BundyMum update

Old Nov 3rd 2004, 6:43 am
  #91  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Thanks everyone - especially for the energy Michelle! Certainly needed.

No more news yet - still trying to get the ultrasound sorted so that we can see what's going on with her liver and we'll take it from there. I think it's the unfairness of it all that stings the most.
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 9:34 am
  #92  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by bundy
Thanks everyone - especially for the energy Michelle! Certainly needed.

No more news yet - still trying to get the ultrasound sorted so that we can see what's going on with her liver and we'll take it from there. I think it's the unfairness of it all that stings the most.
keep your chin up lady, yes, life stinks sometimes dosen't it, such evil people in the world who seem to be able to get on with their lives whilst 'normal' families are affected by such crap like your mums illness. yorkshire karma on its way bundy sorry its late

best wishes
debbie x
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 9:37 am
  #93  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by debbiemc
keep your chin up lady, yes, life stinks sometimes dosen't it, such evil people in the world who seem to be able to get on with their lives whilst 'normal' families are affected by such crap like your mums illness. yorkshire karma on its way bundy sorry its late

best wishes
debbie x
arhh, bundy, it still wont let me give you any, so sorry but i'll send you some psychic karma instead, a lot more powerful i always think!! keep smiling, you're in all our thoughts.
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 9:41 am
  #94  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by debbiemc
arhh, bundy, it still wont let me give you any, so sorry but i'll send you some psychic karma instead, a lot more powerful i always think!! keep smiling, you're in all our thoughts.
Thanks Debs - the pyschic stuff is best anyway!
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 11:15 am
  #95  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Bundy,

I think Brirish Medics have a lot to answer for. They xrayed my dad in May, said there was nothing wrong with hi. Same again in June as he still felt poorly. Then as you may recall, a couple of days before we were due to fly they xrayed him agaim. Suddenly his lungs were full of cancer that 'wasnt' there on the previous films.
He was just coping with that news, then his 'stand in GP' ( a right bastard) knocked on his door out of the blue told him the cancer was too far gone too operate and it was also in his liver. Dad went to pieces.

The next couple of weeks it 'disappeared' from his liver and was in his back!!!!! Mum and dad spend nearly all day everyday up the hospital.

Yesterday he went up for bloods and to have a transfusion. After sitting there for nearly 3 hours the hospital realised they had 'forgotton' all about him, and sent him home as it was too late to do it.

He might be 'some ole man' to them, but he is my *****ing dad!!!!

He can hardly walk and has aged heaps. I used to work for the ole social and told him to claim Disability Living Allowance. The bastards turned him down. Do I sound bitter.....yes I am. I honestly dont know how you have kept it together Bundy.

Hope it all turns out ok.

love

sandra
xxxxxxxxx
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 11:20 am
  #96  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

You've had it tough too Sandra and your story made me very sad when you told us about it. Very hard decisions to make.

Yes, I've been very angry, not least because my parents live in Jersey where the healthcare is effectively a private system. If you consider the relatively small number of people on the island with cancer, it seems beyond belief that they could lose her in the system. And it wasn't as if she was keeping quiet - she kept telling them her worries and nobody listened. Seems she fell between stools with the GP, hospice and consultant.

Still, it can't be helped, what's done is done and there's no point wasting energy dwelling on it when that energy is needed for the next round. Just got to pray that it hasn't spread to her liver and then they can find a new medication for her.

And if you think the benefit system in the UK is bad - in Jersey, the system is so archaic that women don't technically *exist* except through their husbands. So my dad had to prove his Jersey status before my mum could get any sort of financial aid which, with both of them not working, was pretty crucial! I swear it was more of a stress than her diagnosis.
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 12:40 pm
  #97  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by sj oldfield
Bundy,

I think Brirish Medics have a lot to answer for. They xrayed my dad in May, said there was nothing wrong with hi. Same again in June as he still felt poorly. Then as you may recall, a couple of days before we were due to fly they xrayed him agaim. Suddenly his lungs were full of cancer that 'wasnt' there on the previous films.
He was just coping with that news, then his 'stand in GP' ( a right bastard) knocked on his door out of the blue told him the cancer was too far gone too operate and it was also in his liver. Dad went to pieces.

