Fly Away

If he considers bikes more important than visiting his child, then so be it. Don't stress, be nice, carry on with your plans.

A few years down the line, you may be surprised what happens.

Kooky.

You never know, his priorities may change when he realises what he's missing.

edit: Snap!

tum

I hope so!! I have a saying in Dutch that I use (also regarding
my dad) which I will try to translate:

In Dutch it is: 'erger je niet aan het voorspelbare' which would be
in English 'don't get annoyed by the predictable things in life'

Maybe there's a saying in English which sums that up, but I don't know it.

Miranda

HullyBullys

Exactly.

Fly Away

LOL. Great minds think alike.

Also remember, the better you behave the worse those who spit the dummy look. Sometimes, this is all that is needed to make them think and examine their behaviour. If they don't come round, then it's their loss - you will be too far away to care.

Kapri

My folks aren't happy we're going but they say they'll save up to come and see us.
My MIL was upset and said "I won't be coming out to see you".
Her loss.

tayella

Tip em b*ll*cks mate.
Weve got a weird set of family around us.
We aint got time for any of them.
My Family live in the same house as me so the rest can go and do one.
They even interfeared in our Wedding plans so we popped on a plane to Cyprus and did it without em.
Its certainly true you can choose your friends...........................

holsie0

Family have been good apart from SIL. Might have something to do with us hoping for Oz and FIL off to Cyprus to retire
Thought my main problem would be my father who relied on mother for everything until she passed away and now is reliant on me, GOD he has never even flown before but has said he will in order to see the boys He has grasped the idea and is totally backing us because it is for is grand kids future Total surprise but big respect

brissydeb

My family were a bit funny at first but have come round to the idea. As others have said give it time and I'm sure they will get used to the idea.

Debbie

mark 'n' joe

my family dont talk about it at all. Marks mum and stepdad have been pretty good and say they dont blame us, they spend 6 months a year in Florida anyway. When I told my family we had the visa they never even acknowledged it and Mark told his bro we had some good news that we had got the visa and he said "why is that good news". We know that my family will never visit. They have never flown and dont want to and my dad has heart probs. Marks mum and stepdad will come and we think that will be it. Never mind, its our life and we have to try and live it how we want to.

Sorry ive gone on a bit. Good luck Its a good job we have BE so that we can talk to people who understand what we are going through.

Joexxx

ShozInOz

Some families become emotionally enmeshed and it sounds like this is what may have happened, on their sides at least. I guess the ideal response is where family genuinely feels that what is best for you is what is best, and wishes you well but acknowledged that they will miss you deeply. My family are like that though don't really express the last bit (not sure they really feel it either as I've never lived in their pockets). Trouble seems to start when other family members get together and unite against you. It sounds like this is what has happened here with your OH's family, who are basically playing "Look how you've hurt me! Now I'll hurt you back".

My advice, for what its worth, is just to keep your side of the street clean. Don't get embroiled in emotional warfare, whether that be cutting off contact or pandering to them. Simply maintain your own integrity and express that you are sorry that they feel that way, that you will miss them, but you'll keep in touch. And carry on with your plans for your family. It's hard not to get involved in this kind of thing, but it is really important to leave with no regrets and knowing that you have done the right thing.

Kapri

Excellent advice

Sally Simpson

I think that this is absolutely the point Joe. This is our own lives we are leading, no-one else's & we can only make decisions based on what is right for us as individuals & our immediate family where applicable. The feelings of all & sundry just cannot come into it!

To the OP, hopefully this was just a kneejerk reaction & the family will come round. Good luck

WelshSarah

As we only decided to come to Australia properly in November its been a bit of a shock for our families!!!

My parents are older ( mid 70s & not too well) and they are really really upset at the prospect of me going. They rely on me quite a lot and they have cried a bit in the last few weeks since i dropped the bombshell.

However they are both 100% supportive of us & the reasons we are leaving. My brother & sister are both shellshocked but behind me also.

Husbands family are a bit more reserved in their reaction!!! Seem ok but i cant really tell, but i suppose no news is good news eh!!

I am dreading the party but know what i have to do.....

i love my family but my boys are my future and i am doing this for them.


See you on the other side!!

aussiedreamer

Hi

My OH family didn't take the news well at all, my family were better but didn't want us to go.

With all of them it didn't really sink in until we got the Visa and the house sold. Luckily it was through the school holidays and my sisters made the most of the time they had with us and we spent most of the summer together (something i will always remember).

My OH's family decided to ignore us not call not be in when we called hang up if we did catch them. In the end we just turned up one Sunday and told them we move out the house next Friday, still don't think they took it in as the following Saturday they called to say they were coming up to stay duhhhhh.

We spent three days with them before we left, we gave them a laptop set up with skype. We left in September i skype my Mum and sisters about three times a week, OH's parents haven't got broadband sorted as think it extortianate and a waste of money.
They have ignored us since October and we have had no contact with them, OH called on Christmas Day and finally got hold of them, when they spoke to the Kids they all cut them short as they wanted to speak and see Grandma on Skype and show her them opening their presents.

From our experience you just have to get on with YOUR LIFE and do whats best for you. If they don't accept it try not to beat yourself up about it, i know my OH has at times. Life is too short to hold a grudge and not to speak, we have tried everything to make the transition here easier for all those we left in the UK some of it's worked because the people concerned want it to work other bits don't because they want to be a martyr.

Jane and Andi