Complete Newbie
May 21st 2007 | 9:54 pm
#16
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 28,175
From: at the bottom of a wine glass
Re: Complete Newbie
I'm actually really amazed at all of you! I feel no closer to making my mind up! And there you are making life changing choices! I've talked with quite a few family members, my dad seemed mainly concerned that with dry grass and lots of barbecues we were begging to have our wooden house (that we haven't bought, so don't have! dur) burnt to ashes! My mum got back to me 2 days later to tell me to do it, not to carry on wasting my life doing nothing here, which wasn't as helpful as I'd thought it would be. Getting her approval on it never really entered my mind, but her giving it the ok has made it seem more realistic somehow. And then I talked with 2 of my sisters, one remained eerily quiet, and the other proceeded to voice every one of my concerns whilst telling me I was selfish, but not in a negative way (sure you lot will understand that!), but telling me I should be selfish, because looking after ourselves is what we are predetermined to do! She doesn't want me to go and take her niece away, and myself of course...I'm rambling aren't I!!??
I'm trying to take a step back from this all, try to be more objective, see if inspiration hits when I'm not looking kind of thing!! Thank you all!
I'm trying to take a step back from this all, try to be more objective, see if inspiration hits when I'm not looking kind of thing!! Thank you all!
May 21st 2007 | 10:53 pm
#17
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 31
Re: Complete Newbie
I'm actually really amazed at all of you! I feel no closer to making my mind up! And there you are making life changing choices! I've talked with quite a few family members, my dad seemed mainly concerned that with dry grass and lots of barbecues we were begging to have our wooden house (that we haven't bought, so don't have! dur) burnt to ashes! My mum got back to me 2 days later to tell me to do it, not to carry on wasting my life doing nothing here, which wasn't as helpful as I'd thought it would be. Getting her approval on it never really entered my mind, but her giving it the ok has made it seem more realistic somehow. And then I talked with 2 of my sisters, one remained eerily quiet, and the other proceeded to voice every one of my concerns whilst telling me I was selfish, but not in a negative way (sure you lot will understand that!), but telling me I should be selfish, because looking after ourselves is what we are predetermined to do! She doesn't want me to go and take her niece away, and myself of course...I'm rambling aren't I!!??
I'm trying to take a step back from this all, try to be more objective, see if inspiration hits when I'm not looking kind of thing!! Thank you all!
I'm trying to take a step back from this all, try to be more objective, see if inspiration hits when I'm not looking kind of thing!! Thank you all!
May 22nd 2007 | 12:19 am
#18
Thread Starter
I've agreed to go!
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 24
From: Where the rain always falls
Re: Complete Newbie
Thank for that! I'm actually strangely comforted hearing not everyone loves it over there!! It takes the pressure off to have such a massively positive look. It does help to be able to see both sides of the picture. And it's coming a little clearer. Thanks.
May 22nd 2007 | 7:25 pm
#19
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,104
From: Cairns FNQ, a bit of paradise on earth:-)
Re: Complete Newbie
Thank you all so much for this! If there's anything I'm learning, it's that there is obviously a huge support network right here if I ever manage to make a choice!! I'm definately swaying towards going. I think at the moment I'm realising that my life is going nowhere sat on my backside in the UK!! The only things holding me here are family ties...but there are phones in Oz, and webcams too!! I'm just too much of a homebird!
Rollercoaster's off for the day then!
Rollercoaster's off for the day then!
Hi again
Believe me - there was no one that were more 'homebirds' than us! For a start, we had only been out of Cornwall a few times b4 emigrating to OZ, no holidays every year like a lot of people, only flown once b4 on a very small aircraft to Jersey! None of our family or friends thought we would ever leave family because our ties were so strong, especially mine - total comittment to them. But, opportunities are few and far between Oz is not an easy place to get into as it is!
What you must take on board is Australia is such a BIG country - if it doesn't work out for you or suit you in one state/place you can always try somewhere else - its like the UK not every where suits everyone
G
May 23rd 2007 | 5:49 am
#20
Thread Starter
I've agreed to go!
