DIANE UK

Hi,
I am married to a South African man who has been living in England with me for the last 15 years. He now wants to move back to SA where all his family live, and obviously wants me there with him.
I have visited SA many times and do love it in the Cape where his brother lives, who is also married to a British girl that moved there 13 years ago.

My biggest problem, other than missing my family of course, is will i feel 'trapped', not being able to come and go as i please in England, will i be safe at home all day whilst hubby earns a crust. i do understand that i will have to be extra vigilant but some of the things you read scare you to death, though ive never encountered any problems whenever
ive visited.
Also the only people i know out there is hubbys family, and as i have grown children will not meet people by taking kids to school.
I know only i can make the decision about moving, but just hope we are doing the right thing.
Hopefully we will move there and know we have made the right move and i will get to meet
people through similar sites like this.

Di x

TheVickers

We movd back to the UK in 1998 because of the violence and crime, although my brothers wife goes back regularly to visit family. As long as you know the places to avoid, keep your car windows up and doors locked and your house alarmed and burglar bars on the windows and doors you should be fine.

newkiwi

Best of luck, its tough moving to any country.
Cape Town is a beautiful city, nice weather, I hope you will enjoy it.

There is crime in SA, you just need to accept that, and be more vigilant but if you stick to places you know you will likely be fine. If you can get a house in a security complex that will be even better.

not much to say really, just wishing you good luck from an ex saffa living in new zealand. feel free to drop me a line if you wanna know anything more.

i grew up in pretoria, spent only a little time in cape town though

cheers

Uitlander

Hi

Don't risk returning to SA. Crime and murder is totally out of control in all parts of the country.
No matter how many bars, armed response and other security systems you have. It is never enough, you will always be, rightly, worried about your life and the life of those you care for.

I saw considerable violence when lived in Cape Town. All non South Africans should get out of SA while they can.

whalewatcher

I'm a Brit with an SA wife, been in Cape Town for 10 years.

Cape Town isn't a war zone if you don't live in the townships, although I wouldn't now consider living in other parts of SA at all. For most of the time here I've felt more directly threatened by the atrocious driving than by crime. We've been lucky not to be victims of violence, and we live a normal life from day to day. However, the economic and demographic statistics are pretty scary, and often keep me awake at night.

Every annual visit to the UK is a jolt, as it underlines the many absurdities of life here, and it's these little details that can finally get to you. You actually can forget that 'normality' doesn't generally include burglar bars, electric fences, and armed response teams.

My advice is to come by all means, but don't burn your bridges, you can't know how you'll feel about it in a year or two and you may feel very bad. Living here is very different to taking a holiday.

Make a deal with your OH that you have an exit strategy fully in place so that you can just press that big red button if you have too many sleepless nights of dread. Get him to agree that you shouldn't have to make a case based on opinions of how well South Africa is or isn't doing - if it feels wrong to YOU, you should be able to just go back.

Tegwyn

Cape Town is so stunningly beautiful, as is much more of S.A., and as a British girl that grew up in Southern Africa, I will suggest to you that going back there now to live is heading in the wrong direction. I've lost too many special people to crime in that country. I do understand your DH's wish to be closer to family as I have dealt with much of the same angst. However, he is heading back to familiar turf whilst you are going into the unknown. A gated community and all the best of security is nice when you are at home, but it is when you step out of those secured areas that you come face to face with the real world. Hopefully you both reach a mutual agreement on options for you should they be needed. Best of luck to you and should you move back, stay safe.

Saying all this to you makes me especially sad as this is a place in my heart I will always consider home.

username 34

sorry to say but my advice is also no.

Mu cousins - who are all south africans born and raised - all came to the UK (theres 4 brothers) and 3 of the wives wanted to go back to SA for their families.

Both of them are now back in SA, have lovely houses with pools, maids, boats and lots of toys...

but they live behind 7 ft tall walls, have electric gates, have panic buttons round the house, anti-hijacking devices in their cars, wont drive alone at night, cant afford to travel back to the UK - now they have kids they will most likely NEVER afford to emigrate without losing everything. They are hostage in their own country ...

and whilst they live this seemly affluent white lifestyle the underlying fear and oppression cant be escaped. They all know if too many people murdered or raped.

Buy a holiday home, go visit alot - maybe do some months of the year down there but dont LIVE down there.

Cosmos

I'm in a similar position to you, moving to Jo'burg in June 07 to be with my SA husand. We bought a house over there a year or so ago and are currently renting it out. My husband has lots of friends he has kept in touch with but I am keen to make my own friends. We have no kids so also can't use that as a starting point.

I have a place to study a masters by distance learning, also plan on joining a gym and a running club to try and meet people. So will see how it goes. be interested to hear how you get on so keep posting. Hosue are you getting in with your visa - I waited about 18 months for mine, SA home affairs are very very slow.

Prettypegagirl

Hi, I'm an South African who married a British man. We are living in SA at the moment, but he is starting to want to return to the UK.

