Been here two months and want to go home!
Mar 16th 2007, 1:44 pm
#61
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,187
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
It is hard when all you want to do is go home.
Hubbie said that one day I walked into the bedroom and said, "2 years and that's it, I'm going back whether your with me or not" (I don't remember though). Even now, he says he was so shocked that it was the turning point and it was then we started making plans to return to the uk.
He never wanted to return to the uk, absolutely loved oz. Unfortunately, we had other issues to contend with so we had no choice and came back after only 8 mths.
Sometimes, I think you have to go back. Even if it is just to see if things have changed. I loved being back with my daughter and family, it was great. Now 2 years on and we are heading back to australia.
Nothings changed, except me.
Mandy
Hubbie said that one day I walked into the bedroom and said, "2 years and that's it, I'm going back whether your with me or not" (I don't remember though). Even now, he says he was so shocked that it was the turning point and it was then we started making plans to return to the uk.
He never wanted to return to the uk, absolutely loved oz. Unfortunately, we had other issues to contend with so we had no choice and came back after only 8 mths.
Sometimes, I think you have to go back. Even if it is just to see if things have changed. I loved being back with my daughter and family, it was great. Now 2 years on and we are heading back to australia.
Nothings changed, except me.
Mandy
Mar 16th 2007, 5:06 pm
#62
Scottish Canuck
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Auld Scotia > Nova Scotia > Calgary
Posts: 3,703
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
Hi Est sorry to hear that you feel like that, we went through the process of emigrating together our time lines were very similar. Christmas will be here before you know it.
When we first got here i wasn't homesick i was people sick. At the beginning I wouldn't have said i was close to my family as in they took the kids out/ picked them up from school. But i saw them every week and spoke to them on the phone at least once a week. When we decided to emigrate to Australia things changed family were doing a lot more for us. Having the children over night, taking them out on day trips inviting us around to dinner and it was lovely. So when the goodbyes came it made it very hard for us. We arrived on the Gold Coast and it was beautiful, but all i kept thinking about was my family. When we were house hunting i just longed for the family to be there again to help. They were phoning every day, mom was getting upset so was my sister and this made it very hard for me i felt so guilty all the time. I wouldn't send photo's home in case they thought i was enjoying myself. If they asked do you like it there i would answer "it's to soon to tell".
It's funny how things have change, in the last 3 weeks i have spoke to my mom once. I have e mailed my sister loads of time with no response, text and e mails have slowed down so much from friends and family. It's gone back to how it use to be before we had told them we were going to emigrate. It's then i decided i couldn't live my life for my family, and if we were to go home things would just go back to how they were. I don't feel so people sick any more. I am turning 30 in a couple of weeks, if you'd asked me a month ago i would have said that i wasn't looking forward to my B'day as my family were not here to help me celebrate. But now i can't wait as my family are here my husband and my children and we are going to spend the day at the beach
It's amazing how a month can change the way you feel. I love the Gold Coast, and i am making new friends all the time and at the moment i have no thoughts of going home.
Sorry if i have rabbited on a bit.
Staceyx
When we first got here i wasn't homesick i was people sick. At the beginning I wouldn't have said i was close to my family as in they took the kids out/ picked them up from school. But i saw them every week and spoke to them on the phone at least once a week. When we decided to emigrate to Australia things changed family were doing a lot more for us. Having the children over night, taking them out on day trips inviting us around to dinner and it was lovely. So when the goodbyes came it made it very hard for us. We arrived on the Gold Coast and it was beautiful, but all i kept thinking about was my family. When we were house hunting i just longed for the family to be there again to help. They were phoning every day, mom was getting upset so was my sister and this made it very hard for me i felt so guilty all the time. I wouldn't send photo's home in case they thought i was enjoying myself. If they asked do you like it there i would answer "it's to soon to tell".
It's funny how things have change, in the last 3 weeks i have spoke to my mom once. I have e mailed my sister loads of time with no response, text and e mails have slowed down so much from friends and family. It's gone back to how it use to be before we had told them we were going to emigrate. It's then i decided i couldn't live my life for my family, and if we were to go home things would just go back to how they were. I don't feel so people sick any more. I am turning 30 in a couple of weeks, if you'd asked me a month ago i would have said that i wasn't looking forward to my B'day as my family were not here to help me celebrate. But now i can't wait as my family are here my husband and my children and we are going to spend the day at the beach
It's amazing how a month can change the way you feel. I love the Gold Coast, and i am making new friends all the time and at the moment i have no thoughts of going home.Sorry if i have rabbited on a bit.
