Mumof1

Hi there. I'm here looking for a little advice.

My hubby and I have often talked about moving out to Oz, but usually when life's getting us down, or it's raining so heavily you feel the roof just might cave in over your head!
But now we seem to be taking things really seriously. So maybe this will seem too early to some of you for me to be here!

My husband visited Australia when he was around 21, he fell in love with the whole country and drools over the prospect of living there, his mind is made up, which does put me under some pressure to hurry and make my own decision (this is entirely my own feeling, he's completely willing to wait for me to be sure and isn't pushing!!! ). I am from a large family who have their problems, but when push comes to shove, we are always there for one another. My question is one which undoubtedly many of you will have faced during your own decision making stages: how do you make that final choice? Maybe that's impossible to answer! But I wouldn't mind knowing what gave you the final push, so to speak! I really only have one big issue going round in my head holding me back. My Nana, she's well into her 80's, and without ending up crying again I hope you can read between the lines to those implications on leaving!

Also, I should add that I have never been to Oz!! And the possibility of visiting isn't really there (money issues!), has anyone made a decision to leave ol' blighty without seeing where they're headed? I would purely have to take my mans' word for the place, and though I trust him (of course) this IS a life-changing decision!

I would really appreciate anyone leaving their thoughts for me!

shiels

Hi and welcome to BE.............

We are off to Aus shortly and although my OH doesnt have much family to leave behind I do!! My dad is 70 this year and unable to fly short or longhaul so we will only get to see him on return visits to the UK This has been a hard decision to make believe me BUT you have to do what you think is right for your own little family at the end of the day dont you.

Grab whatever oppotunities come your way as you never know when or if they will come along again!!!

Good Luck C x

Malcs66

Just wanted to back up what Shiels said really. You have to think of your own family, whats best for your kids. We have been thinking about it for the last 4yrs and finally taken the plunge. Life is too short as they say. A friend of mine died of a heart attack at the age of 34 and thats what made my mind up. You can always come back if it doesn't work out, but at least you tried it, instead of thinking "what if".
Thousands migrate without visiting oz first . As we have teenage kids we thought its only fair on them to have a visit first, fortunately they loved it there.

Mumof1

Thanks! It's good to know I'm not alone in not being able to visit first! My sister, sister-in-law and several friends have been lucky enough to visit and have all come back in love with the country, so I'm not really too worried about falling in love with it too! I know you have to think of yourself in all decisions, after all, I have to live with the outcome! I just feel so selfish! I take it that's common too?!

Malcs66

But you are not thinking of just yourself, you are thinking of the future of your close family. I'm lucky in a way compared to my wife as both my parents have passed away, but my wife has a large close family. We live 300 miles away from them, but when they visit for a couple of weeks at a time it's quality time. When we lived around the corner it was a case of in and out in minutes and using them for babysitting purposes. You are at the very start of the process, your emotions will be like a rollercoaster.

Mumof1

No kidding! I've gone through more tissues this week than I can keep track of, and yet I'm completely exhilerated by the idea of a new start!

johnnyyt

Hi,
my OH and myself have recently like yourselves' have decided to 'bail out' of the UK and seek a better life in Australia.
The decision was one we had joked about a few years ago; if we haven't started a family by the time my OH was 35 ish, etc,etc.
We now have a little boy who is 2 years 2 months old and it is the thought of what the UK is going to be like when he is growing up scared us.
Other reasons include overcrowding, immigration ( or the lack of it in the UK ), a new start, better ( hopefully ) prospects, change in way of life, weather, lifestyle, the UK going to the dogs, getting too expensive here, UK stealth taxes. generally fed up, etc,etc. All these reasons i have seen elsewere as why Brits want to go to Aus, I'm sure you are no different.

I have no family but the wife does so there was some soul searching about leaving, some hard decisions to tell people, and some recrimminations about taking grandchildren away from their granparents ( apparently we are so selfish !!!!!!.- This came from a work mate and NOT parents; they were upset but happy and supportive ).
Friends have all wished us well and said they'll be out for a cheap holiday!
There is also the issue that everything here is familiar and you know where you are and where to go for everything.