The next couple of weeks it 'disappeared' from his liver and was in his back!!!!! Mum and dad spend nearly all day everyday up the hospital.

Yesterday he went up for bloods and to have a transfusion. After sitting there for nearly 3 hours the hospital realised they had 'forgotton' all about him, and sent him home as it was too late to do it.

He might be 'some ole man' to them, but he is my *****ing dad!!!!

He can hardly walk and has aged heaps. I used to work for the ole social and told him to claim Disability Living Allowance. The bastards turned him down. Do I sound bitter.....yes I am. I honestly dont know how you have kept it together Bundy.

Hope it all turns out ok.

love

sandra
xxxxxxxxx
Hi Sandra,

Have sent you a pm
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 4:45 pm
  #98  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by sj oldfield
Bundy,

I think Brirish Medics have a lot to answer for. They xrayed my dad in May, said there was nothing wrong with hi. Same again in June as he still felt poorly. Then as you may recall, a couple of days before we were due to fly they xrayed him agaim. Suddenly his lungs were full of cancer that 'wasnt' there on the previous films.
He was just coping with that news, then his 'stand in GP' ( a right bastard) knocked on his door out of the blue told him the cancer was too far gone too operate and it was also in his liver. Dad went to pieces.

The next couple of weeks it 'disappeared' from his liver and was in his back!!!!! Mum and dad spend nearly all day everyday up the hospital.

Yesterday he went up for bloods and to have a transfusion. After sitting there for nearly 3 hours the hospital realised they had 'forgotton' all about him, and sent him home as it was too late to do it.

He might be 'some ole man' to them, but he is my *****ing dad!!!!

He can hardly walk and has aged heaps. I used to work for the ole social and told him to claim Disability Living Allowance. The bastards turned him down. Do I sound bitter.....yes I am. I honestly dont know how you have kept it together Bundy.

Hope it all turns out ok.

love

sandra
xxxxxxxxx
Just read your post. I am so sorry about what has happened to your dad, I really am.

Because the whole diagnosis has been a cock up from start to finish, if I were you, I would demand a second opinion which is your right to do so.

He may have cancer yes, but a more professional approach from a decent doctor would be far better for your dear old Dad than the treatment he is getting now.

And the very fact it wasnt picked up in the first Xray immediately worries me about their professionalism.

Go and get that second opinion.

Take care and remember they may have treated your dad terribly, but you love him more than anything and money cant buy that.

Samantha
 
Old Nov 3rd 2004, 4:46 pm
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by bundy
You've had it tough too Sandra and your story made me very sad when you told us about it. Very hard decisions to make.

Yes, I've been very angry, not least because my parents live in Jersey where the healthcare is effectively a private system. If you consider the relatively small number of people on the island with cancer, it seems beyond belief that they could lose her in the system. And it wasn't as if she was keeping quiet - she kept telling them her worries and nobody listened. Seems she fell between stools with the GP, hospice and consultant.

Still, it can't be helped, what's done is done and there's no point wasting energy dwelling on it when that energy is needed for the next round. Just got to pray that it hasn't spread to her liver and then they can find a new medication for her.

And if you think the benefit system in the UK is bad - in Jersey, the system is so archaic that women don't technically *exist* except through their husbands. So my dad had to prove his Jersey status before my mum could get any sort of financial aid which, with both of them not working, was pretty crucial! I swear it was more of a stress than her diagnosis.

And a big hug for you bundy as well.

Love Sam
 
Old Nov 3rd 2004, 4:52 pm
  #100  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

You can appeal the DLA decision (as I'm sure you know) but go and get some help with filling the form from your local CAB.

