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Bottling it up....
I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her
.Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! |
Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by debbie and rich I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her .Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! regards rach, mark and chanelle x |
Thanks for that .Luckily he says he DOES still want to come .I think this stems from spending last weekend with his dad and of course kids know when not to mention things so he didn't and true to his nature my ex didn't!! It must be like livng in 2 parrallel worlds, one where everyone you know asks you how its all going etc and the other where its not talked about !!
I'm glad he told me how he feels so that we can give some extra support, i'm toying with biting the bullet and speaking to his dad about it , trouble is I know what hes like he bottles it all up!! I suppose its a good sign that my son was able to get it all out eventually!! debbie |
Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by debbie and rich I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her .Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! Hope things improve :) I have two children who will be leaving their Dad behind but it has now been nearly a year since we talked of our plans. Many emotions, tears etc.. but they have gone from sad syndrome to can't wait the more time has gone on and the more research we have done. Kids are usually the first to settle from what I have heard. Also my youngest son cried everytime we mentioned OZ. Now he can't wait to leave:rolleyes: Hope things work out Earlswood |
Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by debbie and rich I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her .Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! |
Thanks again for that. Trouble is we seem to be going he other way as he has been really excited for the last year or so and I suppose the enormity of what we are doing has crept in.
I'm sure he'll be Ok I just wish his dad would chat to him and hopefully support son emotionally as I know his dad isnt against it but obviously is upset Being a teenager is bad enough any way without allthis going round in his head. Debbie |
It must be really sad to experience your sons upset. My son is 15 and still says that he is not going with us. He is leaving his dad but he has no contact with him. The only reason why he want to stay is that he can still be with his friends and family. My daughter is 12 and cannot wait.
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It it stressfull for all concerned, only an hour ago my wife punched me in face.:( :( :confused:
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Morrie,
What are your plans then? Do you think your son will come around as I dont believe my son will get to the I'm not coming stage (Ihope!) but I can imagine how awful that must feel. I dont know how long till you plan to go but hope he comes round in the end. Debbie |
Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by debbie and rich I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her .Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! Its good that its all come out....I bet he feels soo much better now he's got it all off his chest :) It must be stressful for him...he's prob confused too as his dad doesn't show his feelings. I think it might not be a bad idea to talk with his dad so that he knows how your lad feels and so he can talk to him about it. Plus don't forget that your lad is on an emotional rollercoaster anyway with all those raging hormones!!!!! My eldest (13) regularly loses it with his brother and sister as they annoy him intensely so if your lad is normally good with his sister be glad!! :D See you on the 7th!!!! Petra |
Portsmouth
By the way Morrie I live in Portsmouth too!!. are yor family going t
o the pompey meetup next week?? Debbie |
Petra,
I must admit it was a shock as my middle daughter was saying that Josh was REALLY LOUD mummy. Hes normally really easy going and patient Hes probably being building up all these feeling for a while. I do get a bit angry with his dad because sometimes you have to be the adult and put aside how you feel and just listen to what kids have to say Anyway there all best friends upstairs at the mo taking advantage of me being on here !! Looking forward to seeing you next week, I nearly phoned you in the xmas hols to see how you were getting along but I got a bit shy !! How mature am i!! Deb |
Best of luck Debbie and Rich i hope everything works out in the end. Our 14 yr old is adament that he is going no where, and only time will tell if he changes his mind or not.
footie chick |
Debbie an Rich
We live in Copnor. We are going to the meet up but I'm not sure about my son. I am trying to word it to him in the right way of how it might help him to talk to other children. Who knows he might even see a face he knows. My friend Sandra who lives across the road from me is going as she is also hoping to emigrate by September. Her son of 16 is a friend of my boy but he is really looking forward to leaving England. In the end my son does not really get a choice about staying in England as he is only 15 and will not leave his mum. I wish!
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Morrie
Hope you manage to convince him to come I think there may be quite a few in that age group . Hopefully it will help to talk to others experiencing similar feelings to them. See you there Deb |
Well even if he does not come I'm sure I will enjoy it. Over the last month being on the web and talking to all the people who feel the same as me has been wonderful. It will be nice seeing all the faces that I write to.