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 24
From: Where the rain always falls
Re: Complete Newbie
Well, I've gone nearly 2 whole days without bursting into tears at the mere thought of leaving...so that's a huge improvement! I've talkedit through with so many people now, and I'm coming to realise that I just want telling what to do! Which is just plain stupid. I know. Thing is, all friends and family are saying pretty much the same things, and I know that ultimately it's my choice, and I don't know why I'm pushing myself to make a life-changing decision within a week! How daft can a person get eh?!?
Dunno what hubbies reading on this site either! He directed me here, but he's not joines, it was me who wanted more voices. So I won't say too many of my thoughts, don't want to give him false hope, or put him off either!!
I need more time, so that's what I'm doing now.
Dunno what hubbies reading on this site either! He directed me here, but he's not joines, it was me who wanted more voices. So I won't say too many of my thoughts, don't want to give him false hope, or put him off either!!
I need more time, so that's what I'm doing now.
May 24th 2007 | 12:05 am
#22
Thread Starter
I've agreed to go!
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 24
From: Where the rain always falls
May 24th 2007 | 12:24 am
#23
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 131
From: Derby, UK
Re: Complete Newbie
Hi
Perhaps you'll be able to help me?
We are sort of in the same situation as you as in we have agreed yes we would like to move to AUS and now are looking into it.
MY OH would go this afternoon if he could (never ever been to AUS either of us) and ive got 2 boys the 5 yr old says he'd like to go for a day????
and little un is 19 months.
i
have a very topsy turvy relationship with my parents and can live in AUS no prob really, the only thing that is really worrying me is .....
breaking my little boys heart........... he is dearly in love with both his nannies and he will be distraught when he realises he wont see them for a long long while, at moment he sees my OH mum every other day and my mum once a week at least.
what on earth do i do?
is it cruel and selfish of us to go or do i just bite the bullet and think of the long term benefits for him?
I just feel so upset when i think about how he will feel and knowing that i made him feel like that
?????????:curse:
Marie xx
Perhaps you'll be able to help me?
We are sort of in the same situation as you as in we have agreed yes we would like to move to AUS and now are looking into it.
MY OH would go this afternoon if he could (never ever been to AUS either of us) and ive got 2 boys the 5 yr old says he'd like to go for a day????
and little un is 19 months.i
have a very topsy turvy relationship with my parents and can live in AUS no prob really, the only thing that is really worrying me is .....
breaking my little boys heart........... he is dearly in love with both his nannies and he will be distraught when he realises he wont see them for a long long while, at moment he sees my OH mum every other day and my mum once a week at least.
what on earth do i do?
is it cruel and selfish of us to go or do i just bite the bullet and think of the long term benefits for him?
I just feel so upset when i think about how he will feel and knowing that i made him feel like that
?????????:curse:
Marie xx
May 24th 2007 | 12:57 am
#24
Thread Starter
I've agreed to go!
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 24
From: Where the rain always falls
Re: Complete Newbie
It's a toughie isn't it? I do have the advantage over you, LO is only 2, and although she knows who the grandparents are, she (as cruel as it sounds) probably wouldn't miss them too much, although with around a 2 year visa wait, she's going to be getting towards the same point as your eldest at the point of a move (I've not made any decisions, although I have to admit I'm strongly leading towards the adventure!!) In short, I think I'm probably not the person who could give you the final decision. You know what your choices are, and I would suggest talking it all through with both sets of grandparents, you might be surprised at their input. Ultimately you and I need to think what is best for not only our futures, but also the futures of our children. What will be best for them? Staying somewhere for the sake of other people, or making a move that could give them a better future. It's something I've been thinkin over a lot! Also, make 2 lists of pros and cons...one for going to Australia, and anoter for staying in the UK, they will surprise you as they will highlight different things for you! But then, why trust me, I'm as clueless about my own life!!
