Honesty!

Old Oct 5th 2008, 4:31 pm
  #1  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 91
fartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nice
Default Honesty!

Hi B.E members.

Can anyone tell me, that they have experienced mixed feelings when telling friends about the move to OZ.

Some of our very good friends have been genuine in wishing us all the best, while others have been distant and had'nt said a lot.

Tell me im not paranoid, but i get the feeling some are 'jealous' or 'false' or both!

We have our Visa's and are going out for a Reccie in Feb 2009.
Sorry if this post is Bland, but any info please
fartso is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 4:56 pm
  #2  
BE Forum Addict
 
RenShen's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Helensvale - yipeeeeeeeee!!
Posts: 1,330
RenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Honesty!

Hi,

My best friend has gradually become distant and has moved on to another friend as her "bezzy". She hasn't even tried to hide this from me or offer any explanation. Must admit, it hurts a bit but then again it shows that some of the relationships I might have stayed in the UK for are much more transient than I thought they were.

My husband's sister (who we were not particularly close to anyway) inexplicably took it really bad. Not to our faces, just stopped talking to us. Other family members have told us that she is "so upset" that she can't bear to talk about it. Personally it just reinforces my opinion that she is a cold hearted miserable bitch This has also helped my husband with his decision to leave so she has unintentionally done us a favour really.

The ones that are struggling but trying to put a brave face on it are my parents and brothers. We are really close and I know its tearing them apart. I just think that if they can try to support us, when its almost killing them with grief, any other "friends" who give us a hard time can just go forth and multiply.

Has anyone given you a hard time?
RenShen is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 5:16 pm
  #3  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 91
fartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nice
Default Re: Honesty!

Originally Posted by RenShen View Post
Hi,

My best friend has gradually become distant and has moved on to another friend as her "bezzy". She hasn't even tried to hide this from me or offer any explanation. Must admit, it hurts a bit but then again it shows that some of the relationships I might have stayed in the UK for are much more transient than I thought they were.

My husband's sister (who we were not particularly close to anyway) inexplicably took it really bad. Not to our faces, just stopped talking to us. Other family members have told us that she is "so upset" that she can't bear to talk about it. Personally it just reinforces my opinion that she is a cold hearted miserable bitch This has also helped my husband with his decision to leave so she has unintentionally done us a favour really.

The ones that are struggling but trying to put a brave face on it are my parents and brothers. We are really close and I know its tearing them apart. I just think that if they can try to support us, when its almost killing them with grief, any other "friends" who give us a hard time can just go forth and multiply.

Has anyone given you a hard time?
Hi,
Thanks for your relpy.

What you have said is what we have felt. Close friends and family have been fine, it's just the feeling i get from some others even at our kids football team!

It really has made our minds up to go for a fresh start and make new friends.

Cheer's
fartso is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 5:17 pm
  #4  
Forum Regular
 
bu1lder's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Halls Head WA
Posts: 289
bu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Honesty!

The biggest mistake i have made during this process is telling any one......Every time i see a friend or work colegue thats all i get "thought you were going to oz?" but you know what its like you tell one person they tell another Etc. etc.
As for family every time i speak to my mum or dad, for the last 18 months all i've had is...."have you heard anything? have you heard anything?" or "so and so's just come back from oz and they said it was crap!" you get the idea ;-)

Or "you still here then!"

Last edited by bu1lder; Oct 5th 2008 at 5:19 pm. Reason: forgot summat
bu1lder is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 5:32 pm
  #5  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 91
fartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nicefartso is just really nice
Default Re: Honesty!

Originally Posted by bu1lder View Post
The biggest mistake i have made during this process is telling any one......Every time i see a friend or work colegue thats all i get "thought you were going to oz?" but you know what its like you tell one person they tell another Etc. etc.
As for family every time i speak to my mum or dad, for the last 18 months all i've had is...."have you heard anything? have you heard anything?" or "so and so's just come back from oz and they said it was crap!" you get the idea ;-)

Or "you still here then!"
Hello,
Same thing for us at work, or night out or anywhere 'when you going' 'hear'ed' anything yet.

Got the feeling most people were nosey or hoping we would'nt get visa's.
Sounds strange i know, but some so called mates have been distant!
fartso is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 7:06 pm
  #6  
beach bum
 
ponyrama's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Snowy Mountains, NSW
Posts: 1,993
ponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Honesty!

I've had mixed reactions too. People at work have been really great and supportive. Some friends have too - though a couple of friends who when I think about it, have always tried to take advantage in one way or another have said things like "oh you'll be back in 12 months" or "what about us - what are we going to do". My "so called" best friend has yet to wish me luck and tell me it is the best opportunity I have ever had. (which it is and I know it )

On the other hand my family (with the exception of my sister in Oz) are devastated, have told me so, but have also said that they would never want me not to go because of them and they are 100% behind me. That means so much I cant tell you and I am just making sure that I spend as much time as I can with them. Times like these really put things in perspective and make you realise what and who is important!
ponyrama is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 7:12 pm
  #7  
I don't give a damn
 
Fleaflyfloflum's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: In the arms of my family. Heaven...
Posts: 4,980
Fleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond reputeFleaflyfloflum has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Honesty!

I left UK 9yrs ago.

