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-   -   The Ashes (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/ashes-287688/)

wombat42 Mar 4th 2005 4:44 pm

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by JohnoBronco
Mate I cant wait to hear your excuses or will u disappear with the shame of losing to the poms?????

If we lose its expected but if we win............... :D

If England won, it would'nt be just me the whole country would be in a state of shock, they would probably fly the Aussie flag at half mask and make it a national day of mourning. But the only way England could win is if the entire Aussie team is killed in a bus or plane crash :eek: and are replaced by a dreadful inexperienced team. :( that plays England in their place.

Siren & Brian Mar 5th 2005 12:31 am

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by JohnoBronco
Mate I cant wait to hear your excuses or will u disappear with the shame of losing to the poms?????

If we lose its expected but if we win............... :D


IF IF IF IF.... no if's Aussies will win and the Poms will lose.... simple

JohnoBronco Mar 5th 2005 11:11 am

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by Siren
IF IF IF IF.... no if's Aussies will win and the Poms will lose.... simple

Bring it on - you guys are gonna be surprised how much England have improved even if we dont win I expect it to be a bit closer then normal

Siren & Brian Mar 5th 2005 11:16 am

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by JohnoBronco
Bring it on - you guys are gonna be surprised how much England have improved even if we dont win I expect it to be a bit closer then normal


Well hope they have improved cos last time it was pathetic

JohnoBronco Mar 5th 2005 11:18 am

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by Siren
Well hope they have improved cos last time it was pathetic

I agree but everyones pathetic when they play Australia!!!!!1

NJJ Mar 5th 2005 2:02 pm

Re: The Ashes
 
Well at least we can better the Aussies in the sledging stakes.
Anyone remember this?? -

"Oi Steve, best batsman in the world? You ain't even the best batsman in your family!"

thepoacher Mar 6th 2005 6:38 am

Re: The Ashes
 
I do love a good bit of sledging - anyone remember these?

Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired:
"Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied:
"Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.


Merv Hughes & Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between England and Australia. Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star:
"You can't f***ing bat, mate."
Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied:
"Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."

Peter Mar 6th 2005 7:42 am

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by JohnoBronco
Bring it on - you guys are gonna be surprised how much England have improved even if we dont win I expect it to be a bit closer then normal

I watched the SA vs England series on Austar; I was surprised how the Poms didn't chuck it in once. They held their heads up well, even at Cape Town.

They were ripped off in Durban, but what can you do?

SA aren't the easiest team in the world to beat in their country (unless you're Australia) and I was impressed by England overall.

Still, Vaughan had no idea how to bowl Simon Jones, he overbowled Freddy and Harmison just wanted to be home (he's a confessed bad traveller).

SA made some odd selection choices too. Tsolekile should never have come ahead of Boucher, they're not even on the same page. Amla's stance at the wicket just cries out leg before wicket and his inclusion ahead of van Jaarsveld was baffling.

There must be at least 5 bowlers in SA who are faster/better than Steyn. van der Wath comes to mind.

Anyhow, 3-1 Australia. England will win at the Oval in a dead rubber match.

JohnoBronco Mar 6th 2005 9:21 pm

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by Peter
I watched the SA vs England series on Austar; I was surprised how the Poms didn't chuck it in once. They held their heads up well, even at Cape Town.

They were ripped off in Durban, but what can you do?

SA aren't the easiest team in the world to beat in their country (unless you're Australia) and I was impressed by England overall.

Still, Vaughan had no idea how to bowl Simon Jones, he overbowled Freddy and Harmison just wanted to be home (he's a confessed bad traveller).

SA made some odd selection choices too. Tsolekile should never have come ahead of Boucher, they're not even on the same page. Amla's stance at the wicket just cries out leg before wicket and his inclusion ahead of van Jaarsveld was baffling.

There must be at least 5 bowlers in SA who are faster/better than Steyn. van der Wath comes to mind.

Anyhow, 3-1 Australia. England will win at the Oval in a dead rubber match.


This is what I've been saying England have come on leaps and bounds since the last Series and are the only side other then Australia to have won a series in South Africa since the proteas were re admitted to the test arena

OzTennis Mar 6th 2005 10:01 pm

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by thepoacher
I do love a good bit of sledging - anyone remember these?

Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired:
"Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied:
"Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.


Merv Hughes & Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between England and Australia. Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star:
"You can't f***ing bat, mate."
Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied:
"Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."

Yep, Eddo Brandes takes the Oscar for the best quip. Ponting had another good one with a bowler. He played a missed a few times and the bowler said sarcastically, 'it's round and red just in case you don't know what you are looking for' (or words to that effect). Ponting hit him for six next ball and said 'you know what it looks like, go and f*****g find it'. :D

OzTennis :)

katiesel Mar 7th 2005 9:40 am

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by wombat42
A would'nt call it a battle more like a massacre or a one sided slaughter.

Lets just hope Shane Warne's Mummy gives him and the rest of the team some more of her 'diuretics'!

JohnoBronco Mar 8th 2005 10:34 pm

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by katiesel
Lets just hope Shane Warne's Mummy gives him and the rest of the team some more of her 'diuretics'!

Nah they didnt work the first time around he's still a who ate all the pies......... :D

Peter Mar 8th 2005 10:43 pm

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by katiesel
Lets just hope Shane Warne's Mummy gives him and the rest of the team some more of her 'diuretics'!

Even if Warne was still banned, you'd have to contend with MacGill and he's no slouch as a spinner.

BillyGoatGruff Mar 8th 2005 10:43 pm

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by thepoacher
The Pommies will narrowly win the first Test which will enrage the Ozzies into destroying them in the next four.

Result 4 - 1 to Australia.

nope, same as usual - australia will be 3 or 4-0 up, then take the foot off the gas and england will sneak one.

(no indian bookies involved there then :p)

thepoacher Mar 8th 2005 11:46 pm

Re: The Ashes
 

Originally Posted by BillyGoatGruff
nope, same as usual - australia will be 3 or 4-0 up, then take the foot off the gas and england will sneak one.

(no indian bookies involved there then :p)


Maybe, maybe, either way you're talking 4-1 I reckon.

Due to an administrative error on my part I leave England and fly into Brisbane on the 21st July (first day of the first Ashes test) thereby missing all chance to watch any of the cricket live (and I had tickets for Old Trafford, d'oh).
Anyway, probably a silly question but, will I be able to watch the Test's on terrestrial TV in Oz, preferable in a pub...with a pint?


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