Theyes

We've just come back from the UK and we both feel "detached" from living here. We've been here 14 years and have been back to the UK a few times and were glad to come back "home", for some reason this time we don't. I don't know if it's because for the whole time we were there, my OH's parents stayed with us in a holiday let we'd rented, his Dad has mild vascular dementia and his mum has lost a few of her marbles, but is still sharp enough to get her own way, it wasn't a pleasant experience as a few things went on that caused problems for us, although they were both oblivious to the chaos they caused. My in-laws said they had a wonderful and relaxing time and they wished that we lived back in the UK as they missed us so much as their other son did nothing for them (which we have found out is not the case). I think we are being guilt tripped into going back, has anybody had this happen to them

quoll

Sort of. It's probably not intentional guilt tripping but you seeing your olds struggle and you may know deep in your heart that you should be doing more for them. I think the "it'd be nice if you were here" was probably more of a "we love you" kind of moment - after all they could hardly say "we will be glad when you bugger off back to Australia and leave us to our own devices " now, could they?

We came back to UK on holiday and didn't return. No brainer, my then 87 year old parents were doing it tough and it would have taken a far harder heart than my granite one to leave them alone and I don't have siblings (even then I am not sure I would have wished it on a sibling)

Bottom line though, only go if you want to go, you'll get over any guilt tripping if there was any but you may find it harder to deal with any self generated guilt you may feel. Good luck - elderly parents are no picnic.