Davelynd7

After 2yrs of waiting with visa, and 1yr with house on market & only 5 viewers... we've just changed agent (again!! .... and 2days later a full offer smacked us in the face.....and they can move in 6wks...aaaghhhhhhh!!!

so after being frustrated and 'in limbo' for so long, its now suddenly like we have to go to 5th gear, and Hubby's suddenly getting cold feet -
He's wondering why he wasnt dancing around when he took the agent's call with the offer... said he felt like 'oh, is that it'...?.. and now he's having doubts/2nd thoughts if its right thing to do.... doesnt know if hes doing the right thing (Im ok, went thro that phase months ago!!! and I DO feel more postiive (but would be lying if said was 100 percent sure...)

can you guys advise please - is this a natural 'reaction' @ this stage in the game, that everyone experiences???.... or are we having a reality check, etc.... or what is it...!!! We're so confused...?????!! He-llp please.

PS we're going to the Sunshine Coast (if we stop wobbling)!! Cheers!

thebears

Its all perfectly natural - we have all been through it.

What your subconscious has probably realised is that the hard part is ahead of you.

But there are plenty of us already here to lend a hand

Kiwi

Vernons

Hi we are flying out on the 6th of September and I have to say our emotions are up and down the closer to the date we get. This place seems better in the sun but the winter will soon be upon us and we will be glad to have excaped it, we also believe OZ is going to be a great place to raise a family and we are looking forward to more outdoors lifestyle. This forum has also helped as hearing so many success stories reminds us why it is worth all the hard work and scary moments. It is a massive move and we can understand your fears as we have gone through them and questioned whether or not it is worth it, especially as family are not supportive, but no regrets is better than wondering what if. Good luck with whatever you decide, we are heading to the Sunshine coast too and are really hoping that we can get a job there as it is our dream location.
Good luck

Cheetah7

Im terrified myself and I showed my husband this post.

Today I started to worry about if we cant get jobs, if one of us is ill, if my family get ill, what kind of old age would we have in Oz, what kind of old age would we have in the UK?

And if we never went, would our lives be better for not going?

Anyway, hubby read your post and we chatted about my fears which I reckon are normal last minute wobbles.

I have never not wanted to go, Im just nervous of the future as it is uncertain in so many ways.

From a mans point of view, hubby reckons your husband is going through his own set of 'wobbles' and he can see why he feels like it.

Some of us admit it, some of us dont and some of us dont feel that way.

Either way, you are not alone.

I will feel better myself when we have the visa and flights are booked and although I am scared, I cant wait for each stage to begin and the challenge of starting again.

I hope he feels better and good luck in your new life.

Samantha

robos

I am definitely having second thoughts, Jan the wife is not! (mmmm is this a bloke thing). I sympathise with your hubby because apart from the initial decision to apply for the visas i have been 100 per cent for it. Now though it is a very different matter. I suppose it is only natural to have doubts though and at the end of the day if we weren't determined to do it then we wouldn't have struggled through all of the stress that the whole migration application involves would we? people dont refer to this being a roller coaster ride for nothing you know (LOL)
Gaz.

Cheetah7

Karma sent to you - I dont know if its blank or not.

I reckon I will be orgasmically happy when the visa comes.


Then comes the next stage of the planning.

joanneS

Totally understand what your going through! We are just waiting for the house sale to go through should be leaving mid Sept. We have just been sorting out our leaving party and we have at least 150 family and friends to invite! so yeh our thoughts are What the hell are we doing leaving so many people to go to the other side of the world and know hardly anyone and so little about the country but then something keeps telling us we're doing it for a better future hopefully, if not for us than for our children to grow up in. Unfortunately this country has gone to the dogs and unless your mega rich in England your children haven't much hope of having their own home etc. so we're going to give it a try and at if it don't work out then at least we can say we tried it and if we don't do it now maybe we will always wonder the "if only" and have many regrets. Hope this makes sense, I think we are all going through the same emotions!
Good luck to all of you
Jo x

Mid Lifer.