May 24th 2007 | 1:16 am
#25
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 131
From: Derby, UK
Re: Complete Newbie
Thanks hun,
to be honest deep down im sure we will go im just scared shi**less incase it goes wrong.
Take a deep breath and just try not to think about all the down sides i will still be here 10 yrs time otherwise worrying about it but not doing anything about it
marie x
to be honest deep down im sure we will go im just scared shi**less incase it goes wrong.
Take a deep breath and just try not to think about all the down sides i will still be here 10 yrs time otherwise worrying about it but not doing anything about it
marie x
May 24th 2007 | 3:55 am
#26
not sure...
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,537
From: out in the boonies
Re: Complete Newbie
hi all,
I'm new to this whole process too except that myself and the other half just decided we'd like to go, now we're facing the reality of visas etc! So we did it the other way round! We're both lucky in that, while we love our families, we don't live near either of them (live in London, mine is in Ireland, his in Scotland) so we're now used to being away from them. I also have a brother in Wollongong outside Sydney who i miss a lot so moving to Oz means I'd get to see more of him..bonus! I can't imagine the tear those of you with kids are facing but the one thing I would say is that you don't have to move forever! Give it a go if you're pretty sure you'd like it. If you don't like it you CAN come back! and then at least it'll be out of your system. I'd rather that then feel like you 'settled' for staying in the UK and never explored what could be the greatest decision you've ever made.
My dad is 73 and after visiting Oz this coming August for my brothers wedding I know he won't take such a long trip again. Gutted at 'leaving' him and not seeing my nephews grow up etc but the way I look at it is that my sisters etc don't live their lives based on what I do, I need to live my life for me.
phew! need a cup o tea now...
Tx
I'm new to this whole process too except that myself and the other half just decided we'd like to go, now we're facing the reality of visas etc! So we did it the other way round! We're both lucky in that, while we love our families, we don't live near either of them (live in London, mine is in Ireland, his in Scotland) so we're now used to being away from them. I also have a brother in Wollongong outside Sydney who i miss a lot so moving to Oz means I'd get to see more of him..bonus! I can't imagine the tear those of you with kids are facing but the one thing I would say is that you don't have to move forever! Give it a go if you're pretty sure you'd like it. If you don't like it you CAN come back! and then at least it'll be out of your system. I'd rather that then feel like you 'settled' for staying in the UK and never explored what could be the greatest decision you've ever made.
My dad is 73 and after visiting Oz this coming August for my brothers wedding I know he won't take such a long trip again. Gutted at 'leaving' him and not seeing my nephews grow up etc but the way I look at it is that my sisters etc don't live their lives based on what I do, I need to live my life for me.
phew! need a cup o tea now...
Tx
May 25th 2007 | 8:34 am
#27
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 61
From: Grimsby - born and bred
Re: Complete Newbie
Hi,
To summarize to anyone thinking of moving to Oz the fors and against, this is just my personal feelings/opinions.
For:
Beautiful country.
Truly friendly people (apparently they do have the occasional mass murderer, but I never met anyone who wasn't polite to me in 4 weeks).
Great weather in Western Oz (very hot, but not humid like it is in Queensland)
My husband's aches and pains in his joints went after 2 weeks (bless, he's 50 in Feb, I'm a good bit younger, otherwise we wouldn't get a visa)
Good roads
More for children young people.
Against:
Missing your family/friends.
It's a long way to get to UK if someone is seriously ill. People say it's only a day on a plane, but you have to get time off work, book a flight (which will probably be very expensive if booked last minute).
Not much opportunity to wear my extensive shoe/boot collection, only wore flip-flops(thongs as they say in Oz) for 4 weeks in Oz.
Hope that's helpful.
We're waiting for our visa at present
Regards Sara
To summarize to anyone thinking of moving to Oz the fors and against, this is just my personal feelings/opinions.
For:
Beautiful country.
Truly friendly people (apparently they do have the occasional mass murderer, but I never met anyone who wasn't polite to me in 4 weeks).
