rebs

We are another family that did a short term stint in the US on L1/2 and then returned to the UK.

The main motivator was as a career assignment for my husband - both in terms of our reasons for going and returning. We had the option to make the transition to a permanent role in the US, but my husband felt that his career would progress better in back in the UK (which it has).

Similar to HartleyHare, we have always (both before & after the move) felt that we have a good lives here in the UK. Therefore, much as we enjoyed out time in Texas, we never felt we were losing out by coming back to the UK.

We have one son who was 10 when we moved and 12 when we returned. Education wise, the timings worked for us - our local grammar school here in Dorset started at year 8 at that time (since changed to year 7) which fitted in very well with my son's age at the time. He was able to take the selection exam while we were still in Texas, then we relocated during the summer and he started with all the other year 8s in the September.

Moo52

Thank your for all your replies, it's really interesting hearing your stories, still very early days for us, for the time being going to try to enjoy the US as much as possible and see what happens!!!

Rete

And you are in a great place to experience the US. CT is a lovely state from top to tip with lots and lots to do for you and hubby and for the kids. You are close enough to Massachusetts for skiing and other winter sports. You can visit the museums up in Mystic and New London. Drive 1/2 hour more and take the ferry to Block Island in Rhode Island (I spent my honeymoon there and many delightful long weekends over the last 30 years) or venture a little further and take in the gilded age with the mansion walk in Newport. Boston is a great place to visit as is Marblehead and Salem in Massachusetts. Then you have the great state of Maine for their rocky beaches, great shopping, railroad museum and lobster shanties for fresh caught and steamed lobsters, corn-on-the-cob eaten at picnic tables. Don't forget New Hampshire or Vermont for autumn colors, cheeses and pottery (splatterware).

Enough your stay on the eastern coast of the US. Absorb the wonder of it visually. You are close to good theater and music both on Broadway and off and in community theater and summer stock.

I worked in Stamford for a number of years and detest the train system in CT although it is part and parcel of Metro North's New Haven line. For a long time it was a no state tax state but that ended more than a decade ago. The schools are decent so your children should excel.

Make a plan to return but don't write it in stone. You can be like many expats and with the proper employment manage to have the best of both worlds. A place in the US and a place in the UK. Or tomorrow your husband can be assigned to Outer Mangolia

Nutmegger

Time flies when you're having fun -- it was 25 years ago! But I agree with Rete about what a great place to live CT is, and how convenient for both NYC and all of New England. The snow arrived overnight, so I hope the OP's children and dog are having fun -- but in general I find the climate here, with three very distinct seasons (I left out spring as it is prone to come and go in a week!), very acceptable.

Moo52

Thank you for your lovely reply with lots of tourist things to do x we have had a great time kids and dog in the snow this morning☃

Moo52

☃we have had a lovely time in the snow, the most our 6 yr old has ever seen and the dog has had a blast x

Karlosthecackle

My girlfriend and I work for the same company, and when i was offered a 3 year ex-pat deal at the end of 2014 they were good enough to also find her a position here in the US.

We will be coming up two years here in March 2017 and absolutely love it here. We are just outside Philly PA so are close enough to NYC and DC, plus have the pocono mountains with all they have to offer only an hour away. Our quality of life here is much better compared to what we had in the UK (both of us recently coming out of marriages with nothing!).

The only thing that makes us both contemplate moving back to the UK is that our kids are there. I miss my three boys terribly and I know my GF misses her daughter just as much (if not more, it's different for mums).

That said, being here means we can offer our kids so many more opportunities. They've visited us in the summers for three weeks each time and absolutely love it here. My eldest son is 17 next year and is already talking to his mum about "going to live with Dad"

To conclude, both my GF and I would absolutely love to stay and make a life here. We have great neighbours, friends, found a decent local boozer (critical for a Brit imho!), and greatly enjoy everything this country has to offer that you simply can't get in the UK. My problem is that although i'm here on expat until 2018 (and that has been confirmed) my firm won't commit to GC until you've been in country for 5 years... that uncertainty makes it difficult for me to commit to a mortgage or to buy a car (leasing through IAS - They are brilliant!) I've thought about paying for the GC myself (Firm will endorse just not pay before 5 years) but it's so bloody expensive

lndn2nbca

We arrived in 2010 for what we clearly said would be either 2 or 3 years.

We bought a house after 18 months and have never looked back. I cannot imagine going back. I can't really articulate why, but after just a few years here I/we felt more settled and comfortable than I did after my first 35 years in the UK.

