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Been here two months and want to go home!

Been here two months and want to go home!

Old Mar 11th 2007, 3:54 am
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Default Been here two months and want to go home!

Hello everyone
Well I don't want this post to sound negative but can't stop thinking about going home even though couldn't wait to get out here.
Australia is a beautiful country. We are living in Sydney near Cronulla a really nice part of the country. Love the beaches, love the weather but missing my mum and dad so much.
Both me and my husband are finding it so hard without the support of the grandparents looking after the kids. Kids really missing their grandparents too. My daughter cries for her nana all the time which makes me feel really awful.
Kids have started school which they actually like which is good. I am still not working, maybe I will feel better when I do, hope so.
found the whole thing about Australians working shorter hours a bit of a myth. My husband and other friends and family work in Sydney and generally finish about 6.30 - 7.00pm the same if not later than UK, so things on that score not that much different really. In general find the wages lower but frustratingly house prices higher. But then suppose this depends on the area. Sydney is the biggest city in Australia I suppose
We have been to Australia before on a long holiday and loved it but really think I mixed up enjoying a place to holiday rather than actually living here.
Really don't want to put people off coming, think if you want to do it you should go for it even if you end up coming home at least you have tried!
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 4:05 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by stardust View Post
Hello everyone
Well I don't want this post to sound negative but can't stop thinking about going home even though couldn't wait to get out here.
Australia is a beautiful country. We are living in Sydney near Cronulla a really nice part of the country. Love the beaches, love the weather but missing my mum and dad so much.
Both me and my husband are finding it so hard without the support of the grandparents looking after the kids. Kids really missing their grandparents too. My daughter cries for her nana all the time which makes me feel really awful.
Kids have started school which they actually like which is good. I am still not working, maybe I will feel better when I do, hope so.
found the whole thing about Australians working shorter hours a bit of a myth. My husband and other friends and family work in Sydney and generally finish about 6.30 - 7.00pm the same if not later than UK, so things on that score not that much different really. In general find the wages lower but frustratingly house prices higher. But then suppose this depends on the area. Sydney is the biggest city in Australia I suppose
We have been to Australia before on a long holiday and loved it but really think I mixed up enjoying a place to holiday rather than actually living here.
Really don't want to put people off coming, think if you want to do it you should go for it even if you end up coming home at least you have tried!
Know where you're coming from. Been here since June last year and it's been tough. We were very close to family and have found that the hardest. Just take it as it comes. Get through the week, then try the month. It does get easier, honest.

Cheers

Ginny
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 4:11 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Sorry you are having a hard time. I think that anyone who has support from family members to look after their children would find the change difficult no matter where they moved to. I expect that if you moved even within the UK you would feel the same especially if the kids are young. Having a close-knit family would also make the move more difficult to adjust to.

However, it's still very early days for you and hopefully you will find some work soon. I think your outlook would change for the better once you are back in the workplace. It will be a great way to meet new friends and 'normalise' your life.

Good luck
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 4:13 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by Stitch View Post
Know where you're coming from. Been here since June last year and it's been tough. We were very close to family and have found that the hardest. Just take it as it comes. Get through the week, then try the month. It does get easier, honest.

Cheers

Ginny
You are right Stitch - the closer the family, the harder the move.

My kids are teenagers and although I have great friends in the UK my family is not really that close. All in all my family situation made the move easier.

PS love Oor Wullie
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 4:14 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

thanks for the kind remarks good to get some sympathy and reassurance
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 4:20 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Hang on in there, you're just having a bit of a bumpy start. You are allowed to feel emotional about your move but try and focus on why you moved and the great opportunities that lie ahead, especially for your kids
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 4:22 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by stardust View Post
Hello everyone
Well I don't want this post to sound negative but can't stop thinking about going home even though couldn't wait to get out here.
Australia is a beautiful country. We are living in Sydney near Cronulla a really nice part of the country. Love the beaches, love the weather but missing my mum and dad so much.
Both me and my husband are finding it so hard without the support of the grandparents looking after the kids. Kids really missing their grandparents too. My daughter cries for her nana all the time which makes me feel really awful.
Kids have started school which they actually like which is good. I am still not working, maybe I will feel better when I do, hope so.
found the whole thing about Australians working shorter hours a bit of a myth. My husband and other friends and family work in Sydney and generally finish about 6.30 - 7.00pm the same if not later than UK, so things on that score not that much different really. In general find the wages lower but frustratingly house prices higher. But then suppose this depends on the area. Sydney is the biggest city in Australia I suppose
We have been to Australia before on a long holiday and loved it but really think I mixed up enjoying a place to holiday rather than actually living here.
Really don't want to put people off coming, think if you want to do it you should go for it even if you end up coming home at least you have tried!

Hi
We are Ping Pong Poms, this is our second time around. First time we came it was just me and OH, this time its us and three young children. First time here I hated it, wanted to go home even before we landed, stuck it for 4 years then went home. We all stayed in UK for 6 years before returning to Oz. This time I am very happy, I am relaxed and loving it. Your feelings are not a one off, many people go through it. You have so much to sort out when you arrive it can be daunting enough without the feelings of missing family. First time around we too were in Sydney, this time we are on the Gold Coast.