Staceyx
Mar 17th 2007, 3:26 am
#63
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 8,441
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
Mar 17th 2007, 3:43 am
#64
Home in 2010.
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: UK-Holland-OZ-UK-OZ-2010 Back to UK
Posts: 664
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
Hi Est sorry to hear that you feel like that, we went through the process of emigrating together our time lines were very similar. Christmas will be here before you know it.
When we first got here i wasn't homesick i was people sick. At the beginning I wouldn't have said i was close to my family as in they took the kids out/ picked them up from school. But i saw them every week and spoke to them on the phone at least once a week. When we decided to emigrate to Australia things changed family were doing a lot more for us. Having the children over night, taking them out on day trips inviting us around to dinner and it was lovely. So when the goodbyes came it made it very hard for us. We arrived on the Gold Coast and it was beautiful, but all i kept thinking about was my family. When we were house hunting i just longed for the family to be there again to help. They were phoning every day, mom was getting upset so was my sister and this made it very hard for me i felt so guilty all the time. I wouldn't send photo's home in case they thought i was enjoying myself. If they asked do you like it there i would answer "it's to soon to tell".
It's funny how things have change, in the last 3 weeks i have spoke to my mom once. I have e mailed my sister loads of time with no response, text and e mails have slowed down so much from friends and family. It's gone back to how it use to be before we had told them we were going to emigrate. It's then i decided i couldn't live my life for my family, and if we were to go home things would just go back to how they were. I don't feel so people sick any more. I am turning 30 in a couple of weeks, if you'd asked me a month ago i would have said that i wasn't looking forward to my B'day as my family were not here to help me celebrate. But now i can't wait as my family are here my husband and my children and we are going to spend the day at the beach It's amazing how a month can change the way you feel. I love the Gold Coast, and i am making new friends all the time and at the moment i have no thoughts of going home.
Sorry if i have rabbited on a bit.
Staceyx
When we first got here i wasn't homesick i was people sick. At the beginning I wouldn't have said i was close to my family as in they took the kids out/ picked them up from school. But i saw them every week and spoke to them on the phone at least once a week. When we decided to emigrate to Australia things changed family were doing a lot more for us. Having the children over night, taking them out on day trips inviting us around to dinner and it was lovely. So when the goodbyes came it made it very hard for us. We arrived on the Gold Coast and it was beautiful, but all i kept thinking about was my family. When we were house hunting i just longed for the family to be there again to help. They were phoning every day, mom was getting upset so was my sister and this made it very hard for me i felt so guilty all the time. I wouldn't send photo's home in case they thought i was enjoying myself. If they asked do you like it there i would answer "it's to soon to tell".
It's funny how things have change, in the last 3 weeks i have spoke to my mom once. I have e mailed my sister loads of time with no response, text and e mails have slowed down so much from friends and family. It's gone back to how it use to be before we had told them we were going to emigrate. It's then i decided i couldn't live my life for my family, and if we were to go home things would just go back to how they were. I don't feel so people sick any more. I am turning 30 in a couple of weeks, if you'd asked me a month ago i would have said that i wasn't looking forward to my B'day as my family were not here to help me celebrate. But now i can't wait as my family are here my husband and my children and we are going to spend the day at the beach
It's amazing how a month can change the way you feel. I love the Gold Coast, and i am making new friends all the time and at the moment i have no thoughts of going home.Sorry if i have rabbited on a bit.
Staceyx
Our first time around in Oz was same for us, when we left we had leaving parties and we had strong family ties and great friends. After 4 years went back and found family around our house everyday, then every week, then once a fortnight...... As for friends they all stayed exactly as they were but things were never the same again as it was prior to us leaving. Anyway this time around I miss my parents as always, my friends email us if we email them with photo's or news. I am happier this time around, have not once thought about going home to UK, I guess I even regard Oz as home now.
Last time around I even worried that if I died I would never be able to be buried in my beloved England, now then can use me as chum for the fish out on the reef if they want.
Some people have to go back to see what it was they were missing, many then ping pong back. I am glad I ping ponged otherwise I may have lived in "I-wonder-land" for ever.
I am happy, my OH is happy and my kids are happy. I hope the original poster finds happiness.
E
Mar 17th 2007, 3:48 am
#65
Home in 2010.
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: UK-Holland-OZ-UK-OZ-2010 Back to UK
Posts: 664
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
E
Mar 17th 2007, 3:55 am
#66
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,820
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
I do not know an individuals circumstances, but isn't a relationship about working things out as a couple? Would husband not consider going to UK to give it a go there? I was desperatly unhappy here my first time around and OH said we would go back to UK if that's what I wanted. I would hate to think my OH was doing something that made them unhappy.
