farrierswife

Spent last night talking ourselves silly into weather we are doing the right thing, move is pending house sale.
Things that are bothering us are we have never been before and hope it meets our expectations.
We know there is work there so thats a plus.
To do is reccie would just cost too much.
We have a nice life here but just find we lose 6 months of the year indoors due to the weather, but seems almost too dastric to move to the other side of the world just for weather.
I have 5 littles ones, eldest 11 and in the summer thet virtually live outdoors and are all little fish, lifeguarding etc here, another plus for the move.
We would like to be mortgageless out there but hours on realesate show to match what we have here we won't be, but thats not the end of the world.
Probably will build due to requirements but are put off by the tales on here about paper house.We are currently in a stone cottage so don't want to end up in a lightweight house?!
Don't want to go over there with the attitude of that we can always come back as need to start off we a positive view to stay.
I don't know if it is bit of sun in the uk and you end up thinking well its not that bad here, better the devil you know and all that.
Just trying to take off the OH's rose tinted glasses and then end up questioning my self
Sorry for the ramble on just wondering if anyone else feels/felt like this?

Buzzy--Bee

Yes. Majorly. However we're going, whatever. We have the visa, sold the house, flights booked. But I still lie awake at night thinking "what if I dont get a job", "What if Mrs Buzzy doesn't settle" etc etc.

Here's what I've done to cope -

- Start a folder on your PC called "Motivation".
- Write 2 lists, one called "positives about Oz", one called "Negatives about UK" and put them in this folder. Every time something annoys you about the UK, ad it to the UK list, every time you hear something you like the sound of about Oz, put it in the Oz list.
- add to the folder, pictures of Oz beaches, pictures of UK rainy pavements.
- also add anything motivational you find, such as links to threads on this site or other websites that make you feel good about the move.

Then refer to the above each time you wobble.



Buzzy

farrierswife

Thanks for the reply, trying not to sound to bleak and clearly stamping on those tinted glasses, we need to move beyoung weather and beaches.
Negatives in the uk at the moment, OH hours are too long to pay the mortgage, could downsize but like what we have here and need the space with the family, may need mortgage in oz so maybe in same boat.....too amny maybe's
Schooling is excellant where we are, will it be the same in oz, enough educated ozzies so must be ok.
How long does it take to find the right area(major concern) as eldest is 11 so wont be able to unsettle her to many more times,shes wobbled through the whole process.
I understand you need to 'wobble' to be realistic but how much is acceptable?

Buzzy--Bee

I know of people who have had to be medically treated for the physiological effects of their wobbles.



Buzzy

farrierswife

Bring on the white coats now the way my heads spinning!

What_a_life

yes. I also feel like you do . We are waiting for our visa,have done all the hard stuff,so just waiting and waiting.... just like everyone else here ;-). Its only really the last week or so that things are finally beginning to sink in ,that (hopefully)in the next couple of months we will be starting a new life. For me my main concern is the kids,3 and nearly 6 yrs. My son loves his school,and has loads of friends,and is doing really well. I know that Oz schools are meant to be very good with high standards,but I worry about how he will settle in,and I worry that I am being selfish,even tho its the kids that are our main motivation to move(the hope of giving them a better lifestyle with more oportunities)
I also worry about how I will feel when I have to say goodbye to all my good friends,but then I tell myself thats what webcams are for ;-)
I think the thing that is worrying me the most,is my fear of spiders. It seems to me there isnt a family living in Oz that havent found a spider the size of a small child in their home,some on a regular basis.OMG! Some have found them in their car.Honestly,if I think about that too much it makes me have more than the wobbles lol.
Still,sure it will be fine and I wont even see one myself,I find it helpful to repeat this 145 times a day.
I think we all feel the same,to various degrees,even when deep down we are really excited,and looking forward to it.
Good luck with it all,and am sure within a couple of months of getting there you will be sooooo glad you did it,and never look back

farrierswife

Just off the phone to the OH who said we wouldn't be normal if we weren't worried,I think the whole thing is so real now its hit home.
Regards your children whatalife they are perfect age for it as its a really adaptable age, so don't worry yourself too much there.

No more wobbling..........for today anyway!

What_a_life

Thank you,its good to have a bit of reassurance. My friends are all behind me,but am not sure if they are just trying to get rid of me,lol.
I think that maybe,and it is only a maybe,the people who just go boldly in,with no concerns,or questioning themselves.are the ones who might have more problems. As sometimes they are so sure that everything is going to be so much better,than when it turns out that it is not like that,they become disillusioned,and their dream falls flat. Some people are just very brave and know what they want,I guess,and go aftre it 100%,with no looking back.


But you are right, no more wobbling today :-))

Ps,where are the smiley face things. Am pretty new to this site,only found it on monday,
Thank you

RooksieJ

Ahhhh rest assured you wouldnt be normal if you didnt have a wobble it cant be that bad kiddo cos we are going back after a ping pong

devilishdean

We are in a similar position. We havent got our Visa yet (imminent I hope) but have sold the house. I think everyone must go through a period of uncertainty its normal.
When I was single I would find myself living in a different country or city before I had time to dwell on the decision, but with a family there is more to consider. I think for us especially my 16 year old son its the waiting thats the problem. He just wants to get on with his new life and leave this one behind.
Hope all goes well.
Andy

What_a_life

Having a family changes everything,I worked abroad several times before I met my oh.It was all fun,and I always thought,well,whats the worse that can happen,if I dont like it I just come back
Now,worse case is,my kids become totally unsettled,and turn into asbo kids,we lose our foothold in uk house market,oh spends the rest of my life reminding me" remember that time you talked me into moving to the other side of the world" LOL!!!!!!!!!!
on a more sreious note,hope your son settles down ok,its tough waiting,we aften forget about the kids who go through it all just as much as we do.
Really hope it all turns out ok!!

farrierswife

We are either normal or stark raving bonkers!

whatalife click on quote and the emotcion thingys come up on the left of your screen

Your right though I think if you don't think from all angles and look at the reality then chances are you will come back.

Its the whole unknown bit thats a worry,the family, making friends etc doesn't bother me,I'm cool with that side its the location bit and house as that was our biggest mistake in NZ

mindblower

Same here, the reality of the sacrifes and standard of living/ comfort zone giving up.

hmmmm


Dave

What_a_life

thanks

Wendy

Come with an open mind, accept it for what it is. Expect nothing and everything more than that is a bonus.

That was my philosophy, and it worked for me. You couldn't pay me enough to go back now.