousin cause we did not invite her on some piss up we have arranged.

I am so sick of it, I could scream, rang my pommie mate here to have a whinge and she says oh yeah remember when we went to Surrey and My sisters accomodation for us was a Tent in her backyard! (May UK nice)

Whats wrong with these people dont they realise the huge cost and effort involved in flying round the world for 4 weeks.

If it wasnt for the shops I'd cancel :scared:

Makes me wonder what it will be like once I am back there to live, not used to family bun fights and not looking forward to it either. Whinge over. Wheres the wine, need a fag. OMG

WBB

you can pick your friends, but not your family.

Ceri

Try it when one of the parents are split up... aye aye aye!!! if you stay with one parent you offend the other. I tell you what.. last time I went home was while I was in Sing. It was for Christmas... god it was stressful... trying to please everybody.. I was never so glad to return to Sing. It seemed most of my time was taken up by "I must go see these people". trying to keep everyone happy.

It was stressful. perfect place for Christmas - on an un-habited island.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends to bits, and miss them something rotten.. but Christmas in my past experiences ..I have been stressed out trying to keep everybody happy. And I wish dearly I could go home this year... must be a gluten for punishment

Good luck

bondipom

I have told everyone in advance where I'll be. There is also a family wedding in the middle. The only person who is getting special treatment is my gran as she struggles to make it down the stairs let alone to Woking.

Anyone who can't be bothered tough crap are there are enough who can be bothered. I have given them all 10 days to see me. I deliberatley chose half term for all the teachers.

Mothers are a nightmare and will drop a guilt bomb without warning or justification. Just ignore them as it is behaviour one would expect from a child. After my mum drops a guilt bomb I do not call her for a month. All they want is attention.

jeannie

Dotty.
The only one you should do somthing with is your Mom take her on a very special day just the two of you. the others well lets face it are they worth the trouble......... I don think so.. :scared:

dotty

My mums a tricky one. She wrote us really nasty letters for years after we decided to stay in OZ, I always tried to understand that she was just hurt and forgive her, but it backfired a bit, she realised she could get sympathy for appaling behaviour and plays on it. Winds people up a bit too to get them involved, as Bondi said "mothers and guilt trips".

Cutting out of will is pretty common anti emigration tactic, honestly I have had three pommie mates here who (me included were cut out of will) at one stage.

Now shes 70 its worse, I can imagine "Oh me heart scenes". You cant win really. Even when we go back I bet theres "Oh the years we lost".

Must vow, do not be a pain in ass to your kids when you get older

Ceri

I feel for you (really!) .. Dotty go home use some ear plugs. She loves you deep down. Some people lash out with hurtful words instead of saying "I love you, and I miss you"

You need to grow a thick skin... and that is hard when it comes to family I know only too well.

ask her to come back with you to Aus
:scared: ... that may do the trick..lol.

I can't offer you advise... becuse my family are just as bad ...


Last time I went home .. we hired a car from Heathrow .. drove ourselves . They do not understand. ...

ahhh families!!!

MrsDagboy

dotty, my one comment is to do everything you can to have a good holiday & spend as much time as you can with your mum.

One day you will rue every cross word you ever had with her & every moment you missed being with her.

dotty

Thanks Ceri, think I'm right now, had a wine, bummed a fag off a workman down the road, thought bugga them, I am going to enjoy myself regardless.

Funny you said bring my mother here, we sent her the airfare half a dozen times, she hated it, only came the once, kept sending the airfare back!!

Pub tonight, wont remember whos fighting with who by end of session hopefully.

jayr

Einstein's theory of relativity - Time slows down when you are with your relatives

bondipom

My MIL does the I won't be around much longer guilt trip and she is only 30 mins drive away. She won't even come and visit us. My mum will fly round the world to see me.

My gran has nearly died and does not throw that crap. When the MIL starts playing up I start talking about England and how great Europe is now. She soon shuts up.

Ceri and Dotty I do not blame you for staying here if your families behave that badly.

I go back to enjoy myself as I only have 4 weeks holiday a year. I will not let family politics wreck that. Fortunatley I will at least get a lift from Heathrow.

dotty

Thats so true, and part of the reason I can never understand why they have to turn trips back home into family feuds. Smile sweetly & bite me lip as always. Lost me nan and grandad while out here so the reality is always in me mind.

The things we do eh?

Ceri

Actually I'm on the verge of packing up and flying out.. We can't go back this christmas ... too much going on here with the company... but my gran (she's in her late 80"S) is due to drop... She is really ill, and has been for the past few years. My mum looks after her. (I'm on the verge of saying b*gger it... I'm going home!)

I'm so scared my gran is going to die while I'm out here. I never got to go to my grandfathers funeral... and it still haunts me. My gran is so close to me..

I'ts hard being out here... my dad had a heart bypass a few years back... and that was hard! I was so worried. I was on the phone to my mum each night, with her in tears.... me trying to comfort her, keeping my own tears at bay for her ... god you feel like a bitch when something happens and can not be there.

Go home for Christmas dotty... she's your mum, you've only got one mum. Learn to cut off from her harsh words.

enjoy yourself

bondipom

I do try to bite my lip but every now and again even the most controlled people go off. Mum has given me no choice in the matter and is dragging us off to Bath for a night. I am actually looking forward to it. Better that than M&S. Hopefully Mrs BP can get my M&S list for me.

queenie

Just to add to the stories...

We just got back from 1 month in UK/Europe. It was a huge waste of £6000.

We went for my brother in-law's wedding in Greece (package deal). The groom and bride could not have been more indifferent towards us. It was our first time to see them since moving away, and they didn't ask anything about it, didn't want to look at the photos or anything!! The bride actually had a whinge that the wedding and holiday cost them £750 each, and the flight from the UK was long!

Our local beach here is far nicer than Greece too!!

I didn't say anything as bickering at a wedding is very bad form, but I am hoping they have kids soon and realise what an expense it would have been for us, and how hard it was to get there. They want to come visit us in Oz next!

I can't help thinking what a good holiday we could have had in Oz with £6000!!

It was great to see friends in the UK though, highly recommended.

Queenie