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Have we really given it long enough ????

Have we really given it long enough ????

Old Feb 10th 2012, 8:11 am
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Originally Posted by Vash the Stampede View Post
1 year is a good time for your first serious assessment. 2 years is long enough to know whether or not it'll work long term.

5 months is too early.
Yeah, I'd go with that. I'd would have happily have gone home in the first year, but couldn't really handle the financial implications of doing so. Now, six years in, I can see that it would be been a major mistake to have left so soon.
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Old Feb 10th 2012, 9:33 am
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Dunno, what were you expecting?
What are your options?
Where are your best opportunities at the moment?
Where do you see your lives being in 2, 5, 10, 40 years?

There are pros and cons to staying put and to moving on and everyone's situation is different. It does seem that those who leave after a few months have the largest regret and are more highly represented in the ping pong brigade.

OTOH if what you are doing is banging your head against a brick wall, do you keep on banging it in case that one day it hurts less? You probably will become desensitized to Australia after a year or so but only you will know whether you will "belong" there.

If you can hack it then keep on going but have a time frame for decision making in mind - work out how to make the best of your financial/social/emotional opportunities and act accordingly - keep all your options open.

The only time I would say cut and run is really when you have a better offer elsewhere or could walk back into pretty much the life you have left and you have kids who are at that critical stage on the educational merry-go-round. Otherwise, treat this as an adventure and make a date in the future to decide on where next.

Good luck - and if you decide to pull the plug to move on to something better then good for you!
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Old Feb 10th 2012, 10:43 am
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Originally Posted by iamthecreaturefromuranus View Post
Yeah, I'd go with that. I'd would have happily have gone home in the first year, but couldn't really handle the financial implications of doing so. Now, six years in, I can see that it would be been a major mistake to have left so soon.
Me too, but I think if I'd suggested it to my OH I'd have been going home in a box.

We could do it now, but I don't want to.

We stuck it out for citizenship in the beginning and were lucky enough to have arrived when it was a 2 year limit.

At the moment we have no inclination to go back, but it's not something that I can guarantee that we wouldn't do in the future.

My saddest experiences of Australia have been meeting either the parents, or the offspring of those parents, where the parents brought their families out here yonks ago and then went back when the job situation was bad.

The children had a taste of Australia, and grew up to emigrate here to give their children the childhood they had while they were here.

By that time, the parents (who hadn't taken out citizenship before returning to their 'home' country) were too old or too poor to get visas to come back to live here, and have ended up with their families on the other side of the world.

No matter what, I would always advise people to stick it out and get at least an RRV before chucking the towel in.

I'd also say that if you don't like the state/area that you're in, try another state/area rather than just going back.

My 2c two glasses of wine, and counting....

MG
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Old Feb 10th 2012, 12:59 pm
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

I had a wobbly after 6 months and booked return flights and went back to UK after 8. I really regreted that and wished I was back in OZ after all the expense, time and effort of getting there. Wanted to cancel return flights just before we left as I was more settled but kids were set on going back.
Trouble is if it was just myself and wife we would be back over there but my 13 and 18 year old are not budging from the UK, too complicated now.
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Old Feb 10th 2012, 1:58 pm
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

We came back to the UK after 5 months in Perth and in my opinion it's too soon. I'll PM you the rest!

x
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Old Feb 10th 2012, 10:09 pm
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

We've been here for 2.5 years and are only just feeling like its home.
IMHO you need to give it longer. See how you feel in a year, those extra months can make a huge difference like making friends and feeling more confident in where you are.
J x
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Old Feb 13th 2012, 8:38 pm
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

I'm pretty sure that the orginal 'Ten Pound Poms' had to stay two years or repay the cost of the ticket in full?

I seem to recall reading somewhere too, that of the million or so who came out, a quarter went back to the UK, but then half of that quarter went back to Australia again - and stayed!
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Old Feb 13th 2012, 9:29 pm
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Originally Posted by debs1966 View Post
Hi Guys

Not posted on here for awhile with trying to get myself into my new life in Oz and what a roller coaster of ride it has been.

One minute me saying I want to go home and then my partner saying he does I feel like a damn well yo yo most days.

We have been here in Perth for 5 months and yes have we seriously given it long enough this is the big question?

After all that hard work to get here to throw the towel in so soon seems such a waste.

If we did go back to the UK our visa ends in June so couldnt get back in not even on a Resident Returns Visa because we havent been here 2 years out of the 5 years.