I know what your Hubby is going through>Its called PANIC.With me it just seems to be an ever ending list of things to do.Right now I'm having a break from cleaning stuff for the packers.Three times I nearly said "Sod this ,the stuffs going in dirty and I'll pay the bloody fumigation charge".Ongoing is phoning people up telling them about our leaving do.Keep having nightmares about that .I KNOW some pal is gonna force me up to the mike to do a speech .And I'll probably blub for 3 or 4 minutes.Now we got this terrorist crap to deal with too.No hand luggage and all that.
But it will be worth it in the end ,just to see my 4 year olds face when he sees"real waves" on the Sunshine Coast

jad n rich

People always post this just before they leave, maybe the now real situation of no home, no job sinks in its no longer a 'dream' from your comfy home, its furk what have I done.

Usually followed by a euphoric 'lovely' phase where its all new and holiday like, then some hard graft finding jobs and coming to terms with the the real bits like its expensive here too and we still have scum going on.

Then it goes two ways you settle into the day to day routine enjoying it, or some have the day to day routine and have doubts about what they have done for real.

You just have to go through all the stages and see where you come out. Sunshine coast is certainly lovely, beaches are the best, just stick to the patrolled surf with little kids.

JohnR

Hi, we (Wife and two daughters 14 & 6) have been in Brisbane now for 3 weeks. Now, after the initial stage of making that decision to come here to confirmation of the flights, renting the house, sorting out insurance, cancelling almost everyting, sorting out the bank and all the direct debits...the list goes on and on stage 2 kicked in leaving family and friends saying your goodbyes at the airport. Then theres the flight, we came through LA and New Zealand can't think of a longer trip. Now that we are here, stage 3 is upon us, the knowledge we can't easily return to the UK even if we wanted to. That comfort factor of living in the UK, knowing the UK system, how it all works is a long way away now.

Being plunged into a new and completely different way of life is daunting and stressful. I believe that everyone goes through all the uncertainty we certainly have and still are even though we are on Aus soil. Selling your house is a stage further than we have gone and probably is, in the long run, better as it is more final. To have property in the UK leaves you thinking well we'll give it a go for a while, we can always return. To have an escape route probably goes against you when trying to settle.

Hopefully for us time is the answer we can only wait. Brisbane is a lovely place and if it doesn't work out then we can always say we gave it a go. The statement 'You only live once' seems to be that one line that keeps us going through the stages. Not meant to be a negative post I'm just stating that it is a huge undertaking and isn't easy. You'll never make a bigger decision but will probably be the best one you'll ever make.

Hope all works out for you

DunRoaminTheUK

I had exactly the same reaction as your hubby when we received our pre-grant email (we never received a letter) and when we sold the house. It's a completely normal reaction, based upon what a lot of people have said on BE.

I was almost hoping for a reason not to go, just before we left but I am SO, SO glad that we made the move because Brisbane is a great place. It's analagous to jumping off the highest board at the swimming pool when you were a kid. You would spend ages trying to talk yourself out of it but once you jumped you realised it was quite easy and that you were very glad you did it after all.

I don't think that there is too much to worry about on the job front. I am in IT and I've only been looking for 1 week and I have 1 competency test tomorrow, which precedes the client interview and I've got another agency that wants to put me straight through to interview immediately after meeting with her, which is also tomorrow. I haven't got the job yet but I do seem to be getting offered interviews.

To be honest I'm not home sick at all and even when I do think about the UK it doesn't affect me in any way, shape or form.

In summary, when everything becomes "serious" it would seem that fear gets the better of everyone. It's no longer a romantic notion taking place somewhere in the near future but instead it becomes a concrete plan with defined dates and events of significance and finality (such as moving out of your house).

My advice would be to be brave and take the plunge because with hindsight it's really hard to see what the big-deal was, after you get here and start to settle a little.

Hutch

From reading these forums for the last few years, I'd say (though it's a generalisaiton of course) that the blokes have their wobbles before they go and the ladies post-arrival.

davykaz

I second this,I do feel bad for hijacking someones comment but they have said exactly what has gone thro my haedas ive been reading all the comments (sorry Jo)

good luck
Davy

BadgeIsBack

Yup, it's how you deal with the stuff after the 'lovely' phase that makes it in the end!!! Top tip: forget all the lovely stuff and come out with a good attitude and flexibility and a keen sense of perspective and focus..and wait and see.

Australia_bound?

My only current doubt is will we ever get to the point where we can actually apply for a visa. I think IF we do get one there will be a few doubts just before we go as it's a massive step. We're lucky to have family on the other side which will help us enormously, I'd be really afraid if we where just going to land somewhere that we'd never been and didn't know anyone :scared: