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Familys Reaction To The News

Familys Reaction To The News

Old Dec 28th 2007, 12:14 pm
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Default Familys Reaction To The News

The wife told here Dad and sister on Sunday that we are moving to Oz. Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell them, two days before Xmas, but their reaction has confused me.

Her parents are divorced and remarried and she told her mum previously and she was ok with it but obviously upset.

That sunday night, they said they where obviously upset but do whats best for you. Then when the sister spoke to here mum on Xmas day she started coming out with some rash comments. She had been colluding with her dad since and some of the comments they made have made me quite mad.

Her dad has apparantly stated that he wont babysit anymore and he will now minimise contact with his grandkids to make the split from him easier.:curse:

BO%@#!KS. He must of only seen them about 10 times this year and non of them where activities with the kids, just when babysitting where he sees them for 10 hour then puts them to bed or at family functions where he would interact with them for half an hour. Her sister even came out with that we haven't considered the effect on her girl (cousin to ours).

Well no we haven't actually. We have thought about what is right for our family. :curse::curse::curse:

Has anyone else had issues with relatives after breaking the news?
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 12:17 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Originally Posted by HullyBullys View Post
The wife told here Dad and sister on Sunday that we are moving to Oz. Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell them, two days before Xmas, but their reaction has confused me.

Her parents are divorced and remarried and she told her mum previously and she was ok with it but obviously upset.

That sunday night, they said they where obviously upset but do whats best for you. Then when the sister spoke to here mum on Xmas day she started coming out with some rash comments. She had been colluding with her dad since and some of the comments they made have made me quite mad.

Her dad has apparantly stated that he wont babysit anymore and he will now minimise contact with his grandkids to make the split from him easier.:curse:

BO%@#!KS. He must of only seen them about 10 times this year and non of them where activities with the kids, just when babysitting where he sees them for 10 hour then puts them to bed or at family functions where he would interact with them for half an hour. Her sister even came out with that we haven't considered the effect on her girl (cousin to ours).

Well no we haven't actually. We have thought about what is right for our family. :curse::curse::curse:

Has anyone else had issues with relatives after breaking the news?
sod them all...you do what you feel is best for your immediate family...if they dont like it then tough...dont feel guilty go for it xxxxx
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 12:46 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Sod them indeed. Sometimes you have to be selfish.

Without going into great detail, my family had relied heavily on me for about ten years, to the detriment of my own life. When I met my husband, got married, and decided to make a new start overseas and give our marriage a chance (2nd marriage for both of us), I foolishly thought my family would be pleased for me as I'd had twelve tough years of mostly singledom.

Instead I got, from my mother, "How can you do this to us?". I did it, anyway, and have never regretted it for a second. They got over it, although I still occasionally have to sort out their mess from afar.
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 12:55 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Exactly what i think.

sod em all

Maybe it was just blowing off steam after hearing the news and they will come round.

Saying that, it wasn't a total shock for here dad.

He babysat 2 months ago and we accidently left some "living in Australia" books about when we went out.

So he had a few months to contemplate the idea
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 12:59 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

I think my news may have been made worse by the fact that, four months earlier, we'd rung them from our holiday in Sydney to wish them "Happy New Year, oh and by the way we got married today".
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:07 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

We told relatines and friends we had started the visa process back in May. I think it is only now that they are coming to terms with it. Perhaps it's a good thing that getting the visa takes so long? Give them time, act normal and don't talk about it all the time - but answer questions if they ask. Things will calm down. It is inevitable that your family will be hurt by your decision. Just be the better person and don't stoop to their level.

To be honest, it has certainly sorted the wheat from the chaff where friends are concerned. We now know who our true friends are.

A funny thing happened on Christmas eve. Friends of ours came round with a present for our 7 yr old. We told them what we were doing months ago - got no response at all. Things carried on as normal. We thought it was their way of dealing with it. Anyway, on Christmas eve they saw the 'for sale' sign up outside the house for the first time and asked why we were selling the house! When we said to move to Australia they were gobsmaked, turns out they never took us seriously....

Maybe we were a little too laid back when we told them.
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:11 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

I personally think, its not reloes that come to terms with it, its us coming to terms with thinking they have terms to come to terms with !!

If that makes sense !


And suffice to say, the reality is, they are stagnant, and so as we move along within a process.. they do not..

So they cannot share enthusiasm, joy or indeed excitement.. in fact they are numb to it all, cos they are selfish bastards..

So do what you gotta do, move and next xmas send the miserable bastard a dirty nappy in the post strapped to a cabbage patch doll, for good measure !!
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:18 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Our friends and family prety cool about it, however none of them believe us, we talk about it and they ignore us, ignorance is bliss!!!!!
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:19 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

We only had 6 weeks from getting a job offer, to applying for visas and moving to Sg. I think we were so busy we didn't have time to worry what most people thought, although one of my best/oldest friends hasn't spoken to me since and I came to the conclusion he was jealous. His loss.

What we get now when we go back once a year, mainly from friends not family, is, "when are you coming back?". They don't seem to believe that we're not.

Thinking of another move now, to Oz. Moving half way 5 years ago should make that one easier to announce.
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:21 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Originally Posted by Timber Floor Au View Post
I personally think, its not reloes that come to terms with it, its us coming to terms with thinking they have terms to come to terms with !!

If that makes sense !


And suffice to say, the reality is, they are stagnant, and so as we move along within a process.. they do not..

So they cannot share enthusiasm, joy or indeed excitement.. in fact they are numb to it all, cos they are selfish bastards..

So do what you gotta do, move and next xmas send the miserable bastard a dirty nappy in the post strapped to a cabbage patch doll, for good measure !!
Like your thinking timber, like it.

Maybe i could include a severed kangaroos head for effect
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:23 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Originally Posted by HullyBullys View Post
Like your thinking timber, like it.

Maybe i could include a severed kangaroos head for effect
nah dont waste food..

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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:28 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Originally Posted by HullyBullys View Post
Her dad has apparantly stated that he wont babysit anymore and he will now minimise contact with his grandkids to make the split from him easier.:curse:
He's really acting like he's a victim, oh, look at me how terrible all of this if for me, I'm the centre of the universe, I obviously hate people who act like that. Ok, he is allowed to feel terrible, and he can tell you that, but for f**ks sake (sorry) leave the kids out of it!! He's an adult and he's behaving like a child!!

Anyway, sorry for the rant, let them get used to the news and let reality sink in...maybe the will turn around...I really hope they do, all the best!! And you're right doing what is best for your family!!!!

Take care,
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:28 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Timber is right about us going through a process and them not. Here's a quote I came across a few years ago, that I think of every year when I'm on my way back from the rellie trip to the UK. I think it sums up this mad expat life we all have (or are planning).

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." - Nelson Mandela
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:33 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Originally Posted by Seasider View Post
Timber is right about us going through a process and them not. Here's a quote I came across a few years ago, that I think of every year when I'm on my way back from the rellie trip to the UK. I think it sums up this mad expat life we all have (or are planning).

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." - Nelson Mandela
Thanks all.

the problem with here dad is that he cant save money to save his life. Hes spends thousands each year on bikes. He has about 10 all a couple of grand each. A holiday for him is a week cycling in Wales in a tent.

So he says he wont be able to visit.

His Loss............
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 1:35 pm
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Default Re: Familys Reaction To The News

Originally Posted by HullyBullys View Post
Thanks all.

the problem with here dad is that he cant save money to save his life. Hes spends thousands each year on bikes. He has about 10 all a couple of grand each. A holiday for him is a week cycling in Wales in a tent.

So he says he wont be able to visit.

His Loss............
He has he strange priority list
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