Howefamily

When I was 37 I hit a major mid life crisis. I was convinced that it was "game over" at 40, that nothing was left. I couldnt get past it. Its all I thought about for three years.
Then 40 came and went and it was surprisingly fine. I am happier now than I was at the end of my thirties, now that the dread of 40 has gone.
I am fearful of growing older. It was only seemingly yesterday that I was that 24 year old living it large with confidence and the feeling that the world was my oyster. I would love to have that sense of self back again.
I try to keep in my mind that growing old is a priviledge denied to many, thats currently working for me.

BristolUK

Careers are overrated.

A good job that you can enjoy is better IMO.

It's called a comfort zone for a reason

DandNHill

I have very conflicting feelings. My brother turned 56 yesterday. I thought about how he was closer to 60 now than 50. It only seems like yesterday that we would crawl around on the floor together pushing toy cars around!
You are right though. My ex will never get to enjoy old age. I'm now the age he was when he died. That feels weird!
I have no medical issues at all other than having to be careful of my back. So I have nothing to complain about.
I think I shall start telling people I'm in my early 40s...wonder if I can pull it off!

BristolUK

My dad died when he was 52. Getting past that was more of a milestone for me than the normal age points, even though two older brothers went past it before I did.

Paul_Shepherd

Thats how I felt when I hit 40....but surprisingly seemed to accept it ok, until now, now I have that feeling of there is nothing left, I have already achieved my best, everything in life from here on will be second or third best, so I can understand how you felt.

I think if all is not right in your life, age does become an obsession....I am obsessed with age for sure.....cant seem to help it, people say its just a number which to be quite honest is such a stupid statement, you are judged on that number in every way possible walk of life......in your career.. (look at this thread) in your personal and/or love life....Im 47 never married, no kids....first thing that enters peoples minds that don't know me...what wrong with that weirdo he never married, hasn't even got any kids. thats strange, it is I suppose, but im not weird, I'm just a normal guy.

So the phrase "age is just a number" really irritates me, yes it is a number....but not just a number, its a number that the world judges you on as a person. Shouldnt be that way, but it is.

Glad you found some sort of peace, it seems like you have a stable outlook now. You are right, growing old is a priviledge....my Dad was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour at my age, and died a year later. maybe this is one of the many reasons I have become obsessed with age.

Paul_Shepherd

Yes im inclined to agree with that...careers are over rated, its a job that pays me money to so the things I enjoy doing outside of work... as to me thats where life is....not at bloody work! If you can do a job you and enjoy then thats a huge plus! I dont think many people get that in life.

I do like my comfort zone....however we all had to step outside that or we wouldnt be living in Canada now, good things can come of stepping outside your zone, but its not something enjoy doing, and it gets harder to do as I get older.

DandNHill

I agree.

My Mum always use to say she was going to live to 108 like her grandmother did. Her Mum died at 86... sadly she died at 86 too. So I'm now wondering if I'm going to die at 86 as they seem to have started a trend...

BristolUK

Best to think of it as different. I'm hopeful of making a European trip next year but it saddens me to think it's not so easy to see it regularly. So, rather than think of Canada as second best I try to think of the advantage of being able to go see Nova Scotia or the Rockies. Or even Niagara Falls again.
That's how old I was when I married and became parent to 11 and 13 year olds.

Paul_Shepherd

Thats a positive outlook....I did something very similar a few years ago when I was struggling with living in Peterborough, I looked at ways to enjoy what I had...what Peterborough offered.....so I bought a boat.....which to me was a real good way of embracing and enjoying Peterborough and the surrounding areas....it worked! and it totally turned my opinion around, of course that is history now with a move to wherever on the cards.

Married and parent at 47, that's interesting! maybe im not weird after all.

Howefamily

It doesnt matter what people tell you that you should feel or how you should look at it. How you feel is how you feel.
Someone very intelligent once told me that I just had to rewire my brain, thats its possible and what I would need to get out of that thought process. He explained that you can reset the passage of thought that your brain has become used to using and thinking.
I googled it and its makes sense. I have spent some time rewiring back to the more positive me regardless of subject matter, trying to return to the way I viewed the world at 24. Its flippin hard.

Oink

If you’re lucky.

DandNHill

Haha. Thanks for that. I'll let you know when it happens! 🤣🤣

Oink

Moving to Canada has to knock some years off your life. The stress of emigrating, being separated from friends and family, not really being part of a community and the terrible processed food here. If you make it to 66 it'll be a miracle.

DandNHill

There I was worrying about retirement! No need for it now!!!

BristolUK

Funny thing, googling life expectancy gives UK @ 81.60, USA 78.74 and Canada 82.14.

Presumably none of those factors have been built in though.


Canada 2011


PEI 80.7, NS 80.2