walaj

After thinking about Australia 2 yrs ago, and starting the process 18mths ago we have kept stum on our intentions, but now baby is on the way and a timetable is more certain (ie leave end of next year), we think it is about time we do the deed - tell the parents :scared: :scared:

We are also announcing that I am expecting, which I'm not sure if that will sweeten or sour things.

I see my mother as being the difficult one, and not sure which way she will take it - either it will be the chance for holidays, or a totally selfish, you are doing something stupid, not talking to you reaction. My father I think will be more understanding but probably will be upset - not that he will show it.

Sunday should be easier, when it is the turn of one of my sisters. She even asked last year, after we returned from Oz, if we thought of emigrating there (said no). But I doubt whether she would ever fly to Oz

Suppose I am just looking for a bit of reassurance, and a few crossed fingers from you good folk that I will not have pulled out all of my hair by Sunday night

Caroline G

I was pregnant during our application and kept things about the application quiet until it was agreed. When we broke the news about going no-one was that surprised. We've holidayed several times in Oz & probably bore them about how great we think it is.

I too have a sister with twin boys & they are not rich so will probably find it dificult to finance a visit. I hope they will because she is a great sis & I do love my newphews.

My Mum is lovely & has a great relationship with my son (now 15mnths old) and gets upset everytime someone mentions our leaving for Oz (We're leaving the UK in July) However, you have to remember you have your own family now & you must do what you think is best for you!

I personally think it's best to mention a few things & drop a few hints then tell them straight. I tell my Mum she can visit for upto 3 mnths at a time etc. We can set up web cams, e-mail for them, tell her we are just seeing what it's like to live there & that it may not be forever, etc. etc. to make her feel better. I do hope if we stay they will come to Oz on a retirement visa.

Sounds as though your sister has cottoned on already!

Again, stick to your guns and do whats best for your growing family....

elksa

Good luck on Sunday I'm sure it will all go well. At least your're feel as if a big wait has been lifted off your shoulders once you've told everyone. Can't believe you've managed to keep it quiet for so long. YOU MUST BE A GOOD LIAR!!!!

Once again best of luck and keep us informed. Try and remeber that a bab reaction to the news may just be a knee jerk reaction. A little time and everyone will probably come round.

footie chick

Best of luck on Sunday i hope it goes smoothly for you all.

footie chick

krissy

The fact that you are worried about your family's reaction shows you care deeply about their feelings.
I wish you all the luck and many congratulations on the baby.
Kris, Paul and boys

stefian

Good luck on Sunday

I agree a few hits left lying around might soften the blow.

We still have problems discussing the subject with my in laws, but were going and nothing can change that, we just make sure we inform them of the important delvelopments, but as for general chit chat about it, not very often if at all.

Good luck , I'm sure it will be fine. Accept they may feel hurt and upset, and may have different ways of dealing with it ( like my inlaws, shutting it out). but don't give in to emotional blackmail, you've obviously made the decision after thinking long and hard.


Steph

bundy

Two methods, dependent on parent type and levels of cowardice...

EIther the short, sharp shock method where you just come out with it and then run away as fast as you can...

Or the slow, hint-dropping, been-vaguely-thinking-about, one-day-in-the-future option.

I think the latter is best. We spent 3 years talking vaugely about it before making an announcement to say we were definitely applying. ALthough it was easier for us as Mr B is an aussie and we met over in Oz, so it was always somewhat inevitable that we would go back one day.

Either way, you can always add in the proviso that it might not be forever (even if you think it will be). Seems to soften the blow a bit

Bix da Boss

Hi
I was dreading telling my Mum, but after I did it felt like a big weight had been taken off of my shoulders!

Although I got the reaction I expected, still better to get it out of the way as to speak as it does play on your mind!

At first, very selfish reasons were voiced as to why we could not possibly go, didn't speak to me for days after, very upsetting at the time, the silence was worse than the reaction as we could not discuss this very important decision with her. That was back in September last year.

Now, still not able to talk about it in front of her, which is such a shame as we have always been good friends as well as mother and daughter, but my sister informs me that she has come around to the idea we might be going - which is progress - believe me!

The rest of our family and friends, including my in-laws, have been very supportive although will obviously be sad to see us leave. (a few cant wait to see what we are not going to take with us)!

Hope it goes well with you!

Good luck!

TrickyTree

Firstly good luck

It was the part I was most dreading.
I'm real close to my folks and the whole family (we still all live in a couple of towns close by) but I think my folks took it as well as could be expected.
Think it is easier for us in a relationship with an Aussie as it has been a possibilty from the start that we may choose Oz.

The worst part was the awful silence after I told them it seemed to last forever.

TT

steve-n-jo

We told all our family the minute we returned from our second trip two years ago and have kept all of them fully informed every time something happens. They've waited while we stressed our way through the TRA, were pleased for us when we got a positive outcome and have been very positive throughout, well mother in law has been a bit dodgy, a few blackmaily comments but, they can see we really want to go and now we've had our meds/police checks requested and sent off they all realise our departure could be imminent and so far have been pretty good.

By the way, I also had a baby in the middle of it all and M-I-Law thought that would be the end of our Ozzie dream but soon realised it was a delay to departure.

I do feel bad about taking their new grandaughter away, we also have 2 other girls aged 8 & 10 but both sets of parents moved their families from London and Coventry to Poole to start new lives and I think they both know I won't tolerate emotional blackmail from either of them. Thats not to say I won't be a bawling mess at the airport when we go cos I know I will.

Only one chance in life, take it !!!!!

Jo

walaj

thanks for all your messages.

We have not gone with the hint dropping approach as sure they would just guess, anyway I am more for the direct approach, so we will be ready to run Its good advice not to dwindle on the 'permanent' wording.

I do not have the same kind of mother - daughter relationship that so many others have, she can be a be weird what she does or says - there is not that closeness which has made it easier to say nothing without having to be a good liar.

It might also help that my parents are going out tomorow night, so we can at least have breathing space whichever way it goes.

I am more close to my sister who I partly grew up around not with as she is much older. Keeping it from her has been harder.

Whatever the reaction it will not stop our plans - at least they know I can be stubborn like that

next week its the hubbys' parents They will probably ask can they come :scared: