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Friday Funny
An oldie but a goody:)
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" |
Alrighty then...:eek:
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Here's another:D
Friday funnies great;) I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: 1. * I do physical labour 2 * I work at great depths 3 * I plunge head first into everything I do 4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays 5 * I work in a damp environment 6 * I don't get paid overtime 7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation 8 * I work in high temperatures 9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases > >> > Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: 1 * You do not work 8 hours straight 2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods 3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team 4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas 5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working 6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift 7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing 8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65 9 * You're unable to work double shifts 10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position before you have completed your shift 11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. Sincerely, The Management Mick :) |
Originally posted by mick n cheryl Here's another:D Friday funnies great;) I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: 1. * I do physical labour 2 * I work at great depths 3 * I plunge head first into everything I do 4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays 5 * I work in a damp environment 6 * I don't get paid overtime 7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation 8 * I work in high temperatures 9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases > >> > Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: 1 * You do not work 8 hours straight 2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods 3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team 4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas 5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working 6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift 7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing 8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65 9 * You're unable to work double shifts 10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position before you have completed your shift 11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. Sincerely, The Management Mick :) LMAO....fANTASTIC.. |
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Originally posted by johanne LMAO....fANTASTIC.. It's Friday...... and the weather forecast looks good..... love boom xx |
Hi Boomie
Sorry nothing to do with this thread Sent you a PM Regards Longton |
Originally posted by longton Hi Boomie Sorry nothing to do with this thread Sent you a PM Regards Longton did ya get me reply..... love boom xx |
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Originally posted by mick n cheryl Here's another:D Friday funnies great;) I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: 1. * I do physical labour 2 * I work at great depths 3 * I plunge head first into everything I do 4 * I do not get weekends off or public holidays 5 * I work in a damp environment 6 * I don't get paid overtime 7 * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation 8 * I work in high temperatures 9 * My work exposes me to contagious diseases > >> > Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: 1 * You do not work 8 hours straight 2 * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods 3 * You do not always follow the orders of the management team 4 * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas 5 * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working 6 * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift 7 * You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing 8 * You'll retire well before reaching 65 9 * You're unable to work double shifts 10 * completed the day's work You sometimes leaveyour allocated position before you have completed your shift 11 * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. Sincerely, The Management Mick :) Reminds me of the PENIS song :) |
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Originally posted by Boomie It's Friday...... and the weather forecast looks good..... love boom xx Gday Boom Class animation Luvit <if anyone wants any animations we have about 10,000 :) just ask and ill post :) |
I like the true Winston Churchill one which appeared elsewhere. When told his fly was undone he quickly replied 'dead birds don't fall out of their nest'. :D
OzTennis :) |
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Got this one sent to me today:)
Wait for it!!! |
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