E
E
Mar 17th 2007, 3:59 am
#67
'In limboland'
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,880
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
Polly, please put me out of misery and tell me what you're location says in sober English?
Mar 17th 2007, 4:03 am
#68
Home in 2010.
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: UK-Holland-OZ-UK-OZ-2010 Back to UK
Posts: 664
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
He's an Aussie, never lived anywhere else, and while I've thought about it long and hard he just doesn't have a style of living that would fit with the UK, plus the difficulty of finding jobs in our mid-40s. I've reached th conclusion that one of us will always feel like a fish out of water and I'm mor adaptable than he is........Just a question now of working out how to make the best of things
I guess in some, if not a lot, there will always be one partner who "puts up with" to make things ok. I have been on and off this board for 3 years or so now and have read with interest others lives. I remember Dotty who was unhappy and I think after many years returned, do you remember her? and Donna and OH from Perth they both hated it and I think they also returned and of course wilf. Would be interesting to see how those folks got on.
Mar 17th 2007, 4:53 am
#70
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,820
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
I know this sounds kind of morbid Pollyana, but do you think you will ever be happy or will you go to your grave never really bieng happy again? Life is so short not to enjoy it.
I guess in some, if not a lot, there will always be one partner who "puts up with" to make things ok. I have been on and off this board for 3 years or so now and have read with interest others lives. I remember Dotty who was unhappy and I think after many years returned, do you remember her? and Donna and OH from Perth they both hated it and I think they also returned and of course wilf. Would be interesting to see how those folks got on.
I guess in some, if not a lot, there will always be one partner who "puts up with" to make things ok. I have been on and off this board for 3 years or so now and have read with interest others lives. I remember Dotty who was unhappy and I think after many years returned, do you remember her? and Donna and OH from Perth they both hated it and I think they also returned and of course wilf. Would be interesting to see how those folks got on.
What ever happened to ceri? Is she still here?
Mar 17th 2007, 5:31 am
#72
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 16
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
Hi
For us its the other way round.......me and the kids have settled really well after 6 months, but hubby [who had aready lived here in the past] is the one who is struggling.
He has just been diagnosed as suffering from anxiety and depression. This is the first time in his life he has had anything like this......if your interested, I have started another thread.
Anyway, at the moment, we are living day to day, trying to get through. Its very hard, but as much as he is low and vulnerable, he doesn't know why. I know he misses friends, and maybe the familiarity of the UK.
At the end of the day, when he is feeling mentally stronger, we will sit down and decide what we need to do to make things right. I am against going back at present, as in his present frame of mind, he is seeing things through very rosy glasses.
It took us three years to get here, involved many visits and much research......too much to decide where our future lies without a clear mind set.
HOWEVER, its bloody hard, I desperatey feel for him. He is a stronge guy, but is poleaxed!! You have to do what is best for your situation.
We all had the guts to give it a go which is more than any people.
As I keep saying to hubby- we are brave for trying [because he feels weak, and that he has let us down].
Hope this has made sense. Good luck to everyone in finding happiness and contentment, wherever it may be.
For us its the other way round.......me and the kids have settled really well after 6 months, but hubby [who had aready lived here in the past] is the one who is struggling.
He has just been diagnosed as suffering from anxiety and depression. This is the first time in his life he has had anything like this......if your interested, I have started another thread.
Anyway, at the moment, we are living day to day, trying to get through. Its very hard, but as much as he is low and vulnerable, he doesn't know why. I know he misses friends, and maybe the familiarity of the UK.
At the end of the day, when he is feeling mentally stronger, we will sit down and decide what we need to do to make things right. I am against going back at present, as in his present frame of mind, he is seeing things through very rosy glasses.
It took us three years to get here, involved many visits and much research......too much to decide where our future lies without a clear mind set.
HOWEVER, its bloody hard, I desperatey feel for him. He is a stronge guy, but is poleaxed!! You have to do what is best for your situation.
We all had the guts to give it a go which is more than any people.
As I keep saying to hubby- we are brave for trying [because he feels weak, and that he has let us down].
Hope this has made sense. Good luck to everyone in finding happiness and contentment, wherever it may be.
Mar 17th 2007, 5:52 am
#74
Home in 2010.
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: UK-Holland-OZ-UK-OZ-2010 Back to UK
Posts: 664
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!
Mar 17th 2007, 7:11 am
#75
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,820
Re: Been here two months and want to go home!