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Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by debbie and rich I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her .Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! |
I know !! I would not be parted from my children without the use of force so I can understand how his dad must be feeling but he has a new family now and my son has been sidelined for quite a few years so I would just like him to talk to him and tell him that he will always be there for him etc and not pretend it isnt happening. The fact is he will be an adult before we know it and the desiscion on where he wants to live will be his alone but at least he will have had this experience.
Deb |
Originally posted by morrie Well even if he does not come I'm sure I will enjoy it. Over the last month being on the web and talking to all the people who feel the same as me has been wonderful. It will be nice seeing all the faces that I write to. hope it works out for you rach x |
Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by debbie and rich I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her .Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! On top of that she has been victimised at school over that last few weeks and was beaten up on the way to school today by some little b... who at this moment cannot be named, we have been to the police and school etc., but I just feel OMG what the hell is going on in her mind. This bullying has been going on and off for the last two years and today, it has reached boiling point. I was going to put a big post on the Lounge to see what people think I should do for her......she is now going to stay at her Dads in West Sussex for a few days but at the moment I cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel and dont know which way to turn.. so back to the issue above, (sorry Im just feeling really low at the moment, God knows how she feels) I think that you just have to be really patient with him and remember as much as you are excited (and nervous) he feels exactly the same. p.s. by the way I had to take my daughter to the doctors and report this incident and my doctor was totally behind us if the police have to question her....thats another reason we cant wait to leave this country!!!Hoping for a definately better life for her!! Kath :( |
Kath,
Really sorry to hear whats happened to your daughter, it must break your heart, I hope shes OK and you manage to sort it all out. I know its the latest in a lot of incidents for you, keep your chin up, dont let the b******s get you down. Michaela |
Debbie
You should have phoned!!!!!! It would have been great to chat!! :) |
Same here girls, daughter is 15 this year adamant she wont be going with us next year after her exams. She makes me feel so guilty at times for wanting to better her life. We could do with a website just for teenagers emigrating to talk about their feelings.
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Kath I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter it must be really terrible to know that she is being bullied. I totally sympathise and I bet you just want to get hold of the little ******. We had an incident before christmas with my son when some older boys found some tablets and decided to put the in other childrens food!! They had no idea what they were, just found the packet in the street!! My son was one who got given one in a chip would you believe Didnt notice a thing apparently (food doesnt touch the sides with him!!) cue lots of hilarity by these boys . Anyway major drama at the school, teachers nurses ringing me up , quite worrying for a while but in the end the chinese writing on the package was translated at the hospital to reveal that it was chinese herbal cold cure!!!
I could do with one now actually!! I hope your daughter manages to rise above it and not get too down about it all Debbie |
Me again !! I agree about a site for the teenagers there is one on the pomsin perth site but its only a few girls at the moment talking about the bands they like etc.
Debbie |
Originally posted by rich and debbie Me again !! I agree about a site for the teenagers there is one on the pomsin perth site but its only a few girls at the moment talking about the bands they like etc. Debbie |
Originally posted by dotty Could you make some arrangements for him to still see his Dad. Last time we flew back we sat near a little guy aged 12, flying all the way from Bris to Southampton to see his mum. He was really little for 12 and we got chatting to him, I am sure if a 12 year old can handle the flight a teen would be fine. It must be really hard for kids in this situation. |
Thanks Dotty, We have always said that we would do that anyway and I have even said that they could visit us in the future. My ex contributes towards his son at the mo but I would be unhappy for that to continue when I am taking his son to the other side of the world!! I have suggested that he saves this money once we have gone and it can be used for flights etc. He agreed but I'm not sure that his wife will be quite so keen on that idea
We have always been very amicable but when money raises it ugly head things can change, he didnt even tell her that he paid anything for years and she was annoyed when she found out what sort of dad did she think he wa!!!s. Oh well it takes all sorts!! Debbie |
Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by Graham & Kath Hi I just wanted to say I know how you feel as my 14 year old has been saying her Dad doesnt mention it and she wants to say things to him, but obviously feels that she cant and she is getting stressed. On top of that she has been victimised at school over that last few weeks and was beaten up on the way to school today by some little b... who at this moment cannot be named, we have been to the police and school etc., but I just feel OMG what the hell is going on in her mind. This bullying has been going on and off for the last two years and today, it has reached boiling point. I was going to put a big post on the Lounge to see what people think I should do for her......she is now going to stay at her Dads in West Sussex for a few days but at the moment I cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel and dont know which way to turn.. so back to the issue above, (sorry Im just feeling really low at the moment, God knows how she feels) I think that you just have to be really patient with him and remember as much as you are excited (and nervous) he feels exactly the same. p.s. by the way I had to take my daughter to the doctors and report this incident and my doctor was totally behind us if the police have to question her....thats another reason we cant wait to leave this country!!!Hoping for a definately better life for her!! Kath :( Petra |
Re: Bottling it up....