I'm as scared of the UK as you guys are scared of South Africa! South Africa aren't that bad, you only see and hear the bad things! If you are planning to go to Cape Town, why not live in one of the smaller towns around Cape Town and then just work in Cape Town? There are really pretty towns with virtually no crime around Cape Town!

Cosmos

Thanks for your post Prettypegagirl. I'd love to live in Cape Town, we went there on holiday a few years ago and it is stunning. Unfortunately all my husbands friends and family are in Jo'burg so he won't consider it, also I guess it would be much harder for us both to make a completely new start. Also I think realistically the work opportunities are much better in Jo'burg.

Why does your husband want to return to the UK? Is he just home sick or is it something specific he doesn't like about SA? What puts you off moving to the UK?
I'm travelling at the moment, currently in New Zealand, I think my travels have shown me that the UK isn't so bad after all, all countries seem to have the same problems in the Western world (or at least the people living there think they do!) - crime, education, healthcare.....

crusheduk

I lived in Bloubrgrand (just north of Capetown) for 7 years.

Like any big city C.T. has pros and cons.

It's different. Please do not go ther expecting a hot, sunny London. The culture is different.

What I used to see was a lot of people coming down on holidays and sayign what a beautiful place it would be to live in....BUT holidaying and living in a country a so different.
I left S.A. becasue:

1) I didn't see a long term future for me there

2) Crime. Yes it is there, like in EVERY city. But it's the sheer violence of the place.

3) no work for young white people any longer.

4) Too hot in the summer. I know many people think I am mad. But 35+C is not my idea of fun. But their winters are beautiful.

5) Driving. Geez. It's like the dodgems. Abolutely crazy, danagerous, reckless. Everyone seems to tihnk it is ok to drive like a complete idiot. and drink driving is the norm. Watch the news at night and count how many car wrecks have claimed lives. NEVER get in a white mini bus.

It has many good points...I think for younger men, couples it's definitely a palce to try out. But for families....I am not so sure.

Good luck

Campbells

We lived outside Cape Town for nearly a year in 1999 as we thought that the Cape would be the answer to us leaving South Africa.

Some points to consider:

The Cape is VERY Afrikaans and I found it VERY difficult as I don’t speak the language. This can be a big thing in business there.

Salaries in the Cape tend to be up to a quarter of salaries in Johannesburg and property 2 – 3 times the price compared to Jo’burg.

Capetonians are not as easy to make friends with.

Don’t be fooled the romantic fantasy of living in some wee town which has not been affected by crime. The wee towns have all been affected by crime and in lots of cases more so as in many cases tourists are seen as soft targets due to their lack of street wise to Africa weakness.

The other factor to consider is property and your long term vision for your life, Yes, SA has a great life style but at a HUGE risk. You buy property and invest your life into that, a squatter camp goes up and de-values your property and then what? Also if you do make money in SA what you going to do if you want to leave? You can only take so much money out.

Yes, we would be back in SA in a heart-beat IF the crime was sorted but I don’t believe that will ever happen.

There are lots of other places to consider for fun in the sun but offer freedom too. Australia for example…..

I can only say that there is a reason for MILLIONS of whites leaving SA and that would be a huge flag going up for me. But as always that is just my opinion.

Cheers & good luck

capik

Hi. We returned to Cape Town 3 years ago and are really thrilled to be back. We spent 6 years in the UK.

Uppers: We managed to save enough pounds for a nice house in Hout Bay. Its great, we are now living a lifestyle which would be impossible in the UK. Lovely weather, beautiful surroundings, lovely people. Its a great place to raise children.

Downers: You are living in Africa, You may struggle to find a job, Crime, especially petty crime is on the increase.

My advise, Cape Town is still a great place to stay. Why live in the UK if you can live in Cape Town with your passport in your back pocket? My 2c.

Prettypegagirl

He is fed up with the blacks around here, he has got 3 black workers and they can do whatever they want, and he is not allowed to fire them! Then there is also a better future for our child over there, my matric certificate from South Africa are USELESS over there, so we want the best for our child. I'm terribly scared of England as I've never even been out of South Africa and now we are moving there permanantly, It's scary.

Campbells

Hi there,
Interesting post. This is not personal but I find it very strange that most returned to South Africa members of this forum tend to join up, do one or two posts & never hear from them again.

Whilst these may seem a solution and tempting I admit I would imagine that you don’t have children?

I must confess though, very sad that such a stunning place as Hout Bay had to be chosen for site for a squatter camp and as I remember it there were thousands.
Is it still the same? I hope that doesn’t de-value your property.

I am also intrigued why you say “impossible” in the UK? Is that because of your maid or could you be specific on that.

Also, for the benefit of others on the forum can you define “petty crime”?

Anyway, cheers & good luck. Let’s hope SA stays intact and you don’t have to loose everything and bail out on your parachute with nothing. Take care……..