It sometimes needs a non-family person to assess all the things needed. And how it's worded can have different effects. People like to manage rather than say how they feel on their "bad days".
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 8:21 pm
  #101  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Hey guys,

I'm afraid I've got more bad news. My mum has had her liver ultrasound scan and things do not look good. They've ordered an emergency MRI for tomorrow or Friday and the hospice advised us kids to get over there 'sooner rather than later'.

My mum has been screaming in pain from her back which now appears to be inflamed bone, possibly due to a tumour on her spine. She's got to use a wheelchair from now on which is a big shock to us all. She went to the pain management clinic today though and has some new drugs which seem to be helping already.

We still don't know what's going on with her liver, but given the hushed tones and hopeless faces of the medical staff, it certainly doesn't look good. Last time we were in this situation they gave her 6 weeks. They were wrong then - it hadn't reached her liver - but if they are right this time then I fear it will be considerably less because she is so much weaker this time.

My dad phoned me in tears and could barely speak. He spent the day with my mum in the same department in the same hospital where he watched his dad die on almost this very day 22 years ago. He's distraught. My mum (who actually sounded quite perky on the phone) is adamant that I get my brother to his graduation on Friday and get him through that. Then he and I will hop on the plane to Jersey on Saturday with my other brother joining us, and his wife and Mr B coming later in the week. Booked one-way tickets - who knows when we'll be coming back.

In some ways I knew this was going to happen - I was always the least positive member of my family in terms of hope for the future. Too realistic I guess. But it's a big shock nonetheless and my mum appears to have lost heart in a big way. She keeps saying that she is messing everyone's lives up, which is plainly ridiculous, but it doesn't help her. She won't have chemo or surgery even if it's offered, which it probably won't be, and I can full understand that. I wouldn't want to either.

Not sure what I'm feeling quite yet. I had to break the news to both my brothers which is never pleasant. Then I went into a frenzy of booking flights for everyone and now I'm busy getting my work done because I don't know when I'll be back.

So, I'll be at work tomorrow and then will disappear for a little while, but I'll hop online when I can from Jersey and keep you updated. I'd say send prayers and hopes and wishes this way, but I honestly don't know what to pray for.

Go hug your families a little tighter tonight.....

Bundy
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 8:23 pm
  #102  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by bundy
Hey guys,

I'm afraid I've got more bad news. My mum has had her liver ultrasound scan and things do not look good. They've ordered an emergency MRI for tomorrow or Friday and the hospice advised us kids to get over there 'sooner rather than later'.

My mum has been screaming in pain from her back which now appears to be inflamed bone, possibly due to a tumour on her spine. She's got to use a wheelchair from now on which is a big shock to us all. She went to the pain management clinic today though and has some new drugs which seem to be helping already.

We still don't know what's going on with her liver, but given the hushed tones and hopeless faces of the medical staff, it certainly doesn't look good. Last time we were in this situation they gave her 6 weeks. They were wrong then - it hadn't reached her liver - but if they are right this time then I fear it will be considerably less because she is so much weaker this time.

My dad phoned me in tears and could barely speak. He spent the day with my mum in the same department in the same hospital where he watched his dad die on almost this very day 22 years ago. He's distraught. My mum (who actually sounded quite perky on the phone) is adamant that I get my brother to his graduation on Friday and get him through that. Then he and I will hop on the plane to Jersey on Saturday with my other brother joining us, and his wife and Mr B coming later in the week. Booked one-way tickets - who knows when we'll be coming back.

In some ways I knew this was going to happen - I was always the least positive member of my family in terms of hope for the future. Too realistic I guess. But it's a big shock nonetheless and my mum appears to have lost heart in a big way. She keeps saying that she is messing everyone's lives up, which is plainly ridiculous, but it doesn't help her. She won't have chemo or surgery even if it's offered, which it probably won't be, and I can full understand that. I wouldn't want to either.

