jayr

..and I'm not even a Badger, I'm an echidna which means..."

bondipom

Bondipom is a grumpy wombat from being touched by a ginger and punched by the Echidna. Fed up with his lot Bondi scurried off to his burrow to log onto the forum and down some scotch. Next there was a knock at the door and:

jayr

The soon to be Princess Mary Schlewsig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg was there looking bedraggled.

"I have left my prince as I couldn't stand the taste of bacon in Denmark. How do you like your breakfast...?"

She said, stroking BondiPom's scrotum

(note for readers who are not looking at all posts see the BondiDane thread)

bondipom

"I prefer my eggs unfertilised and so does Mrs Bondi" who comes storming through and flying kicks Dane through the window. Then riding along on his trusty steed arrives:"

jayr

Prince Harry, fresh from his vist to Taronga Zoo
"Good day, How are you going this fine 'arvo, "
"I am a jackass, no..err... a kangaroo... I mean a jackaroo and I'm here to party, anyone got any Rizzla?"

Ceri

from... letting her snarling guard cats off their leads to attack the hungry mob...

Meanwhile back at the beach Harry the Ginge who was feeling very rejected after being dumped by bondipom spots another person in the surf. He jumps in and drags the man out... My gawd it's Harold Holt, who has been bobbing around in the surf for the past 30 odd years waiting to be rescued. "Harry you saved me... I'm will make sure you are rewarded. How about leaving old Blighty for good and becoming King of Australia.... we need you out here"
"Hallelujah" cried the crowds of Britain. .. "we are saved. from another royal.. three cheers for Australia".

jayr

And as Harry had enough points, he became a PR. The Governor General was sent packing and the historic irony of Australia being ruled by a consitutional monarchy based 10,000 miles away was replaced by a constitutional monarchy based err... here.

Prince and Princess Schleswin-gothenbe....whatever, attended the Coronation assisted by Ceri, Dotty and the mysteriously missing Mrs Dagboy. King Harry's patchwork quilt gown and tupperware crown beame the new symbols of Australia, a country that had finally broken free from the past, and the national anthem was replaced with God Save the King.

The End

dotty

Harry bedazzled by a lifestyle of endless sun, big palaces, the casual allure of public engagements of bbq'd snags gratefully accepts, King harry in return promises a free allowance of 3 plants of hooch for each and every australian in return for...................

Ceri

Two months on... Mrs Dagboy emerges from one of Dotty's toilets after suffering a wee bit of alcohol poising from Ceri's Home brew... " 'ere what's been going on?. where's the Tupperware? lets party!!" "why Is there a lawnmower man and a pool Guy making out together like loves young dream?"

Ceri is sitting in a cell somewhere for murdering her mum-in-law who apparently got bitten by one of the spiders she sent her last Christmas.

Dotty has smoked all the 'erbs and now she has Michael inxs guy talking to her in her mansion


DianeOz is still trying to get it off with the Victa lawnmower... she hasn't sobered up.

dotty

Dotty, wonders if all of this is really a dream, her spinning headache and craving for 3 big macs tell her no its real enough,
Michael, disturbingly is playing with his necktie and her doornob,
this is getting out of hand thinks dotty, a party lasing two months, one dead body another one about to happen, people making out all over my lawn, and the fraud squad collapsed in bedroom 17 after Ceris home brew, she finally admits unless she wants to end up like Keith Richards, this has to stop, she calls.................................

Ceri

.........For back up on her mobile phone... Ceri answers it from her cell. Under Australian law she has received a very long 4 day sentence for murdering her mum-in-law. Having served three days already.. she thinks I can not stand another long day. She turns to cell mate Pauline "call me in four years time when you get out girl... that will teach you for doing a very serious crime".. "I'll find you a job in my Party when you get out.. The Aus has beaches, sun and big "ouses party. .. But I've got to and break out of here ..I've got to rescue these people from the drugs and booze".....

bondipom

Pauline then says "That sounds excellent. Now how about removing some of our tupperware as it is getting hot in these cells." Next the big Ginger from prisoner cell block H walks in:

Ceri

"hello Girls, what's going on here?" "oh b*gger off Vinegar T*ts" cry the girls (can you remember her.. from cell block H? lol) ... "Now now girls, I'm not really a prisoner" as "she" peels off her mask.... It's Kiwipaul! "I like prisons they are so big and wonderfully designed... you don't get prisons like this in the Uk do you? See Aus is just the "bestest" " he marvels

"Ahhh hang on Ceri" cries Pauline I'm breaking out with you "lets go and rescue the girls from this dead inxs guy.".........

(this story is going to go on forever.. lol)

dotty

KP rather annoyingly is wasting good escape time stuffing a few prison issue quiled tracky suits, itchy wool blankets, Order of Australia Toilet paper and Wacol souvenier pens into his coles recycling bag he bought just in case. Ceri clips him round the ear, tells him to get on with working out the real issue here, how the hell are they going to get to the Sunshine Coast while dressed in prison issue convict suits..................

Ceri

The angels decide to call "charlie " the brains behind the operation to ask for advice. Charlie sounds familiar... but we still can't work out who he or she is..................