We considered the possibility of visiting first before applying as we have never been to Aus before but we decided not to; its hard to be objective on a 2/3 week holiday. Other people seem to manage OK so why can't we!

Take your time to make up your own mind about moving as it's a hard enough slog with the application process even if like us you choose to use an agency to help. The emmotional rollercoster even after you say yes is still weird, one day ok and the next panicky about everything.

Four us it is the right decision to go, and the right time to see if we like life 'down under' but listen also to someone who is negative, you might just see something in a new light.

I hope you make the right decision whatever it may be.
Johnnyyt

jayr

If it's any comfort we emigrated over four years ago with two kids in tow without ever visiting. A trip back to the Uk at Christmas was our first return visit after 4 years. I think we'll be reducing the frequency of return trips...

We have only had one trip from rellies to come and see us.

People in your family will die, why does that require you to not follow your own dreams?

Mrs Jackaroo

Hi........welcome to BE!

Making that choice is so very very difficult - and it lingers with you after you have made the decision too (and after you have arrived!!).

For us it was a case of 'we'll never know unless we try' - we've given ourselves 2 years and from there we'll decide whether we want to stay or go back - that took the pressure off of it having to be FOREVER - I couldnt cope with that!

AT the moment I would get on the next flight home tomorrow - but thats just because my mum has just gone back after a 6 week stay ) - I'll just warn your........saying goodbye at this end is even harder than saying goodbye in the UK (well it was for me anyway!).

Good luck with your decision..........whatever you decide

Rach xxxx

Bix da Boss

Welcome to BE Whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you!

Life is short - give it a go - if you dont like it you can always go back but it is better to have tried it than not done it at all

It was def the right decision for us after a lot of soul searching, but, we have not regretted it for one single minute - our lives are brimming to the full now and thats the way we like it - just brilliant and the sunshine well....

Take care
Good luck
Gill

Mumof1

Thank you all so much for this! If there's anything I'm learning, it's that there is obviously a huge support network right here if I ever manage to make a choice!! I'm definately swaying towards going. I think at the moment I'm realising that my life is going nowhere sat on my backside in the UK!! The only things holding me here are family ties...but there are phones in Oz, and webcams too!! I'm just too much of a homebird!
Rollercoaster's off for the day then!

Mumof1

OK, a slightly different question then, OH is in love with Oz after a visit years ago. he saw it through tourists eyes....what grumbles do Aussies have?

Malcs66

I can't answer that but hopefully someone can. We visited Perth and Adelaide and found them to be completely different from each other, both very nice places though. You may not like one state but love another, oz is a very big place. To be honest it wasn't the country so much i fell in love with but more their lifestyle. From all the oz's i spoke to none had any grumbles about anything, apart from the house prices in Perth. They are too laid back to grumble.

Wendy

Pretty much the same as we have (had) in the UK. You know, the price of food, tax, etc.

Mumof1

I'm actually really amazed at all of you! I feel no closer to making my mind up! And there you are making life changing choices! I've talked with quite a few family members, my dad seemed mainly concerned that with dry grass and lots of barbecues we were begging to have our wooden house (that we haven't bought, so don't have! dur) burnt to ashes! My mum got back to me 2 days later to tell me to do it, not to carry on wasting my life doing nothing here, which wasn't as helpful as I'd thought it would be. Getting her approval on it never really entered my mind, but her giving it the ok has made it seem more realistic somehow. And then I talked with 2 of my sisters, one remained eerily quiet, and the other proceeded to voice every one of my concerns whilst telling me I was selfish, but not in a negative way (sure you lot will understand that!), but telling me I should be selfish, because looking after ourselves is what we are predetermined to do! She doesn't want me to go and take her niece away, and myself of course...I'm rambling aren't I!!??
I'm trying to take a step back from this all, try to be more objective, see if inspiration hits when I'm not looking kind of thing!! Thank you all!