Try to step back and think about these issues from their perspective. YOU are leaving them. Whilst you have your own feelings and emotions, so do they. They will feel you are abandoning THEM and are probably trying to ease the hurt in their own ways. Try to remember it is you that is changing the goal posts in whatever relationship, it is not them.
How would you feel if someone you cared deeply about, or relied on or enjoyed being with suddenly told you they were upping sticks to the other side of the world?

Last edited by Fleaflyfloflum; Oct 5th 2008 at 7:24 pm.
Fleaflyfloflum is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 7:27 pm
  #8  
Forum Regular
 
Dave_Kent's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Brisbane since October 2008 (Ex-Kent)
Posts: 47
Dave_Kent is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Honesty!

My best mate of 41 years has virtually stopped talking to me. We did go for a "farewell drink" last week and he said "I'm only going to say this once then I'll let it go. It's f****d that you're going to Australia!".

He obviously wishes us well

I'm sure he'll get over it though when we get settled and offer him and his missus unlimited free accomodation in QLD for a holiday . . .

On the bright side, my mum (who lives in Oz) is over the moon!

PS: One word - "Skype".

D
Dave_Kent is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 7:28 pm
  #9  
Forum Regular
 
Dave_Kent's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Brisbane since October 2008 (Ex-Kent)
Posts: 47
Dave_Kent is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Honesty!

BTW - the reaction we've had mostly from freinds, family and colleagues has been sheer unbridled jealousy
Dave_Kent is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 7:47 pm
  #10  
beach bum
 
ponyrama's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Snowy Mountains, NSW
Posts: 1,993
ponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond reputeponyrama has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Honesty!

Originally Posted by Dave_Kent View Post
PS: One word - "Skype".

D
Skype - its the future! Never mind garlic bread!
ponyrama is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 7:53 pm
  #11  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 645
johnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to alljohnknight001 is a name known to all
Default Re: Honesty!

hi all
it amused me the response we got from people, it ranged from we will miss you and hope you have a great time- then we got well id go now not wait untill next year, i explained the process and that our visa was submited and it takes a bit of time, we even got told it was a pipe dream and not to be so silly, well i told the wife that when they ring for a free holiday we wont be in!!
johnknight001 is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 8:11 pm
  #12  
Forum Regular
 
bu1lder's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Halls Head WA
Posts: 289
bu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of lightbu1lder is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Honesty!

Originally Posted by johnknight001 View Post
hi all
it amused me the response we got from people, it ranged from we will miss you and hope you have a great time- then we got well id go now not wait untill next year, i explained the process and that our visa was submited and it takes a bit of time, we even got told it was a pipe dream and not to be so silly, well i told the wife that when they ring for a free holiday we wont be in!!
Oh i forgot to mention i've also had "WHAT ABOUT ALL THE CROCS,SPIDERS,SHARKS, JELLY FISH AND SNAKES??" i mean come on!! get real!! i even got told " You cant get propper food!! not even..........erm.......Lurpac!" not a joke i was really told that.
p.s. "EVERY ONE GETS SKIN CANCER IN OZ!" I've had that one also.
bu1lder is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 8:34 pm
  #13  
BE Forum Addict
 
shirlw's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland-South Africa-Sunshine Coast
Posts: 1,333
shirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud ofshirlw has much to be proud of
Default Re: Honesty!

Interesting thread.....

I am from Scotland but have lived in South Africa for 15 years (all my family still in UK).

Last night we had a crowd of friends round for our big reveal and actually had a very benign response from most people but I guess it's early days yet.One friend asked us why we were not going to a first world country....a very educated and well travelled person i might add but never been to Aus...go figure !

We decided way back not to tell anyone and have kept our secret for 18months from talking about it,to applying for it then getting it (the visa) in July,it is a strain to hold it in and now that it is out in the open,we still feel stressed out because we still have to sell up whilst at a time when the market is up to s*@t.I digress.........

There will always be people that are jealous, envious supportive or whatever but we feel that we do not need to justify ourselves to anyone and therefore try to avoid reacting to stupid comments about snakes etc.......each to their own and a revelation of who are really our true friends at the end of the day.Good luck to all in the process.................
shirlw is offline  
Old Oct 5th 2008, 11:00 pm
  #14  
BE Forum Addict
 
RenShen's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Helensvale - yipeeeeeeeee!!
Posts: 1,330
RenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond reputeRenShen has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Honesty!

We used to have pet snakes and a bearded dragon, though we emptied the house of pets when it went on the market.

One of my nephews had a girlfriend that was frightened of reptiles so he didnt visit for over 4 years!!!

When he dumped the girlfriend he started coming round again and wondered why I was cool with him.

Thank God Australia has this image of a deadly spider/snake/shark on every street corner. It stops the knob heads from going there
RenShen is offline  
Old Oct 6th 2008, 12:35 am
  #15  
Newlywed
 
Dorothy's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,755
Dorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond reputeDorothy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Honesty!

Originally Posted by Fleaflyfloflum View Post
I left UK 9yrs ago.

Try to step back and think about these issues from their perspective. YOU are leaving them. Whilst you have your own feelings and emotions, so do they. They will feel you are abandoning THEM and are probably trying to ease the hurt in their own ways. Try to remember it is you that is changing the goal posts in whatever relationship, it is not them.
How would you feel if someone you cared deeply about, or relied on or enjoyed being with suddenly told you they were upping sticks to the other side of the world?
As always, Flea, excellent post. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Dorothy is offline  

Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.