Maggie66

Hi, I'm not new to this forum but i've registered under a different name to ask for some very serious advice.
I'm a very 'normal' person, living in Oz for the past few years and settling in nicely. Initially we met up with another POM family.......a bit strange and not regarded too highly by others but we socialized a little. Well, boy were people right about them!! The woman is crazy......I won't go into details but some of her 'activities' are seriously threatening my children's safety and my sanity-even though we have nothing to do with them now and haven't for years. Has anyone had to use the services of a Private Investigator in the UK whilst over here?? It's a long shot but I can't believe this woman left the UK without leaving a history of some kind.

All a bit vague I know but I wouldn't be asking for help unless I was totally desperate!

Thanks, Maggie

Wol

Sorry to hear of your problems - there *are* a lot of unbalanced people around and it's unfortunate when their activities start impinging on your life.

Without knowing what's going on one can't give advice but it might be worth going to a solicitor straight away and finding out exactly what your rights are and whether getting a court order would help. Hiring a UK eye might not be helpful at this stage, apart from the expense, although if you need to take it further you might need to.

Good luck!

Spellbound

Have you tried to do your own private eying in the UK using the web.

I find that these 'unusal' people tend to leave a trail behind them usually with someone else commenting on them or there behavious. It could be worth a go in the first instance.

I am 'spying' on someone who owes us money at the moment using the web and have printed off lots of information about this guy spending up big! Hes claiming hes broke. Its really interesting what you can learn about someone.

I think the saying is keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Centurion

As a former PI it rather sounds like a bit of waste of time (and a huge waste of money) doing a background check on her or the family, it will hardly solve you problems now.

Concentrate more on what you need specifically to achieve right now to resolve the situation, which may include legal action. You should think about documenting any contact, it would be needed in any remedial action you might take most likely.

Maggie66

Oh thanks so much for your replies.....I was worried people would think I was mad!!
Yes we have lawyers, barristers, police, DOCS, the school and the Education Office on the case......everyone involved agrees the woman is crazy, (indeed evil is a word bandied around alot!!) but I just need to know what I'm up against. The whole picture is just too bizarre to not be an isolated incident (another frequently used comment).

I'm interested in the Investigating on the web, I know there's software available but wouldn't know where to start. I did contact a PI in the UK but he was very vague on costs and the kind of info he could get which is why I wondered if anyone had dealt with one long distance. Could you PM me with any tips about DIY snooping????? Good luck with your problem.

Maggie66

Sorry our posts crossed!
Would it not help our case to prove that she is an unsavoury character?

Deutschmaster

If she is threatening your kids' safety then why not call the cops?

asprilla

Just throwing this out there... don't mean to be too alarmist!

Your first port of call should be the authorities, of course.

But also, you need to try and guess the level of risk that this person causes to your family security. If you believe that the risk level is unacceptable, and the authorities are not doing anything about it - then move. If you think that this person really isn't capable of too much - learn to live with it.

If your response is "why should I move? I haven't done anything wrong." - well then simply stay and live with it.

Without knowing the circumstances, the comments above might not really be applicable. Another thing to consider, is that mental illness is common and many people are fearful of those who suffer from mental illness.


Anyway- the authorities are your best bet, best wishes.

Maggie66

Have done many times. They have visited her and said she's crazy!! I've tried and the police have tried to get and AVO out against her but the Magistrate was cautious due to her volatile behaviour and devious methods and said it was better to pursue civil action to not allow her the opportunity to slip thru the net. Trust me I've had an exhaustive year, I'm constantly given support and reassurance by the higher ups but it's all so slow.

moneypenny20

At least you have them involved and they are in agreement about the problem. Nothing worse than everyone saying it's all in your head. Don't know where you go from here, must be a nightmare.

Maggie66

you're not sounding alarmist at all, we wouldn't be the first to move because of her

I guess our hesitation to move has been down to unsettling the kids again and never truly believeing how insane she is til relatively recently.

I can't go into too much detail but moving hasn't proved to be too successful for others at her mercy. It just feels sometimes that the world has gone too Politically Correct-just losing patience waiting for red tape etc

jad n rich

I think if someones behaviour was threatening my children, I would be having a chat with local police. I fear they might just say the usual 'we dont deal with that' but at least you could get some sort of advice.

Edit - read rest of thread, see you tried that and 'we dont deal with that' was the response.

I would say contact them again, we had totally mental neighbours at one property we built, time and time again told " we dont deal with that ' after a while another neighbour got a protection order against him, so obviously that standard line can be bent if they carry on long enough.

PLUS, if your kids are being threatened by her at school, why isnt the school dealing with that??, even talking to someones kids at school is a big NO NO. Very firm guidelines on that!! She cant bug your kids at school or they have to deal with it.

asprilla

keep on their case with constant phone calls, letters, emails. The squeaky wheel always gets the oil.

joho

OMG what a situation to find yourself in. Does she kee bothering you even though you have made it clear you dont want to socialise. I would keep a diary and then go back down the AVO route. My son had one out against another kid due to the kid trying to kill him. the police actully did it without us knowing. He lived opposite and lucky things clamed down but I was a nervous wreck for ages, they have thankfully moved now. Maybe she actully needs a psch assessment. If you know where she used to live you could try approaching old neighbours of hers.

Jo

jad n rich

One thing if you do get a AVO or similar, be prepared for them to lodge one back against you. Seriously, when the neighbs made enough complaints to finally get action against the fruitloop, he just made a huge list of 'alleged' stuff about them and got a order too Police told them that was pretty normal.

Same with a aussie mate of mine, she took one out about the husband so he took one out on her, that was crazy goings on, $56,000 of legal action over 2.5 years, totally mental stuff, one day in the petrol station she starts screaming and pulling off with the petrol pump and me still in the car just cause he drove past Both are now available on dating websites that pair are gonna be some catch