Hi Tazzy, Just to put you in the mood, there are quite a few programmes on Australia on TV this weekend if you have Sky Digital…….

Friday
8.00pm Aussie Animal Rescue – Animal Planet
8.30pm Aussie Animal Rescue – Animal Planet
9.00pm Wild Down Under – BBC2
10.00pm Australia Uncovered – Sky Travel
11.00pm Beaches – Sky Travel Extra

Saturday
2.30am A&E Down Under – Living TV
3.00am Croc Files – Animal Planet
3.30am Croc Files – Animal Planet
6.00am Air Jaws – Discovery +1
7.00am Surfing the Menu – UK Food
8.00am Crocodile Hunter – Animal Planet +
9.00am Fishing Australia – Discovery Home and Leisure
10.00am Island Life - Animal Planet +
3.00pm Croc Files – Animal Planet
3.30pm Croc Files – Animal Planet
9.00pm Snake Wranglers – National Geographic +

Sunday
9.00am Fishing Australia – Discovery Home and Leisure

Sometimes I read these replies and I think people are being very hard on the parents being left behind. It's easy to dole out advice on how to deal with the situation when it's not your parent getting hurt. It's also easy to be tough when your not close to your parent or they are being reasonable.

But I still agree with what everyone says, parents do pull on your heart strings and I personally would take my money to have a good start.

Look at it this way, would you consider, financially, keeping your house here and renting over there if your parents were not involved? You have made the decision to emigrate, therefore you must do this the way you feel is right then you can only blame yourself if it doesn't work.:D

Don't surpose you've seen anything for New Zealand Steve?

Sometimes I read these replies and I think people are being very hard on the parents being left behind. It's easy to dole out advice on how to deal with the situation when it's not your parent getting hurt. It's also easy to be tough when your not close to your parent or they are being reasonable.

But I still agree with what everyone says, parents do pull on your heart strings and I personally would take my money to have a good start.

Look at it this way, would you consider, financially, keeping your house here and renting over there if your parents were not involved? You have made the decision to emigrate, therefore you must do this the way you feel is right then you can only blame yourself if it doesn't work.:D

What your parents are proposing could work if you go with the right attitude. I don't think it is ever a bad idea not to burn your bridges because who knows Oz may not be right for you. However, I don't agree with the way your parents are going about this, as it seems they have their own best interests at heart rather than yours. That said, I think many parents would feel the same. It is just a sign of how much they love and are going to miss you.

If you do not sell the house etc. you are going to have to give Oz 110%+, as always at the back of your mind is going to be looming the safety net of the UK with the thought of how much you miss your parents etc. What you are not taking into account is how hard the first 6 months are going to be. I say that an experienced mover, I have moved 9 times in the past 9 years, as believe me the first 6 months can be very difficult. You will miss all the things you had at home, you will have no friends, no shoulder to cry on. Your husband will probably be at work all day and will soon have some mates while you are at home on your own with a young child and no-one to talk to. You won't know the best place to get the bits and pieces that you picked up at M&S and silly things will start getting to you. So if you go with the attitude we may go home in 12 months you may make that decision when things are at rock bottom. Please don't think I am trying to put you of doing this, I am not, just trying to point out how hard it is at the start. I have to say that I would give it a try, but you need to remember to keep in mind it gets easier every day.

Hi Tazzy!

Just a few of MY opinions! :)

First of all, some people are talking about, don't let the parents win. Well, I don't think it's a question of winning.
Second, your parents obviously mean something to you, and of course you don't want to hurt them. And of course it is also your life.
BUT, if you didn't give a damn about your parents you'd just go, but obviously you do, so just leaving probably won't work, you'd still feel guilty and/or miss them.
Well, that's what I think, but who am I, and I don't know you or your parents, so......
Another thing is your parents are prob still in shock. And you can see they are already getting used to it by talking about the year thing. I think that's a big thing that helps. Just saying you're just gonna go and see, maybe you'll come back. I think a lot of parents have the idea that their kids are 'dead' when they leave, cos they think they'll never really see em again. But we all realise it's not like that anymore.
When we first told my parents in law, of course they were generally shocked in the beginning, but we also used the word 'emigrate'. Now we say more like, we're going for three years and then we'll see. And it's not like we're lying. We might come back, we might not.
Also, I think a lot of peoples parents might think/feel excactly like yours, except they bottle it up. At least your parents let it all out. And probably get over some of it soon.
And about them being selfish, well, yes, I guess, but everybody is sometimes, and I think it's also a sign of how much they love you.
I'd be really upset if my parents didn't care at all.....


Another thing I wanted to say in general, for everybody, about renting:
I think everybody should rent at the beginning, cos most don't know where they'll end up finding a job etc.
Even if you have enough money to buy a house straight away, I don't see why people do, at least not the first 6 months or so(depends on everything)

Also, I don't see how so many people can be so sure they're gonna stay, especially seeing most have only been on holiday, or haven't been at all!!
Shouldn't everybody be saying, we'll go, and we'll see?
And if you don't have the money for if it goes wrong, and you want to go back to the UK, then you're taking a pretty big risk!

What I also don't understand: people who haven't sold their house before they go, and need that money. I really don't get it, can someone explain?

Maybe I should put these last bits in a new post and ask people to explain.....?