Not sure what I'm feeling quite yet. I had to break the news to both my brothers which is never pleasant. Then I went into a frenzy of booking flights for everyone and now I'm busy getting my work done because I don't know when I'll be back.

So, I'll be at work tomorrow and then will disappear for a little while, but I'll hop online when I can from Jersey and keep you updated. I'd say send prayers and hopes and wishes this way, but I honestly don't know what to pray for.

Go hug your families a little tighter tonight.....

Bundy
Hang in there Bundy, sorry to hear the bad news.
Take care of yourself too.

Matt
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 8:27 pm
  #103  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Originally Posted by bundy
Hey guys,

I'm afraid I've got more bad news. My mum has had her liver ultrasound scan and things do not look good. They've ordered an emergency MRI for tomorrow or Friday and the hospice advised us kids to get over there 'sooner rather than later'.

My mum has been screaming in pain from her back which now appears to be inflamed bone, possibly due to a tumour on her spine. She's got to use a wheelchair from now on which is a big shock to us all. She went to the pain management clinic today though and has some new drugs which seem to be helping already.

We still don't know what's going on with her liver, but given the hushed tones and hopeless faces of the medical staff, it certainly doesn't look good. Last time we were in this situation they gave her 6 weeks. They were wrong then - it hadn't reached her liver - but if they are right this time then I fear it will be considerably less because she is so much weaker this time.

My dad phoned me in tears and could barely speak. He spent the day with my mum in the same department in the same hospital where he watched his dad die on almost this very day 22 years ago. He's distraught. My mum (who actually sounded quite perky on the phone) is adamant that I get my brother to his graduation on Friday and get him through that. Then he and I will hop on the plane to Jersey on Saturday with my other brother joining us, and his wife and Mr B coming later in the week. Booked one-way tickets - who knows when we'll be coming back.

In some ways I knew this was going to happen - I was always the least positive member of my family in terms of hope for the future. Too realistic I guess. But it's a big shock nonetheless and my mum appears to have lost heart in a big way. She keeps saying that she is messing everyone's lives up, which is plainly ridiculous, but it doesn't help her. She won't have chemo or surgery even if it's offered, which it probably won't be, and I can full understand that. I wouldn't want to either.

Not sure what I'm feeling quite yet. I had to break the news to both my brothers which is never pleasant. Then I went into a frenzy of booking flights for everyone and now I'm busy getting my work done because I don't know when I'll be back.

So, I'll be at work tomorrow and then will disappear for a little while, but I'll hop online when I can from Jersey and keep you updated. I'd say send prayers and hopes and wishes this way, but I honestly don't know what to pray for.

Go hug your families a little tighter tonight.....

Bundy
I don't know what to say, I'll pray for strength for you all. We went through this in the Summer with my father in law, and hubbie just wanted to keep strong for his dad and the rest of the family.

God bless,

Philomena x
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 8:57 pm
  #104  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Biggest hugs ever Bundy - wich I could do something more concrete.

Message from a friend who understands only too well - all of you try and enjoy every moment you can together; and one of the things that he and his sister treaure the most is the letter that their mum wrote to each of them - saying all the things she'd always wanted to say. If your mum can't write, maybe your dad can write from her dictation; gives you all something valuable to hang onto.....

Keep us updated when you can baby, we'll be praying for you all

Polly & The Bloke
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Old Nov 3rd 2004, 9:06 pm
  #105  
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Default Re: BundyMum update

Bundy. Hang on in there. I have no idea what to say. When my dad went, it was so calm and the right time - if that makes sense. There was no pain and I can't imagine what it must be like for all of you now.

Loads of cyber hugs for your mum and dad - and the rest of you. Probably not thinking about such things right now, but have you got someone videoing your brother's grad to show your mum and dad.

All the best and don't try to be strong the whole time. Thinking of you.


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