Lany

To all of you who have already made the move...how did u deal with the homesickness? I have been in oz 3 months and I still can't deal with it, I miss my family so much that sometimes I just sit and cry for hours. We moved here cuz my hubbys from here and wanted to come home, i expected it to be easier than what it has been. I havent been able to work cuz I'm still waiting for residency and I don't know when I'll get that cuz I've had a health scare so they won't give me it until that gets sorted. Everyone on here seems to really like australia and the way of life and Im really envious because at the minute I don't. I really want to like it but I'm just so miserable! I have no friends although maybe that'll happen when I start working. sorry to ramble but I just want to know if anyone else has felt like this and how it turned out for them. Thanks

nosuchluck

Hi Lany,
i am still over here in the Uk but feel so sorry for you, is it just you and your husband over there? does he have family there that you could mix with and join there social circle? how about joining a gym, or even a library so you will be mixing with people?
i hope that things work out for you,
best wishes
rach

podgypossum

Lany, i was in the exact same postition as you 2yrs ago. I married a NZer and we moved htere so he could go home. I never did like it in NZ. I also felt very lonely and isolated. All i can say is that it DOES get easier. We have now left NZ and live in Adelaide, but i am also in the same position you are in now. I am waiting for residency, so cannot work either. The difference being that i love it here. OK, i dont know many people at all, but since i have done this cenario once before, i have learnt a lesson. I am gonna use this time on my hands to sort out other issues in my life (weight loss) I have promised myself that i will go out and explore my new surroundings and get to know the place.

As for missng family and friends, yes, i can understand that, but you have to realise, that unless YOU make the effort to find new friends you will always be lonely. People dont drop themselves at your feet, you have to push your way into their lives gently.
One of two things will probably happen to you. Either you will never get over the loss of leaving people back home and return, OR, you will gradually build up a new network of people here and setle down. Think about your friends back home. A lot of those friendships took years to develop and you are now starting from scratch, so it wont happen overnight.

Best of luck. Shame you not in Adelaide as we could meet up!!

JoB

Lany,

I think everyone goes through that. I am not over in NZ yet but I am dreading the goodbyes and the homesickness.
One thing I am going to do is make a folder and with all the newpaper cuttings etc about the things I hate about blighty stick 'em in, then when I get home sick I will open it up and remember why I left. You may want to do the same but use the internet.

I know your partner is from Oz but why did you choose there to live? Think about those reasons.

But the only real comfort I can give is that from all the research I have done is that it does ease, give it a few more months, they reacon about 6 months to settle properly. And use all the suggestions from the guys who post.

Chin up love, it will get better

Jo

CHnJ

Sent you a PM

Lany

Hey rach. yeah hubbys family are here but dnt really have much in common with them. Think I will join something as It's very frustrating sitting in apartment all day when hubbys working. I go out for walks and stuff, lots to see and do in the city, it really is great and I do like melbourne but I just can't get used to being without my family, we're very close. My mums like my best friend and I hate not having that close contact anymore, although my phonebill home is sky high! When are u coming to oz?

Lany

Thanks podgypossum. I c your up as late as I am!!! Glad to hear someone else has felt the same. The one thing I have on my side is I really want to make this work, I don't want to give up and go home. It's hard cuz we're newlyweds and its putting a lot of strain on us me feeling like this.

nosuchluck

Hi Lany,
i really do feel for you and can't even imagine what you are going through, i too am close to my mum and leaving behind my 19 year old daughter but i know that i will have to make the effort to make friends, in a way i expect it to be easier as i have an 11 year old daughter who will have no trouble mixing so i can mix with the other mums. Its a shame that you can't work and you have been poorly but i'm sure as soon as you have residency things will get better for you mate!
We only lodged our main app. at the beginning of October so in for a long wait, god knows how long! Can't wait to get away from the stress and grey skies of the Uk, hoping to settle in Brisbane suburbs asap!
take care mate, do you have msn? if so let me know and i'll add you as a contact
keep smiling it can only get better
hugs
rach x

podgypossum

Me and you have a lot in common...we had also been married less than a year when we moved. One good thing about it. Having to spend a lot of time together helps to bond the relationship more...i not saying its all roses as we had some real humdinger rows to start with (mainly due to my homesickness and dislike of my inlaws!!)

I am up late coz its soooo damn hot here!!

What sort of things did you used to enjoy doing when you were in the UK?

Lany

Thats the problem...i'm a very indoorsy sort of girl!!! love reading, watching movies. writing letters, surfing the net!!! and oz is a very outdoorsy sort of place! My hubbys into skiing, surfing etc and I hate all that. Love the beach though, could wuite happily sit there and read all day long!

Grayling

'Everyone on here seems to really like australia and the way of life and Im really envious because at the minute I don't.'

Lany
Remember a lot of people who post on here are not in Australia yet.
Many of them have never been.
They may find that The dream is better than the reality.
G

Lany

thats an interesting point that I hadn't thought of!

arlene

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Lany
To all of you who have already made the move...how did u deal with the homesickness?

just to let you know that when i first moved abroad it took me a good year before i even thought of calling my house a home, you just have to work through it and remember the reasons why you moved, although i only lived in the med i flew home twice but this reaffirmed my reasons for going, although i dont think you ever really get over homesickness completley

arlene

Tazzy

Hey Lany,

Just read your thread and the replies you've received. Can't really add much as the rest have made some really useful advice and comments.
You'll find some really kind people on here and I think maybe some who have moved to Melbourne who you could meet up with when they have their group meets.
Although it probably won't cure your homesickness, I bet it will be nice to hear a British accent and talk about loves/hates of the U.K.
But I think you should try stick it out the best you can. Maybe give yourself a time scale and push yourself to join groups/classes in the communtiy. You say you love books, why not join a book reading circle, may sound a bit naff but it will get you out and about a bit more.
I hope I'm not stepping over the mark when I say this but if you haven't already done this have a chat with hubby about your homesickness. Maybe he can help in introducing you to wives/girlfriends of people he works with.
Good luck
Tazzy

Pollyana

Hi Lany,
Pity you are down in Melbourne, or we could've got together; you sound as if you are in very similar circumstances to me. I've come out to Oz to get married (this than a month now!:scared: ). I really wanted to come to Oz, though not by the rose-tinted specs route, I'd visited several times and had a rough idea what to expect. However, nothing prepares you for the difference of actually living here, does it! I've been through a really bad homesick phase - weird, cos I don't want to go back up north. The only way I could deal with it was by telling my Bloke, and by reminding myself why I want to be in Oz, and all the reasons why I moved.
I get on OK with his family, but thats not how friends are made is it - see if you can get anyone from the forum to meet up with you; I don't know where in Melbourne you are but there are loads of people down there. One of my luckiest moments was the fact that Mrs Dagboy met up with me when I arrived - gave me a life outside the family, which is wht you miss from the UK. Don't give up, stick it out, I know you say you're more an indoor type, so am I, but even if you just go to the pool or something, try and find somewhere that gets you out each day; or go to the beach, take a deep breath and speak to the person sitting next to you. I'm quite a shy person but I've found that Aussies are very friendly even when they are complete strangers. As Tazzy says, see if you can meet with people your husband works with - try anything!!
I really do know how you feel - its quite normal, I can assure you of that! PM me if you like

And have a think about that idea of JoB's - start a "why I came here scrapbook" - I think thats fabulous, may well do it myself!

Take care and keep smiling - remember, at lest you're with your hubby!!!
Pollyana