Great weather in Western Oz (very hot, but not humid like it is in Queensland)
My husband's aches and pains in his joints went after 2 weeks (bless, he's 50 in Feb, I'm a good bit younger, otherwise we wouldn't get a visa)
Good roads
More for children young people.
Against:
Missing your family/friends.
It's a long way to get to UK if someone is seriously ill. People say it's only a day on a plane, but you have to get time off work, book a flight (which will probably be very expensive if booked last minute).
Not much opportunity to wear my extensive shoe/boot collection, only wore flip-flops(thongs as they say in Oz) for 4 weeks in Oz.
Hope that's helpful.
We're waiting for our visa at present
Regards Sara
May 25th 2007 | 7:29 pm
#28
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 48
From: Perth, ex Stoke-on-Trent, London, Reading
Re: Complete Newbie
Hi,
To summarize to anyone thinking of moving to Oz the fors and against, this is just my personal feelings/opinions.
For:
Beautiful country.
Truly friendly people (apparently they do have the occasional mass murderer, but I never met anyone who wasn't polite to me in 4 weeks).
Great weather in Western Oz (very hot, but not humid like it is in Queensland)
My husband's aches and pains in his joints went after 2 weeks (bless, he's 50 in Feb, I'm a good bit younger, otherwise we wouldn't get a visa)
Good roads
More for children young people.
Against:
Missing your family/friends.
It's a long way to get to UK if someone is seriously ill. People say it's only a day on a plane, but you have to get time off work, book a flight (which will probably be very expensive if booked last minute).
Not much opportunity to wear my extensive shoe/boot collection, only wore flip-flops(thongs as they say in Oz) for 4 weeks in Oz.
Hope that's helpful.
We're waiting for our visa at present
Regards Sara
To summarize to anyone thinking of moving to Oz the fors and against, this is just my personal feelings/opinions.
For:
Beautiful country.
Truly friendly people (apparently they do have the occasional mass murderer, but I never met anyone who wasn't polite to me in 4 weeks).
Great weather in Western Oz (very hot, but not humid like it is in Queensland)
My husband's aches and pains in his joints went after 2 weeks (bless, he's 50 in Feb, I'm a good bit younger, otherwise we wouldn't get a visa)
Good roads
More for children young people.
Against:
Missing your family/friends.
It's a long way to get to UK if someone is seriously ill. People say it's only a day on a plane, but you have to get time off work, book a flight (which will probably be very expensive if booked last minute).
Not much opportunity to wear my extensive shoe/boot collection, only wore flip-flops(thongs as they say in Oz) for 4 weeks in Oz.
Hope that's helpful.
We're waiting for our visa at present
Regards Sara
Just a quick comment to make on leaving family behind. Before I moved to Oz, I moved down to London/Berkshire from the North. Although I spoke to my folks alot, and popped up on the odd long weekend etc - and I've always thought of us being a very close family BTW. When we moved to Perth, WA we've had family visiting us every year usually for 3 - 4 weeks, which meant I was seeing more of them in actual quality time wise than I did when living in London.
Eventually most of my family have ended up over here now anyway, because they love it here as much as we do. It's not dullsville BTW, you just have to put some effort into having fun - trying new things etc.
May 26th 2007 | 12:32 am
#29
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 943
From: WA but not forever!!!
Re: Complete Newbie
Hi,
my OH and myself have recently like yourselves' have decided to 'bail out' of the UK and seek a better life in Australia.
The decision was one we had joked about a few years ago; if we haven't started a family by the time my OH was 35 ish, etc,etc.
We now have a little boy who is 2 years 2 months old and it is the thought of what the UK is going to be like when he is growing up scared us.
Other reasons include overcrowding, immigration ( or the lack of it in the UK ), a new start, better ( hopefully ) prospects, change in way of life, weather, lifestyle, the UK going to the dogs, getting too expensive here, UK stealth taxes. generally fed up, etc,etc. All these reasons i have seen elsewere as why Brits want to go to Aus, I'm sure you are no different.