Originally posted by debbie and rich I just feel so terrible at the moment... Everything has been going really well for us but I had a bit of a wake up call regarding my teenage son this evening. I had just popped out to my friend in the next road and was gone 5 minutes. When i came back my son was really upset because he had "lost it "with his youngest sister. He said she was being awkward and cheeky , nrmally he handles her really well but he said he was really shouting at her .Anyway to get to the point I said how come your so upset and angry and of course it all spilled out about going to OZ. Its not that he doesnt want to go but its because he is leaving hisdad behind. The trouble is although his dad has not voiced any objection he is the strong silent type he doesnt show his feelings. His dad doesnt mention it at all and so my son feels that he can't say anything and doesnt know how his dad feels, it must be really hard for him as its getting really close now and I dont want my son to be stressed about it all. Anyway I think he feels a bit better for getting it off his chest, although I think my daughter was quite shocked that her big brother could shout so loud !! By the way when I say he lost it , he didnt hurt her in anyway!! I have always resented my parents for doing this, and would suggest that you seriously consider whether your intended move to Oz is worth it - having lived in Oz for 18 months now I would say probably not ! (But then that's just my jaundiced view). |
hi there
I would just like to say that we moved here 2 months ago with a 14 year old boy turning 15 in sept, he is absolutely loving it here. He did some research on the internet to find out where the nearest skateparks are as he is into skateboarding and we are lucky enough to have one where we are living. He went to high school for the first time today and said that everyone was really friendly and he has made a couple of friends and has signed up for the touchrugby team so very positive so far but it is early days yet. On the other hand his 11 year old brother hated his first day in school, but was a bit happier today and is even doing homework as I am typing! and he isnt the studious type. Our younger two boys are enjoying all aspects of living here at the moment. hope this helps Juliet :) |
Thanks for your positive comments Juliet. We have thought long and hard about going and I would say my main worry has been my son because of his age. its good to hear it can be a positive experience !!
Dobbo I can empathise with what you say as I have had no contact with my real dad since I was the about the same age. I hope you can appreciate that I am not doing this lightly. I do hope though that they will manage to maintain a relationship all be it long distance and as I have said before I will encourage all forms of contact and visits. Also I take the view that he will be able to make his own decisions a couple of years and if he decides the Uk is where he'd rather be then I would respect that. Deb |
Wrong one!!
oops nmeant those last comments for sunlover sorry!!
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Re: Wrong one!!
Originally posted by rich and debbie oops nmeant those last comments for sunlover sorry!! ...bit early to be in the sherry bottle debbie...;) |
Been up since 5 rooting round the house for my stash...
found it behind the bath panel!! Not really been at work since 6 and I'm so bored Mind you Ive been working out my leaving date with the boss and hes been really cool hes letting me work my March days in Feb ( I'm part-time) so that I can have March off and still get paid so thats a great help cos I didnt want to work in the weeks leading up to the big day. Hic |
Originally posted by rich and debbie Been up since 5 rooting round the house for my stash... found it behind the bath panel!! Not really been at work since 6 and I'm so bored Mind you Ive been working out my leaving date with the boss and hes been really cool hes letting me work my March days in Feb ( I'm part-time) so that I can have March off and still get paid so thats a great help cos I didnt want to work in the weeks leading up to the big day. Hic |
54 days eeeek !!!!!!!!!!!!! 22nd March oh my god!!
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OMG!!!!!!!!! get busy girl!! :D
BTW - have you guys got 2 id's on here?? rich and debbie AND debbie and rich??? :confused: |
OOOPS I think its possible that I registered once at work and then after a period of not coming on I did it again at home.. Alcohol was probably involved somewhere along the line !!
deb |
Originally posted by rich and debbie OOOPS I think its possible that I registered once at work and then after a period of not coming on I did it again at home.. Alcohol was probably involved somewhere along the line !! deb tut tut :lecture: .....why am I not suprised??? ;) |
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