Anyway Tazzy, the best of luck and wisdom to you, even though of course you'll never know if you've made the right choice, that's the risk...
Just make sure you're happy, and have enough money to reverse any decisions you make to be happy again. Unfortunetley (or that's life): money is important :(

So, good luck, best wishes, have fun!

Simone

Hi
My view..
We have been think of going to Aus for months...last week we decided F**k it lets do it, we thought about renting our house here in the uk, but too much hassle, so we are selling our house and banking half the equity in a 1 year bond, the other half we are using to rent a house for a year, live for a year, but a car etc etc, decide were we would like toilive while our skilled visas come through.....worst worst case

1) Visas dont happen....had a year of living in Aus !!
2) Dont like it....(dont think so) come back and have enough cash to buy again in the UK....

we have 2 small children...so grandparents, will be giving us a hard time...so havent told them yet....waiting until after Xmas and pending house sale going in April with holiday visas....

You only live once....dont regret it !!! give it a go.....why not ?

Gazza & Georgie:)

Re: Do I compromise?
 

Tazzy, what do you want? forget about your parents and even your hubby, just for a moment, what do YOU want? look into yourself and then you will know what is best for you, as you said there is lots of conflicting advice on this site so i won't give you any, the only decision that counts is yours mate.
best of luck whatever you decide
rach
:confused:

I think it is a good idea you go out with an 'annual review' in mind... I would sell the house as it will just be a hassle, but still take the 'see after a year approach'.

As a compromise you could prebook a return flight back to the UK after a year now - before you spend the money/find a reason not to. if you plan it far enough advance then you can work towards that date, go back to the Uk and reassess.

Having a fall back plan is a very very good idea. No way should you go all that way without a plan B. Doesn't mean you won't put 100% into it - but it is just sensible planning.

Hi Tazzy,

I saw your last post but you seemed to have so much advice I just stood back.

From someone who is very close to her parents (like you)
This is a toughie, but at the end of the day..it is your life we are talking about here... nothing is forever, why not give it a try?.. hell the UK is a one-day plane trip away..

who's to say you could never return to the UK if things aren't what you thought in Oz.

When I moved to Wales from Brisbane in Feb this year, I sold everything and made the move even though it broke my parents heart, it was right for me.

To alleviate some of the hurt, we got a webcam (so did my foks) and we can chat to them whenever we like and actually see them.. Maybe an option if you have kiddies, brings it closer than the telephone. Even phone calls are really cheap so you can talk regularly.. 4p a minute from the UK and 4 cents a min from Oz to UK. Tell em to register with Alpha Telecom.

In the end YOU have to decide... life is way too short and this is no dress rehearsal....living in another country is fantastic!!!

good luck!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ask your folks to give you some leaway,change their holiday destinations to see the Daughter and Grandchild they love so much.I have just realised tonight that my M.I.L. may not be able to visit us after reading another thread that somebody had had a pulminary embulism I think it was on Ellens.I love the bones of my M.I.L. as I do my own Mum ,who too is also quite ill and travelling would be a great risk.

Sorry but I don't know the fitness of your parents.It is very hard I know but your child and your marriage comes first,Iwould never say your Husband or yourself comes first as when you married you became one and the same.It's taken me a long time to realise that :lecture: :)

Tazzy
I have to agree with rach, What do YOU want, you are being pulled from side to side and you CANNOT please everyone. Think about , if no one was expressing any opionion at all, what would you choose to do? That maybe the shortest way to get your answer?

Hi Tazzy
I can relate to what you're going through. Every time I mention ANYTHING about our migration, my mother says 'oh, you're still thinking of going then??' (all suprised) Even though we've told my parents a number of times over the last year that YES we are definately going! We've also told them we may not stay there forever but we're going to see how things go, as we won't know if we don't try. It really feels like she's not even listening to me. My mother also suggested we rent our house out too but I think it was just her way of keeping a part of us here in the hope we'll come back. My brother has given me a really hard time over it and refuses to talk about it. He told me I'm ostracising myself from the family and that I'm selfish in even thinking about migrating!! So you're not alone in having your heart strings pulled to breaking point as I'm getting the same treatment........:(

Petra

I'm assuming that this brother is your only sibling?

Hi Tazzy

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your parents.

From a different perspective we are the parents and our only child (a son of 28) told us 3 years ago that he was going to Oz for a year. He rented out his property in UK but after just six weeks he decided that Oz was definitely the country for him so sold up in UK and rented property in Sydney.

We wanted whatever was best for him but we were both really choked at his decision but didn't try to put him off as he believed he would have a better life there.

We visited him after he had been living there 15 months and we could tell he was really happy, liked his job (less hours than he had been working in London and no problems with getting to work on public transport) and made lots of friends and was generally having a good time.

He suggested to us that we might consider taking early retirement and migrating to Oz. He knew we didn't want to live in Sydney (really great place to visit but we wanted a more laid back lifestyle) and he thought we might like Brisbane/Sunshine Coast.

We visited the area for several weeks at the end of last year and now intend migrating next year. Some days I wonder if we are doing the right thing but hubby says "think of it as a 4 year holiday (we will go on a retirement visa) and if you miss the UK we can always come back, we are lucky to have the opportunity to try it".

So who knows Tazzy, your parents might end up visiting Oz, love it and spend many holidays there.

Do what you consider best for yourselves.

Jackie