I have no family but the wife does so there was some soul searching about leaving, some hard decisions to tell people, and some recrimminations about taking grandchildren away from their granparents ( apparently we are so selfish !!!!!!.- This came from a work mate and NOT parents; they were upset but happy and supportive ).
Friends have all wished us well and said they'll be out for a cheap holiday!
There is also the issue that everything here is familiar and you know where you are and where to go for everything.
We considered the possibility of visiting first before applying as we have never been to Aus before but we decided not to; its hard to be objective on a 2/3 week holiday. Other people seem to manage OK so why can't we!
Take your time to make up your own mind about moving as it's a hard enough slog with the application process even if like us you choose to use an agency to help. The emmotional rollercoster even after you say yes is still weird, one day ok and the next panicky about everything.
Four us it is the right decision to go, and the right time to see if we like life 'down under' but listen also to someone who is negative, you might just see something in a new light.
I hope you make the right decision whatever it may be.
Johnnyyt
my OH and myself have recently like yourselves' have decided to 'bail out' of the UK and seek a better life in Australia.
The decision was one we had joked about a few years ago; if we haven't started a family by the time my OH was 35 ish, etc,etc.
We now have a little boy who is 2 years 2 months old and it is the thought of what the UK is going to be like when he is growing up scared us.
Other reasons include overcrowding, immigration ( or the lack of it in the UK ), a new start, better ( hopefully ) prospects, change in way of life, weather, lifestyle, the UK going to the dogs, getting too expensive here, UK stealth taxes. generally fed up, etc,etc. All these reasons i have seen elsewere as why Brits want to go to Aus, I'm sure you are no different.
I have no family but the wife does so there was some soul searching about leaving, some hard decisions to tell people, and some recrimminations about taking grandchildren away from their granparents ( apparently we are so selfish !!!!!!.- This came from a work mate and NOT parents; they were upset but happy and supportive ).
Friends have all wished us well and said they'll be out for a cheap holiday!
There is also the issue that everything here is familiar and you know where you are and where to go for everything.
We considered the possibility of visiting first before applying as we have never been to Aus before but we decided not to; its hard to be objective on a 2/3 week holiday. Other people seem to manage OK so why can't we!
Take your time to make up your own mind about moving as it's a hard enough slog with the application process even if like us you choose to use an agency to help. The emmotional rollercoster even after you say yes is still weird, one day ok and the next panicky about everything.
Four us it is the right decision to go, and the right time to see if we like life 'down under' but listen also to someone who is negative, you might just see something in a new light.
I hope you make the right decision whatever it may be.
Johnnyyt
It is a huge decision. We moved out 2 months ago and it's cost a far bit to set up so it has to work. The way I've approached it is not to compare and also if you can't get it here you don't get it. You live how everyone else does. I do miss some things but to be honest I stop thinking about them.
My nan is in her 80's to and don't leave the house. I felt so sad and saying my goodbyes was very tough (hard to even think about). The sweetest thing my nan said (which did choke me) was go and live my dream. My nan and pap wanted to move here when my dad was younger but it refused to (if a child could that young if you know what I mean). She also said she'd had her life and we had to go for it. Boy hard even writing this. I hope use our return tickets in March she may be around still maybe not but it is the hardest goodbye of them all. For some of the others we got a bit of acting out. My husbands mum and dad have been so supportive. They have been out several times and have seen how England has changed and think it is also best for our kids.
For us with kids its a no brainer. For my husband I personally I reckon sometimes we would choose England over Oz. I guess we would work hard, take lots of holidays, eat out, shop for lovely clothes and avoid kids at weekends. Saying that I love my kids to bits and family life is what we have to think about.
We had talked about coming for a number of years and it reached a point where we said if we don't try it we will regret it but I would say you have to approach it with the right attitude.
I am probably going but hopefully this helps you if not someone else.
Good luck.
J