Stick with it and hang in there. I hope you settle in soon, I am sure you will get many replies from people who have gone through what you are.

J
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 5:09 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

You're at that two month in stage.

You've done all the sorting out that needs doing when you first get here and now you're feeling 'what now?' Nothing is familiar and you feel just lost. You also think, if I go back everything will be back to normal and it will be easier.

I felt just like that and I didn't have any parents to miss. It does get easier, just hang in there. If you still feel the same after a year, then go back. At least then you can say you gave yourself time to adjust.

Don't forget that we are all here for you if you want a moan.
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 5:12 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

my wife and daughter want to go home aswell after only a couple of months
i dont understand as i love it here but every one cant have the same feelings
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 6:49 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by pike View Post
my wife and daughter want to go home aswell after only a couple of months
i dont understand as i love it here but every one cant have the same feelings
You've got to give it time. Two months is too soon to start regretting your decisions. I had to go back to an old post of mine http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166477 to remind myself how long it took to settle in - we've been here nearly 5 years now and sometimes I almost forget I even lived in England once upon a time! It took a good three months for things to start feeling "familiar", things were better still after six months, and I think it was about 2 years before life felt, well, "normal" for want of a better word. After 3 years or so, we had a trip back to England, and it felt strange going there and I was glad to be "back home" here in Australia.

Don't worry, you're still in a "readjustment" stage. Things will settle down, in time. You've got past the major hurdles of applying for the visas and the traumatic process of actually emigrating, but this part, being new in a strange country can be just as tough. Give yourselves time to adjust and try not to make any hasty decisions in the first 2 years.
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 7:32 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by Yes-can-do View Post
Hang on in there, you're just having a bit of a bumpy start. You are allowed to feel emotional about your move but try and focus on why you moved and the great opportunities that lie ahead, especially for your kids
Absolutely, I found the three month mark the hardest, even though I loved being here I started to miss my friends which was heightened as I didnt know many people here (OK one person and her family!) and the area we lived in was not particularly friendly.

Give yourself a breather, stop putting pressure on yourself and try and go with the flow for a while, two months isnt long enough to make the decision to go back as your emotions are still all over the place.

Hope you feel better soon
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 7:35 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Hey this homesickness (peoplesickness) business is terrible isn't it. i think that the reason the pull to go back home is sooooo strong (i came home after 7 months and now am going back) is because the feelings are so strong, probably stronger than anything i had felt before. yes you try to plan for it, you realise that you are going to miss everybody, but it come so quick and takes you by surprise the level of anxiety that it pulls the rug out from beneath you.

you have found this site, i wish i had found this site, that is good. you will realise that you are not alone in this, lots of people have felt the exact same way and pulled through. i know when i was homesick i honestly thought that if i felt so sad it was a sign that i shouldn't be there. little did i know that almost all (not all as some start talking the lingo when the plane touches down )expats go through some adjusting and settling down for the first 6 months. at least give yourself till then.

good luck, chin up and try to find at least one thing everyday that makes you glad to be in oz. even if it is as simple as going to the beach every night and watching the sea. it can really lift your spirits.

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Old Mar 11th 2007, 8:53 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by bridie View Post
Absolutely, I found the three month mark the hardest, even though I loved being here I started to miss my friends which was heightened as I didnt know many people here (OK one person and her family!) and the area we lived in was not particularly friendly.

Give yourself a breather, stop putting pressure on yourself and try and go with the flow for a while, two months isnt long enough to make the decision to go back as your emotions are still all over the place.

Hope you feel better soon
I know what you mean, we're at the three month stage now and its been hard with missing all of our family and friends and I've often thought about wanting to return to the UK. Its not made it easier as we're both struggling to find work, although I've just secured a 12 month contract and start this week so hopefully that will help me to meet new people and make a few friends.

We're going to do our best to give it at least 2 years though and then see how things are from then.

Good luck anyway and just keep plugging away at it for a while, things may get better with time.
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 8:57 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by wafc View Post
Its not made it easier as we're both struggling to find work, although I've just secured a 12 month contract and start this week so hopefully that will help me to meet new people and make a few friends.
Good luck with the new job

I'd say it took me probably a year to feel completely settled and stop missing my old friends quite so much. It just takes a while to get to know new people and have that "comfortable" feeling around them I guess, plus knowing your way around without having to refer to a map every five minutes, just silly stuff that forces you to remember you're new here!
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Old Mar 11th 2007, 9:01 am
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Default Re: Been here two months and want to go home!

Originally Posted by bridie View Post
Good luck with the new job

I'd say it took me probably a year to feel completely settled and stop missing my old friends quite so much. It just takes a while to get to know new people and have that "comfortable" feeling around them I guess, plus knowing your way around without having to refer to a map every five minutes, just silly stuff that forces you to remember you're new here!
Cheers Bridie, I actually quite like the thought of living somehwere like you in Bunbury etc, somewhere thats a little quieter but still has all of the amenities which you need.

I know its a hell of a lot quieter up here than the UK but its still busy in Perth. I'm not sure what the market for IT work is in places like Bunbury though.

I've never visited Bunbury but I will have to do soon.
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