Joke of the day
Jun 20th 2010, 3:22 pm
#1
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2009
Location: Dubai
Posts: 5,965
Joke of the day
England have sensationly turned down a £70 million deal with a dog food company. Fans said the thought of the team wearing a shirt with WINALOT on the front was taking the piss.
Jun 20th 2010, 3:30 pm
#2
Roving Donny fan.
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Doncaster, UK. But not for long!!! Where's my visa!!!
Posts: 385
Re: Joke of the day
South African police admit they're having problems with drug-dealers, thieves and sex fiends. They've confirmed that things will improve when John Terry's family go home!
Jun 20th 2010, 3:31 pm
#3
Roving Donny fan.
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: Doncaster, UK. But not for long!!! Where's my visa!!!
Posts: 385
Re: Joke of the day
Teacher to class: "What does your dad do at weekends?" Little boy "He's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the moneys right he lets punters bang his arse and cum in his gob. Teacher takes him outside: "Is that true? "No miss, its bollocks. He plays for England but I'm too embarrased to say
Jun 20th 2010, 3:31 pm
#4
banned
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,611
Re: Joke of the day
NEWS FLASH - Englands Remaining GAME in the World Cup is to be screened on GAY TV , Broadcasters felt 11 arseholes getting pumped for 90 mins was a bit too much for BBC/ITV
SORRY never noticed Shiva's post!!
SORRY never noticed Shiva's post!!
Jun 20th 2010, 3:32 pm
#5
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Khaladiya Abu Dhabi
Posts: 4,181
Re: Joke of the day
Rooney: ` I hate booing.'
Carragher: `So do I, but how else are we going to fly home.'
Carragher: `So do I, but how else are we going to fly home.'
Jun 20th 2010, 3:36 pm
#6
Bored liberal
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Over there ----->
Posts: 13,713
Re: Joke of the day
Love them. 
Jun 20th 2010, 4:08 pm
#7
banned
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,611
Re: Joke of the day
John Terry's world cup may be over, as he jets back to England today
....
To explain to his wife why 37 Fathers day cards have arrived in the post
....
To explain to his wife why 37 Fathers day cards have arrived in the post
Jun 20th 2010, 5:43 pm
#8
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Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Dubai
Posts: 4,403
Re: Joke of the day
A father entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed.
With the worst premonition, he read it with trembling hands.
Dear Mum and Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice. I especially love all his piercing, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, so Ahmed gets better. He deserves it!
Don’t worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene. I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use the horse.
Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 years old, I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter, Aimee
P.S: Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at a neighbour's house!! I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life
THAN ENGLAND GETTING BEATEN IN THE WORLD CUP AGAIN!!!!
I love you. Aimee
With the worst premonition, he read it with trembling hands.
Dear Mum and Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice. I especially love all his piercing, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, so Ahmed gets better. He deserves it!
Don’t worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene. I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use the horse.
Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 years old, I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter, Aimee
P.S: Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at a neighbour's house!! I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life
THAN ENGLAND GETTING BEATEN IN THE WORLD CUP AGAIN!!!!
I love you. Aimee
Jun 20th 2010, 5:46 pm
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Khaladiya Abu Dhabi
Posts: 4,181
Re: Joke of the day
A father entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed.
With the worst premonition, he read it with trembling hands.
Dear Mum and Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice. I especially love all his piercing, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, so Ahmed gets better. He deserves it!
Don’t worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene. I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use the horse.
Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 years old, I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter, Aimee
P.S: Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at a neighbour's house!! I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life
THAN ENGLAND GETTING BEATEN IN THE WORLD CUP AGAIN!!!!
I love you. Aimee
With the worst premonition, he read it with trembling hands.
Dear Mum and Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice. I especially love all his piercing, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, so Ahmed gets better. He deserves it!
Don’t worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene. I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use the horse.
Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 years old, I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter, Aimee
P.S: Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at a neighbour's house!! I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life
THAN ENGLAND GETTING BEATEN IN THE WORLD CUP AGAIN!!!!
I love you. Aimee
Jun 20th 2010, 6:31 pm
#10
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 37
Re: Joke of the day
Jokes are brill
Jun 21st 2010, 6:24 am
#11
Go on.. Pull my finger..
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Dubai
Posts: 5,726
Re: Joke of the day
The England Football Team were visiting an orphanage in Cape Town this week.
"It was heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jamal, aged 6.
"It was heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jamal, aged 6.
Last edited by TGFKASE; Jun 21st 2010 at 6:26 am. Reason: Just read Max's thread...... Beaten to it....
Jun 21st 2010, 7:07 am
#12
Not an evil hypnotist
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,975
Re: Joke of the day
The social services are looking after a young girl and are trying to decide what to do with her.
"Do you want to go to Mummy?", they ask.
"No, Mummy slaps me and bashes me!"
"Do you want to go to Daddy?"
"No, Daddy punches me and spanks me!"
"Well, who do you want to go to?"
"The England football team."
"What? Why do you want to go to them?"
"Becasue the man outside said they'll never beat anybody..."
"Do you want to go to Mummy?", they ask.
"No, Mummy slaps me and bashes me!"
"Do you want to go to Daddy?"
"No, Daddy punches me and spanks me!"
"Well, who do you want to go to?"
"The England football team."
"What? Why do you want to go to them?"
"Becasue the man outside said they'll never beat anybody..."
