Bibbs

This isn't a sexist comment, just an observation.

Just having read these forums for a bit it seems to be mainly the women in families that get homesick.

Is this because they are sat at home all day with their husbands working?

Dorothy

Hardly a case of women 'being sat at home all day while the men are at work'. Some of us women are allowed to go out of the house now. You know, what with being given the vote and all. Some of us are even allowed to...shock horror...WORK outside the home. I know it's a concept foreign to some men, but some of us women folk actually are the ones who go to work while the men stay home.

I think you'll find that the majority of the posts about homesickness coming from women is because for the most part women are more likely to discuss their feelings where men tend to bottle it up and deny that they are feeling homesick.

Sparky wife

Some good suggestions here.

It certainly isn't limited to women, although I do agree with Dorothy. Women are more likely to discuss their feelings.

Sparky hub really struggled when we landed in April. I think the shock hit him, cause in the weeks before we left, sellings cars, saying goodbye, he was so cool about it all. Only two days in and he was adamant he wanted to return to the UK. Then three weeks in, our house back in the UK sold and that made him worse. What had he done??!! For the first three months he felt like this. He was a bit of a shell. It was so difficult and caused so many arguments between us so I really feel for the family in question.

After three months, a change of job and feeling a bit more settled having been in our rental for a while things began to improve.

I really hope that things improve for this family- it could well be the shock, or perhaps she has realized that she can't live on the other side of the world after all.

spartacus

As unpalatable as it may be, I agree with Bidds. Its a generalisation, but it seems to be stop at home mums / housewives who suffer the most with homesickness.

However, I distance myself from the insensitive 'sat at home all day' comment.












'Lying on the couch watching day-time tele' would be fairer.

dickchap

I have only been in Mackay for nearly 3 weeks and although it has been very stressful and I am feeling lonely with just the kids for company I know that once we move into our permanent rental (at the weekend) things will change. I haven't thought about going home as it took so much effort to get here. When I hear from friends about how cold it is back in the UK it makes me smile. Of course it takes time to make a life for yourself but after 10 days I'm sure its not enough time. I've had a few down moments but not considered going back. Don't give up.

slipshot

Much as I sympathise, as others have said 10 days is nothing, but it does again make me wonder how much people prepare for this? It is something that has been in their plans for ages, I'm sure, and probably took a lot of money and the like because it's a 'great adventure' and a 'new experience'. All too easy to forget the reality, which she is now experiencing.

You have to give it a go and try and put some minimum time period in place, but I do feel that people often jump into the unknown with the best intentions without really thinking it through and end up miserable.

Why?

Bibbs

I didn't mean to offend. It was just a generalization I'd got from looking at several forums.

I'm a modern man, the other half is a business woman, she owns the house we live in (I'm not on the deeds or mortgage).

It just seems that if you don't have anything to "do", and if you are left on your own for long periods, that you think too much and get home sick.

I'm bad enough when I have a day sick at home. Having that for a week would bore me to tears.

When I get back to Perth, me and the GF (by then, wife) will both be working. We have no kids so we'll not have time to sit and ponder.

Have they even thought about working in the local store? You then meet people and have something to do.

Hutch

Re: the whole women suffering more from homesickness than blokes. I think there's an element of truth in this, but I don't think it's just to do with mums at home all day raising kids etc. More generalisations, but I think it's also down to the fact that blokes can be more self-reliant when it comes to friends than women can. I think women take time to build a network of like-minded mates and that they suffer badly when removed from that network, whereas blokes can be far more pragmatic about it, taking that attitude that if they makes mates then great, but if they don't it's no big loss. Last generalisation of this comment - basically boils down to women's fundamental need to endlessly discuss every aspect of life with someone - if all you've got is your husband who (if he's anything like me just replies in grunts and stuttered 'yea's) doesn't have that need - then I imagine it can be distressing.

squeezzii

I would also imagine that not living in your own home and maybe being in a rental would be enough for some- I found being in a rental in a strange town in a strange country, not knowing anyone - you would feel invisible and that is not nice you soon start to yearn for your F & F - even the time difference now- you have to wait virtually all day before you can ring home when in fact its the first thing on your mind when you wake up
homesickness? YEAH ITS SHIT!

Margaret3

will you marry me

brendan_brissy

my wife and i moved to brissy 4 years ago and felt home sick from the start, to a point after about 9 months that we hated everything about Australia, we stuck it out for another 3 years and it got a lot better but we still felt we were missing home so we decided to move back to uk. We were back only 2 months when we realised why we went in the first place and missed everything about our life in oz. We are going back to brissy in Jan, 6 months after we got back, gonna spend 1 more xmas with relatives. After that time in oz we cannot let our girls 14 and 12 grow up in this "chav" enviroment.
As far as speaking to family now we are back we never get time to see them as we are all working and realised we chatted more when we were in oz.
My advise for your friend is stick it out and if she has kids do it for them.
Brendan