"Help I can't get my teeth fixed"...
Sep 17th 2008, 9:23 am
#31
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: i am here
Posts: 825
Re: "Help I can't get my teeth fixed"...
Who doesn't like anything electrical? Your friends or the cats?
Electrical Stuff deserves respect, and I give it, unstintingly. Even a simple hairdryer can kill, you know. In the wrong hands, (specially wet ones) a simple table-lamp one buys for creating ambient lighting effects can become the equivalent of a homicidal maniac. And don't even think about toasters - serial killers, toasters.
And let's face it, cats are smart. Anything that knows if it's whiskers won't fit through a gap DON'T GO THERE gets my respect as well. If only humans were as smart, there would be a lot less kids and old grandmothers with their heads stuck through bannisters ............
Electrical Stuff deserves respect, and I give it, unstintingly. Even a simple hairdryer can kill, you know. In the wrong hands, (specially wet ones) a simple table-lamp one buys for creating ambient lighting effects can become the equivalent of a homicidal maniac. And don't even think about toasters - serial killers, toasters.
And let's face it, cats are smart. Anything that knows if it's whiskers won't fit through a gap DON'T GO THERE gets my respect as well. If only humans were as smart, there would be a lot less kids and old grandmothers with their heads stuck through bannisters ............
I have suffered at the hands of a killer toaster. No more in here do they live.
As for bannisters, interestingly they always narrow when your head goes through. How is this achieveable? I often spend many an hour thinking of this.
Sep 17th 2008, 10:47 am
#32
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,094
Re: "Help I can't get my teeth fixed"...
Morning Moose Man, how are you this fine day?
We are all waiting with anticipation for Ka Ora's new Avatar. I am willing to bet a penny (don't laugh, that's a lotta money for me m8) it has GUNS in it
I'd give another penny to see this guy's CV
And another penny to be allowed to write him a reference .....
My ribs ache this morning from laughing, and oh boy, I needed that last night - what with that Lemon Bank thing going bust and now those insurance giants all going "Tango Uniform" (I am expecting you to have to ask me what that means!lol) I have a horrid feeling I may be trapped here in Old Blighty till I die.
What makes me laugh out loud, is that Lehman Bank Bunch gave their top guy (seems he was as much use as a chocolate fireguard) a 2 million dollar bonus last year .....
Bet HE can't afford to have his teeth fixed either ..... the more you got, the more you want. There should be a law:
"If you cock-up Big Time and have been paid Megabucks for it, when company goes Tits Up, you pay it back".
That might help productivity a bit ....
These people never learn do they?
Happy day to all
I have changed my will to ensure I am buried with a Laptop, so I can keep on postin and keep laughing even after the end .....
We are all waiting with anticipation for Ka Ora's new Avatar. I am willing to bet a penny (don't laugh, that's a lotta money for me m8) it has GUNS in it
I'd give another penny to see this guy's CV
And another penny to be allowed to write him a reference .....
My ribs ache this morning from laughing, and oh boy, I needed that last night - what with that Lemon Bank thing going bust and now those insurance giants all going "Tango Uniform" (I am expecting you to have to ask me what that means!lol) I have a horrid feeling I may be trapped here in Old Blighty till I die.
What makes me laugh out loud, is that Lehman Bank Bunch gave their top guy (seems he was as much use as a chocolate fireguard) a 2 million dollar bonus last year .....
Bet HE can't afford to have his teeth fixed either ..... the more you got, the more you want. There should be a law:
"If you cock-up Big Time and have been paid Megabucks for it, when company goes Tits Up, you pay it back".
That might help productivity a bit ....
These people never learn do they?
Happy day to all
I have changed my will to ensure I am buried with a Laptop, so I can keep on postin and keep laughing even after the end .....
Away Lass.
You must have lots of money,to waste it on a investment like that.
Sep 17th 2008, 10:59 am
#33
Grey Bombshell
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: La Feuillee, Brittany
Posts: 1,441
Re: "Help I can't get my teeth fixed"...
Well, we could get really paranoid and say bannisters are "out to get us" or we could take the scientific and sensible route and ponder on the fact that:
1. One's head gets bigger once through them, as one is feeling really clever for a while;
2. If done in the winter with iron or metal ones, chances are they shrink, thus reducing the width of the gap one can use to remove one's head;
3. It is wise to leave some surgical scissors near one's bannisters as, in the event of one getting stuck, one can cut off one's ears and escape that way.
4. If one does not own surgical scissors, I have it on good authority a small, serrated carving knife will do the job adequately.
5. Make sure there are plastic bags handy to catch the blood caused by the above, or you will ruin the carpet, and in these days of mishaps in the home, insurance companies are getting tougher and are unlikely to pay out if you have been "a stupid b*****d" as they so quaintly put it in an article I read on the Daily Mash recently.
6. Get drunk. Have you ever noticed how drunks rarely seem to get hurt? or stuck or trapped or anything? like cats with nine lives, these people cheat death more successfully than anyone in Final Destination, so, GET BLETTED. And of course if you drink enough, you won't even remember it anyway, until you get a bill a month later from the firebrigade. (This is my personal favourite, drink and firemen with chainsaws all rolled into one!
There you have it - ponder no more!
(Feels like Science 101 all over again).
1. One's head gets bigger once through them, as one is feeling really clever for a while;
2. If done in the winter with iron or metal ones, chances are they shrink, thus reducing the width of the gap one can use to remove one's head;
3. It is wise to leave some surgical scissors near one's bannisters as, in the event of one getting stuck, one can cut off one's ears and escape that way.
4. If one does not own surgical scissors, I have it on good authority a small, serrated carving knife will do the job adequately.
5. Make sure there are plastic bags handy to catch the blood caused by the above, or you will ruin the carpet, and in these days of mishaps in the home, insurance companies are getting tougher and are unlikely to pay out if you have been "a stupid b*****d" as they so quaintly put it in an article I read on the Daily Mash recently.
6. Get drunk. Have you ever noticed how drunks rarely seem to get hurt? or stuck or trapped or anything? like cats with nine lives, these people cheat death more successfully than anyone in Final Destination, so, GET BLETTED. And of course if you drink enough, you won't even remember it anyway, until you get a bill a month later from the firebrigade. (This is my personal favourite, drink and firemen with chainsaws all rolled into one!
There you have it - ponder no more!
(Feels like Science 101 all over again).
Sep 17th 2008, 11:04 am
#34
Grey Bombshell
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: La Feuillee, Brittany
Posts: 1,441
Re: "Help I can't get my teeth fixed"...
Stan!! Morning sir, how are thee this fine day?
You can get laptops at car boot sales these days, all in perfect working order - most people upgrade the minute something better comes out and if they have no kids to pass it onto, off to the CBS it goes. Scavengers such as myself can kit out the whole house for £8.59.
You can get laptops at car boot sales these days, all in perfect working order - most people upgrade the minute something better comes out and if they have no kids to pass it onto, off to the CBS it goes. Scavengers such as myself can kit out the whole house for £8.59.
