PoppetUK

Hi there,

I just can't believe this. We've been out here since March and already we seem to be getting our diary booked up with people wanting to visit. I am so surprise because everyone voiced "not sure if we could ever afford to visit". My best friend is talking of visitng (with hubby for a reccie) but I am trying to be open minded in case that doesn't happen. My parents in law want to come for 3 months (ouch!) and my mum is a question mark depending on a hospital appointment. Of course everyone will want to visit during the nicer months.

Has anyone got any tips for scheduling people in. To be honest I would be much more excited if my friend came than my parents in law. I struggle to do 3 days with them but I know for the kids and my husband I have to manage it. Any tips would be appreciated though. I shouldn't make it sound too negitive cos I do miss them to and the kids think the world of them (hopefully hubby and I will also get to go out a little to eat or catch a movie). I am just a bit anxious as we are moving to our new house in a few weeks. Its the length of time that worries me more than anything.

Regards

PoppetUK

why

i can tell you some nightmare "relatives visiting from uk stories".....

few rules:
everyone thinks you are rich
they don't give you any money
they want entertaining all day and everyday
they want three meals a day
they think you are bad if you go to work while they are here
they don't care if you are tired
all they do is talk non stop about the weather (moan too hot too cold!!)
" " " " how it's not like england
too many flies and mozzies, spiders, sharks
won't go out anywhere on their own
blah blah blah

my mum lived here for a year!!! it took a trip back to uk and lots of therapy by the psychologist and nearly my marrige to get over it!!!!
oh and moving into a huge house (with huge mortgage) to accomodate her..
i wanted to "kill" my sisters boyfriend when they visited for smacking one of my kids!!!

as of today we are expecting this year
my mum. a cousin, my dad, my husbands step sister (who he hates and she wants to stay three months!!!), my husbands dad's widow (who also wants to stay three months) so now we have a big house it's "butlins" i don't think i can really give a positive view i find it very stressful to be honest. I love my mum to bits.... and i will enjoy the few weeks she is here...but it will still be stressful.....i am really looking forward to my cousin coming as it's three days... we will have time off work and do the "tourist thing" then off they go to Sydney...great...that will be great..
we have been persuading them to do a trip and only stay with us a few days as we are boring...it has worked..
we have also meet up in Thailand with relatives.. which is great as your all on holiday together and it's fun.....

PoppetUK

Oh great. I shall look forward to it all :0) At least I have already had some sort of therapy / analyst in the past so it wouldn't feel that strange to be back in it!!!!!!

There are so many dynamics to consider when people are visiting. I am going to try and put my parents in law off until January. It will then give me a little bit more time to get the kids into a routine and have our week more planned so I can say. It's Thursday time for playgroup. Saturday swimming etc (that's what we do already so will try and get some regular things in so that I know where I am with everything). If my friend came I think it would be alright. We could do all the kiddy things together and enjoy cooking / eating (bbq), tourist attractions, showing them how life is here.. You know that's for a shorter period so get much more excited. The day we moved out here my parents in law were watching over the kiddies. My son was 14 months at the time and only just walking. When I spotted he had a stick I said to him. No sticks because of the danger and basically got told "we are looking after him not you". Urrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!! God help me hey!!! I reckon part of the plan will be to have once per week analyst to help me through it. I can't think of any other solution. The thing is I do love my parents in law its just the baggage they bring I don't like! They probably think the same of me though I am sure.

username 34

tell them you're not a hotel

tell them they have to pay their way in terms of food

it would be nice if they helped out around the house too

remember you LIVE there and arent on holiday - so its just as if you were back in the UK in that respect

tell them to rent their own car so they can come and go

3 months is ridiculous time to stay - 3 weeks max in our place

if they want longer than 3 weeks tell them to move into a hotel - trust me, you'll get along far better by being honest and doing that than end up nearly killing each other if they stay too long.

PoppetUK

They have told me that they won't be staying here the whole time as they have friends that they will be staying with etc etc. I am just nervous because of there judgement of what I do with the kids. If they come before Xmas it might turn out to be 8 weeks. That's not so bad and I could do with the help with the kiddies. I have made it clear that I want be waiting on them though!!!! I have enough to take car of with my 3 yr old and 18 month old!!! At least they may be able to watch over them whilst I nip to the supermarket etc. Some things will be easier.

username 34

ooh yes - the judgmental parenting views ..... its certainly more intense as they're with you all the time so see everything.

but you're the parents, you do as you see fit, and dont even worry about their opinions on that - you know how happy your little ones are.

Centurion

Relatives visiting =

They are on holiday and you should be grateful they came all that way to stay with you for a month.

You should show this by entertaining them, going out to eat every night and other holiday things despite the fact "they dont want to be any bother".

Its OK for them to compare everything to back home in the UK to any Australian person they meet to an embarassing level of predictability.

The fact that you might have to go to work or do anything on a day to day level is bizzare as they are only there for a short while.

None of the above you think will happen of course and there will be reassurances that it wont.

Frankly - if someone suggested coming to stay with me for 3 months I'd ask if they would also like my first born, an organ of thier choice and which limb instead. It would be less painful

Nu-Shooz

Having rellies over is nice, but only for a while. When i came to Perth to visit my relatives, we stayed in a Backpackers place. It was great. I hate being under everbodies feet!! Need my own space.

biggy

few rules:
everyone thinks you are rich
they don't give you any money
they want entertaining all day and everyday
they want three meals a day
they think you are bad if you go to work while they are here
they don't care if you are tired
all they do is talk non stop about the weather (moan too hot too cold!!)
" " " " how it's not like england
too many flies and mozzies, spiders, sharks
won't go out anywhere on their own
blah blah blah

My rellies stayed with you too

butch&shell

My parents are coming out in October which I can't wait for, we have been here since November and their are staying for a month. Their flight back to the UK is at 11.30pm and my mother-in-law lands the following day at 6.20pm for 3 months. She is travelling on her own and she is in her's 70's. Looking forward to our vistiors but I wish there was a bit of a break between my parents leaving and MIL coming. My partner's brother and wife are also thinking about coming out in Jan/Feb time too........

Fiona&malc

god, that is sooo true !!!! last lot of visitors we had and i was starting to think i was cinderella !! all i did was cook constantly, and do everyones washing, and drop people off at places and pick them up etc etc, we ended up skint after the last lot, dont have any more now until mar/april next year (at the moment) but its tiring !!!


edit: mind you all i do at the moment is cook, clean, waash, drop kids off pick them etc etc....