Hi all

Not sure if this is the right place to post this but....

I was just wondering what other peoples experiences have been like when becoming a permanent resident in the US but having a partner who cannot join you as they are not a USC, me being the permanent resident and my boyfriend a UKC, we've been together for 6 years and I just don't relish the thought of being apart for months on end for the next however many years!! I was just wondering what other peoples experiences had been like in a similar situation.

Thanks

What exactly do you want to know? I've not been in that experience myself, but I have read about others who have. They just have to wait the time apart until the non-USC is eligible for the immigrant visa, with visits to each other here and there. When the non-USC becomes a USC, the petition gets upgraded and a visa number becomes immediately available.

From what I've read, it's very stressful on the relationship, so be prepared to tough it out together.


Rene

Find somebody new .....its a big world....
or go back to him ...

Even that is not going to work. They are not married so SOL for getting him into the US unless he qualifies for a visa himself.

Nicola, not sure what experiences you are looking for. I've not experienced that either. My husband and I had the long distance relationship for about 18 months, before we finally married here in the US. However, I was a US citizen which made it easier to be together. I know how difficult those 18mo were, so I can only imagine the frustration if you've been doing the LDR for 6 years.

If you guys are very determined to live together, in the USA, you need to first get married, then apply for the immigrant visa for him. While that is pending, you need to file for your US citizenship as soon as you are eligible. After you are naturalized, you can upgrade the petition for him and be together in about 8-10months here in the US. I don't know if you are interested at all in becoming a US citizen, but that is your best and (probably) quickest option.

Otherwise, he needs to look into how he can get a visa on his own merits (i.e. employment sponsorship, intra-company transfer, etc).

Or you could always go to live with him in the UK. It is a first world country after all!

I didn't read the OP's post that way.

Edit: Looking back through her past posts she came to the US recently. Her father is a USC through marriage.

I know, but other than immigration advice, wasn't really sure what to tell her. I wasn't going to be blunt like Ray and tell her to find someone else!

Oh duh....I read that before my morning coffee.

Young love ... I vaguely remember it ..
Good luck Nicola

Thanks for all the replies, all I was interested in was if and how other people had survived a similar experience of the long distance relationship, how to maximise the amount of time together etc! The immigration stuff is pretty well documented so I know what we need to do from that aspect. I guess ultimately it is just frustrating having waited so long to get here then being separated from the one person you love!

I'm with Ray on this one - give a yank a try.... they are scrummy

Seriously though, with webcams, online games etc there are ways you can spend time together, if I remember rightly there is a thread somewhere about someone who was looking for suggestions for 'skype dates' with their partner that can help to bridge the gap whilst you are waiting for visits. (I can't give an opinion because I've moved hell and high water to stay with DH through the immigration process and would go insane if he was 3000 miles away again)

Amen sistah!

To keep our sanity while apart, we called each other all the time (costs be damned), used webcams, instant messenger, SMS's, even little gifts through Inter-flora, and travelled to see each other as much as we could. There were, uh, probably a few risque photos sent too. It wasn't easy, but we knew there was an end in sight.

For a true, long-term, long distance relationship, with no close end in sight, I'm not really sure how to keep it all going. For certain though, you must have great communication with each other, and have absolute trust. Without those, I don't think you can realisticly keep the relationship going.

Good luck!