When does it get easier? Unhappy in Michigan.
#61

But that's what the daughter will do, claim she's trying while digging her heels in and not integrating. ..... In her shoes, that's what I'd have done.

#62
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Six months is a good time frame for her to start forming friendships with classmates, even finding a boyfriend. Kids can go from total unhappiness to feeling content and comfortable in days.

#64

Watched the movie Brooklyn last night (loved it -- a real ex-pat tearjerker!) and the speech at the end of the movie made me think of this thread:
"You have to think like an American. You'll feel so homesick that you'll want to die, and there's nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won't kill you. And one day, the sun will come out, you might not even notice straight away--it'll be that faint. And then you'll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who's only yours. And you'll realize that this is where your life is."
Hope the sun comes out soon for you and your daughter, OP!
"You have to think like an American. You'll feel so homesick that you'll want to die, and there's nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won't kill you. And one day, the sun will come out, you might not even notice straight away--it'll be that faint. And then you'll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who's only yours. And you'll realize that this is where your life is."
Hope the sun comes out soon for you and your daughter, OP!

#65
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Joined: Nov 2010
Location: Santa Cruz CA
Posts: 280












Accents I have been associated with:
Australian
New Zealand
Scottish (I'm from southern England!!!)
The last and most offensive comment I got was from a 'dude bro' girl last Friday.
'So are you British or just gay or something'
Yeah.....
I firmly believe that Americans think Australian etc on the accent because they are hammered with the posh queens english accent or the crappy mockney accent on telly.
Any deviation from these stereotypes = must be from somewhere other than England
I can't imagine how tough it must be for your Young ones.
I met a girl from Manchester who had been here since she was about 15.
She had completely embraced the American lifestyle, lost her accent etc.
That's fine and good but she had developed this weird attitude where she would tell really stupid lies about the UK. It made me so mad, if you don't like the place fine but don't lie about it!
it takes time to adjust I think, the problem perhaps is this digital age where everyone is just a txt message/Skype call away. It's hard to let go and move forwards I suppose.
Australian
New Zealand
Scottish (I'm from southern England!!!)
The last and most offensive comment I got was from a 'dude bro' girl last Friday.
'So are you British or just gay or something'
Yeah.....
I firmly believe that Americans think Australian etc on the accent because they are hammered with the posh queens english accent or the crappy mockney accent on telly.
Any deviation from these stereotypes = must be from somewhere other than England
I can't imagine how tough it must be for your Young ones.
I met a girl from Manchester who had been here since she was about 15.
She had completely embraced the American lifestyle, lost her accent etc.
That's fine and good but she had developed this weird attitude where she would tell really stupid lies about the UK. It made me so mad, if you don't like the place fine but don't lie about it!
it takes time to adjust I think, the problem perhaps is this digital age where everyone is just a txt message/Skype call away. It's hard to let go and move forwards I suppose.

#66
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2 months is very early days (in my opinion).
But i would do everything you can to encourage your daughter (and indeed yourself) to join in ANYTHING as much as possible. even things you are only minorly interested in. The more you join in, the less weird it starts to feel and you are busy and have less time to dwell on what you are missing. Over time as it normalizes you can be more picky and only do the stuff you really love, but by then hopefully you will be more at ease here.
But i would do everything you can to encourage your daughter (and indeed yourself) to join in ANYTHING as much as possible. even things you are only minorly interested in. The more you join in, the less weird it starts to feel and you are busy and have less time to dwell on what you are missing. Over time as it normalizes you can be more picky and only do the stuff you really love, but by then hopefully you will be more at ease here.

Getting involved in things and meeting people (hopefully making some good friends) is the key to giving it a proper go. If you've done that and still can't settle, then at least you have tried and found out it's just not for you.
As for the accent thing, that's really minor in comparison to being able to settle happily as a family. I have a NI accent that was anglicized by living in England for years. Some people think I'm American unless they hear me long enough to pick up a word or two that gives away my origins. My wife is from NW England and she has been accused at various times of being Irish, Scottish, German, South African and Australian. It's not a big deal.

#67
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Joined: Apr 2016
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I once got asked what language they speak in England. Well and truly gobsmacked by that one.

#69
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Joined: Nov 2010
Location: Santa Cruz CA
Posts: 280












In their defence there is more than one language in Britain.
Saying that they specifically said England....but also saying that Americans use England as a synonym with the UK, must upset the Welsh and Scottish a bit that.
Damn I've just gone and overthought this.

#70
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Joined: Apr 2016
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It was in CA. College student though!

#72
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Joined: Jul 2008
Location: South Australia
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I live in Australia, but originally from Liverpool. I've had Irish a few times (not unreasonable), and Kiwi a few times too.
Some Aussies have come close with 'you sound like the Beatles'.

#73

I'd say seven or eight years in before I started to feel at home here, in the sense that I felt I was as much of a stake-holder here as any natural born American.
I've had the usual, Welsh, Scot, Irish, Aussie, all to be expected, but I have also had some odd ones. One person has a Czech friend, he assumed I must be Czech too. I have also been refereed to as "that Russian guy"
I've had the usual, Welsh, Scot, Irish, Aussie, all to be expected, but I have also had some odd ones. One person has a Czech friend, he assumed I must be Czech too. I have also been refereed to as "that Russian guy"

#74
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Location: Chicago, IL
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Just to add a bit of balance to the debate about accents, I bet very few, if any here, could distinguish between an East Coast and West Coast dialect, or that of someone born and raised in New York and one from Jersey - 2 separate states
Very easy to forget how massive a country, both geographically and culturally the US is so it's a tad disingenuous to expect Americans en mass to understand or appreciate the nuances in UK dialects or those anywhere else in the world for that matter. This is an awful generalization, but many Americans seldom ever leave their home state so they can hardly be expected to know or care about the differences in dialect between someone from Liverpool and one from Manchester, for example
Very easy to forget how massive a country, both geographically and culturally the US is so it's a tad disingenuous to expect Americans en mass to understand or appreciate the nuances in UK dialects or those anywhere else in the world for that matter. This is an awful generalization, but many Americans seldom ever leave their home state so they can hardly be expected to know or care about the differences in dialect between someone from Liverpool and one from Manchester, for example

#75

I have had a number of conversations over the years when I have explained the difference between England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom.
