Friday Funny
May 14th 2004, 1:47 am
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 805
Friday Funny
An oldie but a goody
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
May 14th 2004, 2:04 am
#2
o_0
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Northern Rivers
Posts: 1,642
Alrighty then...
May 14th 2004, 3:55 am
#3
Guest
Posts: n/a
Here's another
Friday funnies great
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1. * I do physical labour
2 * I work at great depths
3 * I plunge head first into everything I do
4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5 * I work in a damp environment
6 * I don't get paid overtime
7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 * I work in high temperatures
9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> >> > Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 * You do not work 8 hours straight
2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working
6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65
9 * You're unable to work double shifts
10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position
before you have completed your shift
11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Mick
Friday funnies great
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1. * I do physical labour
2 * I work at great depths
3 * I plunge head first into everything I do
4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5 * I work in a damp environment
6 * I don't get paid overtime
7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 * I work in high temperatures
9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> >> > Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 * You do not work 8 hours straight
2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working
6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65
9 * You're unable to work double shifts
10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position
before you have completed your shift
11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Mick
May 14th 2004, 6:47 am
#4
yer twistin mi melons man
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 662
Originally posted by mick n cheryl
Here's another
Friday funnies great
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1. * I do physical labour
2 * I work at great depths
3 * I plunge head first into everything I do
4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5 * I work in a damp environment
6 * I don't get paid overtime
7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 * I work in high temperatures
9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> >> > Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 * You do not work 8 hours straight
2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working
6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65
9 * You're unable to work double shifts
10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position
before you have completed your shift
11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Mick
Here's another
Friday funnies great
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1. * I do physical labour
2 * I work at great depths
3 * I plunge head first into everything I do
4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5 * I work in a damp environment
6 * I don't get paid overtime
7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 * I work in high temperatures
9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> >> > Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 * You do not work 8 hours straight
2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working
6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65
9 * You're unable to work double shifts
10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position
before you have completed your shift
11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Mick
LMAO....fANTASTIC..
May 14th 2004, 7:09 am
#5
Rushwood, Thornlands, QLD
Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Thornlands,Bayside, Qld
Posts: 1,864
Originally posted by johanne
LMAO....fANTASTIC..
LMAO....fANTASTIC..
It's Friday...... and the weather forecast looks good.....
love boom
xx
May 14th 2004, 7:13 am
#6
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 12
Hi Boomie
Sorry nothing to do with this thread
Sent you a PM
Regards Longton
Sorry nothing to do with this thread
Sent you a PM
Regards Longton
May 14th 2004, 7:23 am
#7
Rushwood, Thornlands, QLD
Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Thornlands,Bayside, Qld
Posts: 1,864
Originally posted by longton
Hi Boomie
Sorry nothing to do with this thread
Sent you a PM
Regards Longton
Hi Boomie
Sorry nothing to do with this thread
Sent you a PM
Regards Longton
did ya get me reply.....
love boom
xx
May 14th 2004, 7:34 am
#8
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Posts: 10,138
Originally posted by mick n cheryl
Here's another
Friday funnies great
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1. * I do physical labour
2 * I work at great depths
3 * I plunge head first into everything I do
4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5 * I work in a damp environment
6 * I don't get paid overtime
7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 * I work in high temperatures
9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> >> > Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 * You do not work 8 hours straight
2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working
6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65
9 * You're unable to work double shifts
10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position
before you have completed your shift
11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Mick
Here's another
Friday funnies great
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:
1. * I do physical labour
2 * I work at great depths
3 * I plunge head first into everything I do
4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5 * I work in a damp environment
6 * I don't get paid overtime
7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 * I work in high temperatures
9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> >> > Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 * You do not work 8 hours straight
2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order
to start working
6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing
8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65
9 * You're unable to work double shifts
10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position
before you have completed your shift
11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Mick
Reminds me of the PENIS song
May 14th 2004, 7:36 am
#9
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Posts: 10,138
Originally posted by Boomie
It's Friday...... and the weather forecast looks good.....
love boom
xx
It's Friday...... and the weather forecast looks good.....
love boom
xx
Gday Boom Class animation Luvit
<if anyone wants any animations we have about 10,000
just ask and ill post
May 14th 2004, 9:24 am
#10
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7,949
I like the true Winston Churchill one which appeared elsewhere. When told his fly was undone he quickly replied 'dead birds don't fall out of their nest'.
OzTennis
OzTennis
May 14th 2004, 10:12 am
#11
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 805
Got this one sent to me today
Wait for it!!!
Wait for it!!!