There is a part of me that is saying stop acting like a whinging POM and get on with it even for another 18 months at least that way if we do go back we can say we have given it a good go and we can get RRV for a further 5 years.

So difficult as to know what to do at times sorry for the whinge ....

Debs
What you haven't said is why you want to go back. Homesick for family? Don't like the weather? Missing Sainsburys? Missing Coronation St? Can't make new friends?

There are solutions for all these, except possibly missing your family. But no-one can suggest a solution if they don't know the problem.

Presumably it cost you a fair amount to get out here: you don't want to write that off without trying to make it work.
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Old Feb 14th 2012, 12:24 pm
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Originally Posted by Jaycee1 View Post
We've been here for 2.5 years and are only just feeling like its home.
IMHO you need to give it longer. See how you feel in a year, those extra months can make a huge difference like making friends and feeling more confident in where you are.
J x
I think it takes 2 years to settle and for it to feel like home.

Back to the original post, 5 months is not long enough really. As someone else mentioned, after 5 months the excitement and newness is rubbing off. Going through the whole moving from the UK to Australia thing is such an emotional roller-coaster ride that when it suddenly all settles down and there is nothing left to do it is only natural to feel a little down.

If you can stick it out this period passes soon enough for the majority.
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Old Feb 14th 2012, 8:57 pm
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

we was in oz for only nearly 6 months looking back i wished we stayed longer my wife never settled ,she could not find any teaching job so she wanted to come back ,i really wanted to stay longer
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Old Feb 14th 2012, 11:48 pm
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Lightbulb Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

When I moved to the UK it took me 2 years to settle.

At 6 months the shine was off and I was desperate to bring my return date forward (I had seen Birmingham in broad daylight, and vomited). But by that time I was in a relationship, so I gritted my teeth and hung on.

At 12 months I allowed my return ticket to lapse. It was painful, but worthwhile in the end.
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Old Feb 15th 2012, 1:27 am
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Originally Posted by debs1966 View Post
We have been here in Perth for 5 months and yes have we seriously given it long enough this is the big question?
No, you haven't given it long enough. Wait two years and if you still feel uneasy... go home to the UK, with the option of coming back if you change your mind.

Alternatively, you could go home now, and risk the possibility that 4 weeks later you'll want to return, but can't...

Search through this forum for "ping pong poms"..
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Old Feb 15th 2012, 2:31 am
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Originally Posted by KJCherokee View Post
What you haven't said is why you want to go back. Homesick for family? Don't like the weather? Missing Sainsburys? Missing Coronation St? Can't make new friends?
Mainly her partner being homesick, according to another thread.

I say move back to the UK, you'll then figure out soon enough if you all have a big pull to living in Australia and if the homesick feeling is real or ungrounded. Expensive way of working it out though.

You as a family are the ones that have to decide though, don't try to find justification of whatever decision you make based on comments from random strangers on a forum.
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Old Feb 15th 2012, 2:42 am
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Originally Posted by roaringmouse View Post
Mainly her partner being homesick, according to another thread.

I say move back to the UK, you'll then figure out soon enough if you all have a big pull to living in Australia and if the homesick feeling is real or ungrounded. Expensive way of working it out though.

You as a family are the ones that have to decide though, don't try to find justification of whatever decision you make based on comments from random strangers on a forum.
I think you missed this bit:

Originally Posted by debs1966 View Post

If we did go back to the UK our visa ends in June so couldnt get back in not even on a Resident Returns Visa because we havent been here 2 years out of the 5 years.
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Old Feb 15th 2012, 3:26 am
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Default Re: Have we really given it long enough ????

Why did you come out here in the first place? There must have been something which made you decide to pack up your life in the UK and move halfway round the world - what was it? Is it that what you have found in Australia is not what you thought you were coming to?

If you are homesick for people, like for example your husband was used to living near his mum and seeing her once or twice a week, then that can be hard to get over - but phone calls are cheap, as is Skype and emails, in fact I probably spoke to my mum more often in my first few years here than when I lived in England! Homesick for places - I moved around the UK a lot before I left so I never really got attached to one place and don't understand that type of homesickness even though I know it happens.

Obviously the decision is up to the two of you, but I think that 5 months is too short a time to really find out what you think about your new life - but it doesn't matter how long you stay if you can't do it with the intention to look for all the positives and minimise the negatives (or find a way to turn them into positives, or at least neutrals). You spent quite a bit of money getting over here and setting up - make sure you're not throwing that away without getting the best value out of it.
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