irishbloo

My husbands mother lives in The Uk. She has recently turned 75. We are a bit concerned regarding her health and cant seem to get any sense from her when we ask. She lives on her own and her only contact is us living here. She doesn't have any friends,relatives or neighbours that she talks to. Is there a community nurse that we can contact in the Uk to go and check on her and then update us. Short of flying over to see her we don't know what else to do. Any advice would be great. Thanks.

Daisytreadlight

Hi S, hope you are well? What about contacting Age UK, they have a website but I can't provide the link, sorry, my I T skills are too limited There is lots of info on there so hopefully they would be able to give you some advice.

All the best D x

quoll

If you know her GP surgery give them a call and ask what resources are available in the area. Alternatively your county will probably have a service that covers the usual "in home support" services - a quick google might give you a number then you can call them to see how to action some intervention. I know some villages around here have a sort of helping hands support service but the GP should know what is on offer. Good luck!!!

Stinkypup

Sorry to butt-in on a forum outside my continent. I was a GP in the UK before doing the same in Canada. I would get your other half if they can to write a letter voicing your concerns which sadly sound significant to her GP. He/she could discuss on the phone with him but due to confidentiality issues, the GP may or may not be happy to talk. They could however listen to his concerns. They could then perhaps urgently send a community nurse who could do a basic assessment and then if there are problems with significant risk, cooker left on, rotten food around the place etc, then action would then be taken as she is a vulnerable person at unacceptable risk. Any plans for him to visit anytime soon?- a lot easier to do locally- I do appreciate the distance from the UK though. He also would need to look at setting up a Power of Attorney so that he is in a position of at least some control.

irishbloo

Thanks D. I will have a look at that.

irishbloo

Thanks A,
My husband will speak to her and see if he can get her doctors number and hopefully get more information. Thank you.

irishbloo

Thank you for this. Lots to think about. She is very independent and has been on her own for many years. She is a "young" 75 and is very capable with lots of things but she tends to rattle on that it is difficult to understand. My oh will speak to her and see if he can persuade her to have someone pop round. No plans at the moment to visit but it can be arranged. Thanks again.

Gordon Barlow

Irish. My mother put herself into an Abbeyfield "sheltered accommodation" in Hereford (an old people's home, with separate rooms of course). She was not a gregarious person, but she did make friends - some through the local Conservative Club, which had cheap lunches. I used to visit her twice a year, and was allowed to rent a spare room if one was available; otherwise I slept on her couch. The home was very comfortable and comforting; if I were to live in England on my own I would certainly join the club. Abbeyfields vary in quality, and the wardens probably do too, but they have a good reputation.

renth

My grandad went in an Abbeyfield and lived there for about 5 years or so. It was a really nice home for him and the people were very kind.

Gordon Barlow

Where was that, renth (not your real name), if you don't mind my asking? I may need one some day, so I need to start sussing some out.

When my Mum was in hospital and I had to fly over, the Abbeyfield let me stay in her room for a week - no problem. They couldn't have been nicer.

quoll

I would second the suggestion of PoA - it's quite a lengthy process but not that difficult to do. It's made life much easier for me in dealing with my mum's stuff but both my parents were very resistant to the idea initially - now they see it was a good idea. It's not something that means you march in and take over but that you can act with their welfare at the core when the need arises. There are two PoAs - financial and medical.

irishbloo

Thanks to all of you for your help and advice and pms. Lots to think about.

renth

15 Cobbett Rd, Southampton