We moved from a (nice enough) 3 bed semi on the edge of London, and now have a rural property in the hills in Southern California with some land, animals etc. All things we could have also had in the UK (and in fact I did as a kid), but it isn't the same.

When I read about the people that went 'home', I always wonder what the difference in experience and circumstances is that keeps some and bounces others.

Moo52

Thank you for your response we have all really settled in CT but my main worry is being so far from grandparent longer term and costs of uni(bit of a way off kids 7 and 11).
Am not sure what the trigger will be to decide stay or go back home- may be out of our hands as hubby's job may dictate final plan, but really good to hear other people's story x

carcajou

Moo52 - If the move to Connecticut is going well - let it ride. Don't move back to the UK just because three years before, you said it was a three-year plan.

On the flip side - if the move goes sour, don't ride it out for the same reason. Cut your losses, live and learn and move on.

One thing to keep in mind - I read this somewhere but can't remember where, but find it true - is that when you move overseas, your professional contacts "back home" only stay durable for another two years or so. If you move back after 3, 4, 5 years away, it is not like just opening up a book again at the bookmark, and the UK will be a different place and that will need adjusting to.

I spent the majority of my life in the US, but for whatever reason I feel isolated/cut-off there and get real itchy about that when I am back there. Even though I feel the quality of life and opportunities afforded are better, maybe even far better, in the US than anywhere else in the world. I want my kids to go to high school and university there but primary school in Europe.

kodokan

Have you looked up uni costs? They seem the same as the UK or cheaper here to me - our flagship in-state unit (Ohio State) is about $11k a year, before any scholarships are applied. It's much higher up world rankings than most of the UK ones, too. Many of the private unis will offer a tuition plan that prices them the same as a public uni, too.

Sure, they're four year degrees rather than three, but an averagely bright kid can skip the first year of gen ed classes by taking a handful of AP classes in high school, for almost free (about $90 per exam).

So for planning purposes, here or the UK for a degree is a wash. Unless you definitely want the UK, in which case you'd want to be resident 3 years before starting.

Moo52

That's good to know think I had just scared myself by the thoughts of uni fee's running into huge figures- but very uneducated about how the system works x

Moo52

Thank you, my hubby transferred with his company so it may be that they move him back after the 3 years, am hoping the longer term plan will unfold over the next 12 months but for now trying to pack as many holidays, experiences as money will allow x

carcajou

Moo52, I concur with Kokodan.

The US higher education system can be very complex but essentially think of it as private, public/in-state and public/out-of-state.

Historically, public universities in the US have been funded primarily by the states they are located in. Because of this, students who go to a university in the state they reside in pay a lower "in state" tuition rate than students who are coming from out-of-state. The "out of state" tuition rate can easily be 2x or 3x the "in state" rate.

There are ample scholarships and prizes available too. I stayed "in state" and ended up having my tuition, housing, and books 100% covered for all three years (as I had enough AP credits to knock off one year).

US Citizens are also eligible for financial aid in the form of things like Pell Grants, which provide substantial tuition aid through grants that don't need to be paid back, not loans.

The universities typically define "in state" as a student lived "in state" for a certain period of time (generally a year or two) before attending that university (not while attending that university).

Runaway costs tend to occur at private universities, or when someone goes out of state and thus pays a much higher tuition rate. If your children by then are not US citizens they may be classed as "international students" and at that point the tuition will be raised through the roof.

So costs can be extortionately high or they can be (literally) nothing, if you develop a proper strategy (years before) and kids don't get aggressively set on their out-of-state or private "dream school."

Taking AP courses (and getting a 3 or above on the tests) in high school can knock off a full year, sometimes even two years, off of university while at the same time raising the student's overall GPA (making their university applications more competitive).

One other thing - university admissions in the US usually get sorted in the summer between 11th and 12th grade, or early in 12th grade - not after graduation or at the end of 12th grade. This leads to a condition called "senioritis" in US high schools among 12th graders, who already have received their university admissions letters and scholarships yet still have 7-8 months of high school left.

As Kokodan mentioned the major public universities in the US - such as Ohio State, and including the University of Connecticut - tend to rate higher than most UK universities except for Oxford, Cambridge and LSE.

So there is time for planning but not as much as you may think - probably this needs to start being planned out when your eldest reaches 15.

kodokan

I've not heard of this before. I know that some scholarships and federal sources of funding have restrictions, but the wording I've usually seen is along the lines of 'a US citizen, or planning to become one at the earliest possible opportunity'. I've not seen anything about non-citizens who are fully resident in the US being considered as international students, and charged tuition accordingly.